..And all the children are insane, waiting, waiting for the summer rain
I didnt sleep last night, but instead it was this weird trance-like state with all these voices screaming at me from inside my head, i suppose, and all these bizarre images which at the time i found incredibly profound and somewhat disturbing, but now can't remember. So I did that for about 4 or 5 hours and then got up to go to my 8:00 class. That makes 2 nights in a row that I haven't slept and have instead been presented with disturbing images of what I suspect are other people's lives. It sucked. And on my way to class, it was so cold and windy!! I suspect God is fucking me over just to see how much it takes before I break. I'm broken, God. You can quit now. But yeah. I am actually envious of those people who can smile and be happy and laugh every day just because they believe that God is with them wherever they go, and in the end, they will be ultimately rewarded. That whole footprints in the sand thing. That is pretty cool. But those are my footprints. I know my own feet. If only I could be that simplistic in my beliefs. Shyeah.
I am forcing myself to go to all my classes today. It doesn't matter how bad I feel.
I drew that in my 8:00 class, because we were looking at modernist and post-modernist slides and I didnt give a damn because she had given us notes. Notes=no paying attention. That picture is how I feel today. I guess. I don't know.
I went to the JET building to pay my parking ticket and they said they didnt have any on record for me, but since I register tomorrow, I paid them anyway so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Not like registering matters anyway. I'm so out.
Then I went to my CI class, still feeling pretty damn bad. And do you know what I see upon entering? A COP!! Oh my god, I almost ran out of there. I got goosebumps on my arms and I wanted to, well, I don't know. But I just sat down, covered my head and told myself that he wasn't out to get me. Didn't help that I had on my dare shirt, and that he kept staring at me. Just me. I was afraid he was going to ask to search my stuff, which wouldn't have mattered, but I woulda puked on him, probably. Damnit. I mean, if I can't be near cops, how the fuck am I supposed to go to court on Wednesday?!! I do not know. I need emotional support. People, pilgramage. Now. I stayed for the duration of the class, though, but I was unnecessarily afraid of the man. Stupid cops.
I used to think cops were cool, because one time when I was a little kid, we were in the mall and a cop was eating pork 'n beans out of a cup and I stared at her and told my little brother that we should run away, because she would get us, and all he wanted was her pork 'n beans. Then she came up and told us that policemen (or policewomen) are good and that we shouldnt be afraid of them. And I wasn't, then. But fuck, (heh heh heh, I said but fuck), I still am. Then I got a pirate eye patch for free. So that is why I wasn't afraid of cops. The cop didnt give me the eye patch though. A pirate did. There was a pirate standing on the waterfront selling eye patches and I went up to him/her and went, "Arrr you scurvy sea dog, walk the plank and swab the deck!!" and he/she thought it was so cute that I got a free eyepatch. So the rest of the day I walked around looking like a poor disabled kid who got their eye poked out. But I was happy. too bad.
I am forcing myself to go to all my classes today. It doesn't matter how bad I feel.
I drew that in my 8:00 class, because we were looking at modernist and post-modernist slides and I didnt give a damn because she had given us notes. Notes=no paying attention. That picture is how I feel today. I guess. I don't know.
I went to the JET building to pay my parking ticket and they said they didnt have any on record for me, but since I register tomorrow, I paid them anyway so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Not like registering matters anyway. I'm so out.
Then I went to my CI class, still feeling pretty damn bad. And do you know what I see upon entering? A COP!! Oh my god, I almost ran out of there. I got goosebumps on my arms and I wanted to, well, I don't know. But I just sat down, covered my head and told myself that he wasn't out to get me. Didn't help that I had on my dare shirt, and that he kept staring at me. Just me. I was afraid he was going to ask to search my stuff, which wouldn't have mattered, but I woulda puked on him, probably. Damnit. I mean, if I can't be near cops, how the fuck am I supposed to go to court on Wednesday?!! I do not know. I need emotional support. People, pilgramage. Now. I stayed for the duration of the class, though, but I was unnecessarily afraid of the man. Stupid cops.
I used to think cops were cool, because one time when I was a little kid, we were in the mall and a cop was eating pork 'n beans out of a cup and I stared at her and told my little brother that we should run away, because she would get us, and all he wanted was her pork 'n beans. Then she came up and told us that policemen (or policewomen) are good and that we shouldnt be afraid of them. And I wasn't, then. But fuck, (heh heh heh, I said but fuck), I still am. Then I got a pirate eye patch for free. So that is why I wasn't afraid of cops. The cop didnt give me the eye patch though. A pirate did. There was a pirate standing on the waterfront selling eye patches and I went up to him/her and went, "Arrr you scurvy sea dog, walk the plank and swab the deck!!" and he/she thought it was so cute that I got a free eyepatch. So the rest of the day I walked around looking like a poor disabled kid who got their eye poked out. But I was happy. too bad.