im ok... really.... dammit, why is everyone all sad and shit? some without due purpose, ha.
[yes, i cheated and copied my xanga post cuz im busy and yet procrastinate the more efficient way]
to anyone who actually reads this shit, im sorry for all my shitty ass blogs. but... another shitty day. the bright side? at least moms health seems to be stagnant for now....
i had to leave the house cuz my family saw me crying and they dont need to worry about me... theres enough shit they need to deal with without having to see whats fucking me up these days.
i just... ok, so this isnt the first time he's made me cry. he knew i was but didnt care. i knew itd be like this. and theres more... but i cant talk about it.... just another upsetting weekend. people are so selfish. especially after all ive done... but its never enough. its never enough to put myself on hold, never enough to be appreciated to fund the lives of those around me when the only money i have is pretty much from the government--for school and from the interment camps....
and i still cant believe the fucking rent check jon wrote me was no good. he owes me two months rent now. and no check in sight. no nothing. im just tired of taking care of everyones shit and nobody bothering to do a damn thing about it. maybe ill just always get taken advantage of. even by the people who said theyd help me get out of that. but it never happens. they betray you. they lie to your face and then blame you for it.
and then theres school. it should be so easy. but i just cant do all this right now. im such a fucking emotional mess that i had to concentrate to stop myself from crying during the theta tau meeting. how fucking sad is that. i should get my tear ducts surgically removed. haha. it would amuse me.
people mooch cuz they can. and i cant do anything to stop it. and its not even about the money really... i dont care about that... but if anyone at all just stopped and actually gave a damn... it just might make my day a little brighter....
to anyone who actually reads this shit, im sorry for all my shitty ass blogs. but... another shitty day. the bright side? at least moms health seems to be stagnant for now....
i had to leave the house cuz my family saw me crying and they dont need to worry about me... theres enough shit they need to deal with without having to see whats fucking me up these days.
i just... ok, so this isnt the first time he's made me cry. he knew i was but didnt care. i knew itd be like this. and theres more... but i cant talk about it.... just another upsetting weekend. people are so selfish. especially after all ive done... but its never enough. its never enough to put myself on hold, never enough to be appreciated to fund the lives of those around me when the only money i have is pretty much from the government--for school and from the interment camps....
and i still cant believe the fucking rent check jon wrote me was no good. he owes me two months rent now. and no check in sight. no nothing. im just tired of taking care of everyones shit and nobody bothering to do a damn thing about it. maybe ill just always get taken advantage of. even by the people who said theyd help me get out of that. but it never happens. they betray you. they lie to your face and then blame you for it.
and then theres school. it should be so easy. but i just cant do all this right now. im such a fucking emotional mess that i had to concentrate to stop myself from crying during the theta tau meeting. how fucking sad is that. i should get my tear ducts surgically removed. haha. it would amuse me.
people mooch cuz they can. and i cant do anything to stop it. and its not even about the money really... i dont care about that... but if anyone at all just stopped and actually gave a damn... it just might make my day a little brighter....