The Great Assault!
The Battle for Christmas!!!
I crack up whenever I hear these stories about the "assault" on Christmas or the "invasion" of the phrase "Happy Holidays" into our popular culture. I had heard about people picketing Wal-Mart (not really something abnormal, but hear me out) because Wal-Mart's corporate policy is to say "Happy Holidays" and not "Merry Christmas" when you're leaving the store. To which I say, meh. Wal-Mart could use a few less bucks.
But here's the funny part of it. Today, I actually met a guy who cussed out both an employee and a city manager for not using the phrase "Merry Christmas" when he checked out at Wal-Mart. Here's his story, as told in his own words.
"I walked in to get some groceries. You know, typical stuff. Milk, eggs, what have you. I even ordered a burger to go from McDonalds 'cause I was hungry. Okay, so I go to the register, and all I see all around the entire store is this 'Happy Holidays' bullsh*t. I got mad, so when I checked out I made sure to say 'Merry Christmas' to the checker lady. She didn't reply, so I said it to her again. Again, no reply. So when she gave me my total, I told her that if she didn't say Merry Christmas, I wasn't going to pay. And sure enough, she refused to say it. So I demanded she tell me Merry Christmas, and again, she said it was corporate policy, she couldn't do it. I demanded to speak the manager.
"The manager shows up and says, 'I'm sorry sir, I can't honor your request for our employees to say 'Merry Christmas.' It's corporate policy. We can't break the rules.' Okay then, I say, take your 'Happy Holidays' bullsh*t and shove it back up your ass where it came from. I don't need your products or your time. And tell McDonalds they can go eat that burger I just ordered. I wasn't hungry for corporate bullsh*t in the form of a patty of charred mammal flesh, anyway.'"
The man walked out of the store and apparently "floored it right out of the parking lot, over to Fred Meyer to get some REAL American service. Hell, I served in Vietnam, I love this country. If Wal-Mart doesn't , then they can go back to China or wherever the hell they came from. They aren't getting my service ever again."
So after listening to this story, I looked at the man's coat. It had a tag hanging from his jacket, which I could tell was from Fred Meyer. I told the man he still had a tag on his jacket, and he proceeded to remove it before crumpling it up and putting it in his jacket. Then I asked him, "When you went to Fred Meyer, did they honor your request to say 'Merry Christmas?'"
He replied, "No they didn't, but as I was walking out I realized that I still needed a coat because it was raining outside. So I bought it anyway and just pretended that she forgot to say it instead. But I'll tell you what, Wal-Mart's never getting my business again."
There you have it. The story of Coos County, through the eyes of a journalist. Top story, tonight at five.