(Untitled)

[benponder]

I just got a phone call from my boss, down at the Cellar... she just got fired. Now Brad is the manager, who, as the other musician working there, for some reason feels intimidated and threatened by me. It's a consequence of me shedding much of my false ego; the bigger the ego, the more fragile it is. Mine is very small, so when egos clash, mine

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[benponder]

that's actually what Linda was looking for; her philosophy was that the bar is made up of the people. By having fun characters working the bar who know how to work a crowd, people come in because the bartenders make the bar a very nice environment. She was figuring that I would build up a fan base, and that would be business for the bar.

Problem is that I'm just so passionate about everything I do that I sound arrogant and pretentious. I'm not, I just thoroughly believe in the things that I do, or else I wouldn't be doing them.

Linda understood that; that's why she wanted me to write down that philosophy of the service industry that I'd been developing while working in the restaurants. She saw that it was inspired and exactly what it says. It wasn't me trying to suck up or prove my superiority or whatever. I hate ego clashes and conflict in general, but I somehow always end up right here. And I have difficulty acting subdued (part of why working at the truck stop was so painful for me).

I've just had enough of this. It's been almost a year since I was booted from school, that constant stream of bad luck has been running ever since. And it's the nasty kind of bad luck, the kind that gets your hopes up and then dumps on you again. Some celestial being is holding a magnifying glass over me and watching me smolder.