request for input

[benponder]

the second night I was working at the bar, I got into a conversation with the manager about my philosophy of what it means to be a bartender. I rambled for a little bit, eyes closed as I normally do when thinking very deeply, and when I opened my eyes the manager was looking at me with an awe filled smile. She was so impressed with what I'd said

Comments

[benponder]

I'd kinda guessed your name was sara by your journal name. Mine's Ben, probably also obvious :)

don't know if you've read much of my journal, or stuff that (I think) I put on the website, but when people are drinking and it's not a happy thing, I am performing the blues for them. (Also, background, by day/night/any time I'm not working, I'm a professional musician)

Blues is a form of spiritual healing. The bluesman, performer, whatever you want to call them connects to their audience's pain. This is the sad part of a blues song. The bluesman connects and resonates with it, brings it out front, understands it, and empathizes. I become that pain, I visualize it like waves at a certain frequency; like a sustained note.

Then I'll find a dissonance with it. A sense joy through the pain. As I'm connected to the audience, I force out this dissonant joy, happiness, power, whichever, through the discord with the pain. This breaks the pain, like a fever. Go watch a really good blues performance and you'll see what I'm talking about. You will leave the set feeling very awake, very alive; all the stagnant energies that kind of caked themselves around you have been dissipated, and you're now free to connect to your world again.

This isn't limited to music. Blues is a way of life, a way of experiencing... it can be used in just conversation, or even body language. It's almost never a direct thing, because if the audience knows this is what you're trying to do, it never works. It functions on a subconscious level, something empathetically projected between people. The same way you can tell if someone is pissed off, no matter how well they hide it. That same connection is where the whole harmony/dissonance thing occurs.

A lot of times, this is what the customer wants, but they don't know it. I constantly run into people who need it, who say they are just "drawn to me" for some reason or another. I've learned to listen to what people mean as opposed to what they say, pay close attention to the things they don't say, and use my intuition to piece the information together. This is how I determine the role the customer wants me to play.

perhaps I'm just not very tippable. I don't connect with other guys all too well in general, so I don't know how to work the men. The women, I can work, but maybe not so well. Perhaps that's why all the female coworkers I've had have usually averaged better tips than me.

However, I will hold out for the groupies. Hopefully, since this place is a live music venue for jazz/folk type stuff, I'll get to serve THOSE groupies as well and get tips... as well as selling CDs :)

[sarahibiz]

First, I must say that you speak (write) very eloquently.
Though I cannot relate to Blues -- since I know nothing of it.
But I can understand giving your art to other people.
Every time I sell a piece of my art I think about what it means to me.
And it will mean something so different to another person.

I guess I hate to say it, but life is all about roles.
Who we play, who others play for us.
It's pretty freaky when you think about it.

I think I know why people are so drawn to you.
It's your passion for music.
When people feel that passion they want to get close to it.
They hope just by being near it, some of it will rub off.
We all want what we haven't got. lol

Sorry this reply is super short. I'm trapped at work and wonder of wonders I'm being expected to actually be productive.