request for input

[benponder]

the second night I was working at the bar, I got into a conversation with the manager about my philosophy of what it means to be a bartender. I rambled for a little bit, eyes closed as I normally do when thinking very deeply, and when I opened my eyes the manager was looking at me with an awe filled smile. She was so impressed with what I'd said

Comments

[benponder]

oh invade away, it's fun. Besides, it's good for me to talk to other people within the industry. I tend to not get close to any of my coworkers because they more often than not don't share my view on personal drama; they bring theirs in with them, and I would prefer to stay clear of it. You, however, work within the service industry, but do not work side by side with me. It's good for me :)

Yeah, I try to do the whole groupie thing. Regular customers are key to making any money. I've not been at this place long enough to establish any regular customers (obviously, I've just been there over a week), but I try to be an appealing enough character that people would like to make me a regular part of their story. I've never really gotten along too well with people my age, and particularly not the daft ones. That's why I'm so hopeful for this place; it's a more middle aged crowd, intelligent, cultured... as opposed to the truck stop diner I used to work at, where the girls who were in at all hours of night enjoyed my ass more than my mind (and would sometimes leave a phone number INSTEAD OF a tip), and the truckers despised me as a young fit guy who was not miserable, while they were old and fat and stuck in the cab of a truck. All my personal strengths were uncalled for and undesirable in that place, and while I can play whatever role I need to for whoever, there are some I have difficulty keeping up constantly. As transparent as I try to be, my personality still colors me. My colors match the place I'm working at now; I can be myself and fill the roles the customers want me to play.

and statistically, I'll agree that women are the worst tippers. However, the best tips I've ever gotten were from women. I simply fit the roles they wanted perfectly, and made their nights such an experience that they were glad to pay me for it.

but yeah, invade away. LJ is most of my social life these days. Pleased to meet you :)

[sarahibiz]

I so loath drama in the work place. It's sooo Jerry Springer.
As a manager I have to deal with it all. I have no clue how most of my employees even function with all the craziness they get into. lol

You'll get groupies. One week is not enough to time to build a good fan base. Hang in there. Smile LOTS.
I must say I hope your hopes aren't too high for this bar though. Bars are generally full of people who drink too much. No matter you how they dress it up. It's super hard to peg a person's needs when they've had 7 cocktails. People go to bars to drink -- sometimes that's a happy thing, many times it's just not.

Example: I waited on JS (shouldn't give out his name, but he's big in the graphic design industry. And I'm a graphic artist by day lol This guy is like my hero. He's so talented and has a great firm.)
Anyhow, turns out this man was uber drunk. He was practically slobbering all over the bar. YUCK. There he was -- swearing and yelling. I was totally floored. Then I had to remind myself of that I was indeed bartending which means dealing with drunks of all kinds.

I will never say women are good tippers, save for myself.
I can work the men. Women are hard as hell to work over.

It's nice to meet you too. I'm Sarah btw.

[benponder]

I'd kinda guessed your name was sara by your journal name. Mine's Ben, probably also obvious :)

don't know if you've read much of my journal, or stuff that (I think) I put on the website, but when people are drinking and it's not a happy thing, I am performing the blues for them. (Also, background, by day/night/any time I'm not working, I'm a professional musician)

Blues is a form of spiritual healing. The bluesman, performer, whatever you want to call them connects to their audience's pain. This is the sad part of a blues song. The bluesman connects and resonates with it, brings it out front, understands it, and empathizes. I become that pain, I visualize it like waves at a certain frequency; like a sustained note.

Then I'll find a dissonance with it. A sense joy through the pain. As I'm connected to the audience, I force out this dissonant joy, happiness, power, whichever, through the discord with the pain. This breaks the pain, like a fever. Go watch a really good blues performance and you'll see what I'm talking about. You will leave the set feeling very awake, very alive; all the stagnant energies that kind of caked themselves around you have been dissipated, and you're now free to connect to your world again.

This isn't limited to music. Blues is a way of life, a way of experiencing... it can be used in just conversation, or even body language. It's almost never a direct thing, because if the audience knows this is what you're trying to do, it never works. It functions on a subconscious level, something empathetically projected between people. The same way you can tell if someone is pissed off, no matter how well they hide it. That same connection is where the whole harmony/dissonance thing occurs.

A lot of times, this is what the customer wants, but they don't know it. I constantly run into people who need it, who say they are just "drawn to me" for some reason or another. I've learned to listen to what people mean as opposed to what they say, pay close attention to the things they don't say, and use my intuition to piece the information together. This is how I determine the role the customer wants me to play.

perhaps I'm just not very tippable. I don't connect with other guys all too well in general, so I don't know how to work the men. The women, I can work, but maybe not so well. Perhaps that's why all the female coworkers I've had have usually averaged better tips than me.

However, I will hold out for the groupies. Hopefully, since this place is a live music venue for jazz/folk type stuff, I'll get to serve THOSE groupies as well and get tips... as well as selling CDs :)

[sarahibiz]

First, I must say that you speak (write) very eloquently.
Though I cannot relate to Blues -- since I know nothing of it.
But I can understand giving your art to other people.
Every time I sell a piece of my art I think about what it means to me.
And it will mean something so different to another person.

I guess I hate to say it, but life is all about roles.
Who we play, who others play for us.
It's pretty freaky when you think about it.

I think I know why people are so drawn to you.
It's your passion for music.
When people feel that passion they want to get close to it.
They hope just by being near it, some of it will rub off.
We all want what we haven't got. lol

Sorry this reply is super short. I'm trapped at work and wonder of wonders I'm being expected to actually be productive.