(no subject)
i've updated like 50 times but my night is just so cool.
we had the surprise (sort of) AFS party for leona
then she came back to my hosue and we went swimming while listening to some music (awesome german music!!!!!!)
we talked some about how shes leaving :( break my heart omg it is going to be so weird without her. :( it is just not right. i'm going to cry. oh goodness. when she leaves i will need to spend lots of time with my friends. this is going to make me so sad. shes my best friend. i don't want to lose my best friend. there is a little piece of my heart just for her. what am i going to do when everyone graduates. it breaks my heart. i'm talking to katy mooney a little about it right now, and now i've started crying. god i love leona (in a friend way) she is such a great friend, she is ALWAYS there for me and listens and I NEED HER I MY LIFE. she makes me all better. i can't imagine a time when i wont have her to call upon to do something with, just to randomly hang out, not even do anything just hang out.
ZzKaterTot23Zz (9:47:17 PM): aww corey, but she will come back right?
she might not. leona is family to me. how am i going to say goodbye to her. goodness i haven't cried since the times of delaney. like actually hard core cried. i only have her for like a week more because i'll be in ASP. i don't want to go to ASP i want to be with her the last week she is here. iw ant to hang out with her as much as i possibly can, i want her to become so sick of me she will want to go hoem lol. that is how much i want to hang out with her. how my heart aches right now.
but anyways i was talking about how wonderful my day has been right. yea. so she came over we hung out listened to music, we were are crazy normal selves. (i'm listening to beautiful disaster and it reminded me of her because of how much she likes this song :( ) this is silly because i feel like its heartbreak all over again, i'm not sexaully attracted or madly in love with leona, but she def has the deepest love of mine i could ever give to a friend. now that i am thinking about it my love for delaney was miscaculated, i loved a dream, not reality. but leona is reality to me, and i do love her. she is a great person. WONDERFUL FRIEND. and it hurts so much to think that she is leaving. oh gosh i've never had to go through this sensation before. i feel like these tears mean a lot more to me then my tears for delaney did. these are tears of loved and returned loved, and deepest sadness for her departing. my tears for delaney i feel were tears of a hurt soul, mean comments said, and hope lost. now that it has come down to 2 weeks i have realized how much i truely charish leona in my life, and how much i don't want to let her go. you don't realize what you have till its gone. i feel like driving to her house and just giving her a hug. she would reassure me and make my tears go away.
oh god i am going to breakdown come graduation. i open my heart to so many people, and i let my self love so easily. i think i need some sleep. i could really use a friend right now. what would one do without friends? i wouldn't exist i know that. life has no compassion or love without friends. friends build my life, they make me who i am. if i am spunky and crazy around you then u know that i cherish u as a person. i just want to give everyone hugs and kisses tomorrow, make sure they know how much they mean to me. i love you guys. i love you so much. i really really do.
we had the surprise (sort of) AFS party for leona
then she came back to my hosue and we went swimming while listening to some music (awesome german music!!!!!!)
we talked some about how shes leaving :( break my heart omg it is going to be so weird without her. :( it is just not right. i'm going to cry. oh goodness. when she leaves i will need to spend lots of time with my friends. this is going to make me so sad. shes my best friend. i don't want to lose my best friend. there is a little piece of my heart just for her. what am i going to do when everyone graduates. it breaks my heart. i'm talking to katy mooney a little about it right now, and now i've started crying. god i love leona (in a friend way) she is such a great friend, she is ALWAYS there for me and listens and I NEED HER I MY LIFE. she makes me all better. i can't imagine a time when i wont have her to call upon to do something with, just to randomly hang out, not even do anything just hang out.
ZzKaterTot23Zz (9:47:17 PM): aww corey, but she will come back right?
she might not. leona is family to me. how am i going to say goodbye to her. goodness i haven't cried since the times of delaney. like actually hard core cried. i only have her for like a week more because i'll be in ASP. i don't want to go to ASP i want to be with her the last week she is here. iw ant to hang out with her as much as i possibly can, i want her to become so sick of me she will want to go hoem lol. that is how much i want to hang out with her. how my heart aches right now.
but anyways i was talking about how wonderful my day has been right. yea. so she came over we hung out listened to music, we were are crazy normal selves. (i'm listening to beautiful disaster and it reminded me of her because of how much she likes this song :( ) this is silly because i feel like its heartbreak all over again, i'm not sexaully attracted or madly in love with leona, but she def has the deepest love of mine i could ever give to a friend. now that i am thinking about it my love for delaney was miscaculated, i loved a dream, not reality. but leona is reality to me, and i do love her. she is a great person. WONDERFUL FRIEND. and it hurts so much to think that she is leaving. oh gosh i've never had to go through this sensation before. i feel like these tears mean a lot more to me then my tears for delaney did. these are tears of loved and returned loved, and deepest sadness for her departing. my tears for delaney i feel were tears of a hurt soul, mean comments said, and hope lost. now that it has come down to 2 weeks i have realized how much i truely charish leona in my life, and how much i don't want to let her go. you don't realize what you have till its gone. i feel like driving to her house and just giving her a hug. she would reassure me and make my tears go away.
oh god i am going to breakdown come graduation. i open my heart to so many people, and i let my self love so easily. i think i need some sleep. i could really use a friend right now. what would one do without friends? i wouldn't exist i know that. life has no compassion or love without friends. friends build my life, they make me who i am. if i am spunky and crazy around you then u know that i cherish u as a person. i just want to give everyone hugs and kisses tomorrow, make sure they know how much they mean to me. i love you guys. i love you so much. i really really do.