Ghosts of our Pasts
The ones that you find hiding in the corners of your mind, the ones that you never think are there, but happen to drift in your mind when you least expect them to. I really try to put a context on everything I've experienced with medical school thus far, but I continue to search for the different nouns and adjectives to adequately describe everything that I've felt and found thus far. I'm not quite sure to really make of it all. I would like to say I've been prepped and prepared for all of this, but it's hardly true.
In fact, I can say that I know less about being a doctor than when I started medical school. It absolutely scares me that the ideas and expectations many of my peers have about school. It almost seems that there is a sense of entitlement to medicine, that because we have decided to become doctors that society and the people around us must give us things, sacrifice things because we chose this path.
It mostly disturbs me that my peers expect certain things, but we work for it, it's not an automatic expectation. It's one that people should be given to us. That's not right though, it's never what we want, it's always what is expected from us. I wish though, I appreciated those little moments that I should have cherished. The times when I had to chill with the kids from Chinatown. The wonderful times i had driving around Los Angeles. The times when time was the only thing I could waste.
Am I a bit regretful? Am I a bit lost when it comes down to understanding the title of doctor? Yeah, I won't lie, i don't know what it takes, however I know what I've sacrificed to be here and I believe that this is where I belong. Despite, what has happened to me and what has happened. I'm going to go to sleep because obviously drinking the bottle of pinot noir by myself is not helping my writing
In fact, I can say that I know less about being a doctor than when I started medical school. It absolutely scares me that the ideas and expectations many of my peers have about school. It almost seems that there is a sense of entitlement to medicine, that because we have decided to become doctors that society and the people around us must give us things, sacrifice things because we chose this path.
It mostly disturbs me that my peers expect certain things, but we work for it, it's not an automatic expectation. It's one that people should be given to us. That's not right though, it's never what we want, it's always what is expected from us. I wish though, I appreciated those little moments that I should have cherished. The times when I had to chill with the kids from Chinatown. The wonderful times i had driving around Los Angeles. The times when time was the only thing I could waste.
Am I a bit regretful? Am I a bit lost when it comes down to understanding the title of doctor? Yeah, I won't lie, i don't know what it takes, however I know what I've sacrificed to be here and I believe that this is where I belong. Despite, what has happened to me and what has happened. I'm going to go to sleep because obviously drinking the bottle of pinot noir by myself is not helping my writing