Day 1: Clarity
Changing yourself, your habits, and your routine are no easy task. However...
I've been a weedhead for quite a few years now. Today, when I thought about the deeper reasons behind why I actually do this, such as not wanting to face/think about reality, to quell boredom, or just to make a movie or show seem "more funny," I realized just how stupid they really are. I'm a young adult with, oh, I'd say a considerable amount of potential. I was reading this book about improving memory and different methods of studying and retaining information, and I got to thinking... I was on seizure medications from when I was 8 till less then a year ago when I was 19. They clouded my thought, made me sedated, but prevented seizures. Somewhere in the last 12 years... or more acurately over that long period of time, I got used to this feeling of a clouded mind. But now I want to know, what AM I capable of? What's it like to think with a totally clear mind? And besides all that i have been eating better and excercising more, so why not just scratch one more vice? The only negative reprecussions I fear from this are biting off more than I can chew at once, but right now I feel good about it. I'll make an effort to post in this journal everyday, to keep track of my feelings and actions and see how much I can achieve with this. The only real goal here is to prove to myself what I should have realized was true a long time ago: I DON'T NEED DRUGS I JUST THINK I DO. If I can get past the urge to fill my lungs with harmful smoke, I think it will become clear that the aforementioned hypothesis is true, and I've been living in a state of disillusionment for longer than I'd like to admit. Each day I'm going to take the free time I spent high and replace it with doing SOMETHING, constructive or not. And if you read all that, you get a gold star. :)
I've been a weedhead for quite a few years now. Today, when I thought about the deeper reasons behind why I actually do this, such as not wanting to face/think about reality, to quell boredom, or just to make a movie or show seem "more funny," I realized just how stupid they really are. I'm a young adult with, oh, I'd say a considerable amount of potential. I was reading this book about improving memory and different methods of studying and retaining information, and I got to thinking... I was on seizure medications from when I was 8 till less then a year ago when I was 19. They clouded my thought, made me sedated, but prevented seizures. Somewhere in the last 12 years... or more acurately over that long period of time, I got used to this feeling of a clouded mind. But now I want to know, what AM I capable of? What's it like to think with a totally clear mind? And besides all that i have been eating better and excercising more, so why not just scratch one more vice? The only negative reprecussions I fear from this are biting off more than I can chew at once, but right now I feel good about it. I'll make an effort to post in this journal everyday, to keep track of my feelings and actions and see how much I can achieve with this. The only real goal here is to prove to myself what I should have realized was true a long time ago: I DON'T NEED DRUGS I JUST THINK I DO. If I can get past the urge to fill my lungs with harmful smoke, I think it will become clear that the aforementioned hypothesis is true, and I've been living in a state of disillusionment for longer than I'd like to admit. Each day I'm going to take the free time I spent high and replace it with doing SOMETHING, constructive or not. And if you read all that, you get a gold star. :)