(no subject)
Walking through an airport with my copy of “Harry Potter and
the Half Blood Prince” made me feel like I was trying harder to fit in than the
kid I saw wearing a Lance Armstrong bracelet and a “Vote for Pedro,” t-shirt.
I finally got around to seeing movies I’ve wanted to see for a long time…like The Pianist (I know…a REALLY long time on that one). I realized that I was completely out of my mind when I put the movie in the DVD player (a movie called “The Pianist” mind you), knowing fully that it was about WWII, and ready to enjoy a war movie, when the first scene Adrian Brody was playing a piano and I go, “Aw, shit. This isn’t going to be one of those artsy movies about a fucking piano, is it?”…
Scrubs is the best show on TV. I just got through the first season on DVD, and I love it more than I did before. I think every actor on the show deserves an Emmy, and I also have a new-found obsession with Sarah Chalke…and yes, I know she was one of two actresses to play Becky Conner on “Roseanne,” but God, she’s so hot.
I don’t care where you are in the world, or how much you’re willing to pay; there’s no greater caffeinated drink than a large Iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. It’s easily the greatest beverage on the planet.
Along that line of thinking, one of the greatest things about being in the south is the Mexican food. I’d kill for decent Mexican food in Boston. Seriously, I’d be willing to trade a weekly lobster or bowl of clam chowder to anyone in the south (JPEC41 - and I know it’d have to be a soy lobster, but still) who would be willing to mail me a burrito from one of those crappy looking Taco shacks that sit on the side of the road, that you know you’re gonna get e-coli poisoning from, but it’s so worth it cuz it’s so damn good. I wonder why they even have McDonald’s or Burger Kings down here. Taco stands on the side of the road are cheaper, fresher (well except for the fact that the majority of employees don’t wear gloves, but honestly, when’s the last time you looked at a Mickey D’s employee and didn’t think, “I guarantee that this kid’s touched his ass, his crotch and his girlfriend lice-infected hair twice all-around since the last time he washed his hands”) and way better than some sweaty-dripping hamburger.
Southerners don’t waste their time with fancy advertisings. Like, the restaurant across the street from our condo is called, “Beef and Ale.” I don’t think you really need to ask for a menu when you go there. There’s also the popular “Steak and Shake,” and everyone’s favorite, “Popeye’s Fried Chicken and Biscuits…” Because when I think muscular sailors who get high off of eating spinach I think…fried chicken and biscuits. (Editor’s note, wouldn’t “Popeye’s House of Venereal Disease and Port-to-Port Polygamy” be more appropriate?)
What southerners DO waste their time on is idiotic pride. Best bumper sticker I saw the whole trip, “Fighting Terrorism since 1861,” with a picture of the Confederate Flag
The place where I stayed was FLOODED with elderly people. I was easily the youngest person there by at least 20 years. And you’ve heard my tirade about old-drivers, so I won’t get into that, but I will say this. I made it my personal mission to crank rap music as loudly as possible out of the rental car. I figure if you’re old you need a little culture lesson. So what’s better than some Mase?
Along those lines, why is every god damn radio station Country? I figured out how people begin to enjoy country music though. You don’t do it on purpose. Everyone begins with the same hatred of it, and then you’re searching through the dials on the radio (desperately trying to avoid the country station) and something off the side of the road distracts you (like the sign at the strip club that says, “Ten Hot Chicks and One Ugly One!”) And the distraction makes you stop playing with the dial and accidentally land on a country station with a song that happens to have a catchy instrumental and you’re bobbing your head not paying attention when one lyric catches your attention. Usually it’s something like, “I was driving my truck down to the shop/ to git’ that sucker fix. Sat my fanny on the side of the road and knocked back a bud light pack-o-six!” And you think to yourself, “Hmm, indeed! I also enjoy the occasional six pack of bud light, while sitting outdoors in a public venue, exposing myself to the possibility of being arrested for violating open container laws and/or public drunkenness.” Then you get BLUDGEONED by the awful chorus that will be stuck in your skull for hours… “I LIKE LOOOOOOSE WOMEN AND TIIIIIIGHT COWBOYS! I LIKE DOGS AND PICK UP TRUCKS! I LIKE LOOOOOOSE WOMEN AND TIIIIGHT COWBOYS AND I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN THE COBBED CORN GET’S-A-STUCK….in my teeth.” (the “in my teeth part his voice gets lower) And then you’re jammed with that in your head, and from then on out you’re forever indebted to George Strait and Uncle Kracker (the Uncle Kracker who’s a country star now; not the former rap/rock star who was Kidrock’s DJ and once sang; “Is it Kracker with a ‘C’? No! Kracker with a ‘K’. Kracker mother fucker all god-damn day!”)
I drove by the Palm Beach Community College one. It amazed me. It was one of the nicest schools I’ve ever seen. This is a COMMUNITY COLLEGE; mind you. The CC’s in Massachusetts all look like former WWII Troop Stationing Facilities. Then I realized who probably goes to Palm Beach Community College; Rich kids whose parents own property in Florida, who just want to fuck off for a few years instead of actually taking higher education seriously. It’s funny that in Massachusetts we punish the CC students by making them take classes at these god-awful broken down buildings to scare them into working hard, getting their grades up and encouraging them to go to real college, while in Florida you’re rewarded for not caring by getting to go to Community College at Club Med. They even had a sweet looking Wings Restaurant across the street. And everyone knows the best part about college is the Wings place. My law school didn’t even have a Wings place near it!
Hands down, best quote of the entire trip; “It’s a pretty good way to get rid of your kids.” I overheard it at the airport and have no clue what the context was. But it entertained me for the entire flight.
Here’s a question to ponder. I saw a guy (straight guy cuz he was holding hands with a girl) in expensive mall in Orlando wearing a Pink Yankees hat. Now, is he so much of a douche that he’d wear a pink Yankees hat because he’s a prima-donna nicely groomed metrosexual from Orlando, or is he so much a douche that he’d wear a pink Yankees hat because he’s a Yankees fan (because every SOX fan knows that the Pink hat is to be worn by the women only)? I guess that’s one of those, “Why is the sky blue?” questions.
“So please hand me the bottle. I think I’m lonely now. And please give me direction. I think the hurt’s set in. And I don’t feel nothing.”
- Matchbox Twenty, “Kody” - an underestimated member of the MB20 family if you ask me.
Well, according to THIS, (if you can read this stupid thing) the Dookies will be coming to Boston in both the 2005-2006 and 2006-2007 seasons. Now the only thing left to figure out is who’s a true enough friend to sleep over at the Boston College box office with me (yes, that means going deep into the belly of the beast) to get tickets when they go on sale.
THIS...in my opinion is the greatest news story of the year so-far. Man, what a way to go.
I’ve decided that if someone were to do a musical montage of the two months I spent studying for the bar, it’d have to have “There Ain’t No Cure for the Summertime Blues,” as the theme song. I can see it now, right around the chorus there’s a shot of me in the basement of a library staring out a 6-inch boxed window at the same telephone pole I looked at for 10-straight hours once, crying into a book and proclaiming that I’d rather be homeless and/or dead than doing what I’m doing right now. And then some guy goes, “I’d like to help you son, but you’re too young to vote.”
Speaking of the bar, I’ve got a newfound dissatisfaction for the people who haven’t taken it. Screw you to all of you who have ever criticized someone for failing the bar or said something along the lines of, “The bar pass rate at this school is abysmal, and anyone who has contributed to it should be ashamed of yourself.” (Bear in mind that this particular “Screw You,” is going out to ME as well, cuz I said exactly this stupidity last November). You have no fucking clue what in the fuck you’re talking about. Until you’ve gone through it you should lay the fuck off and eat shit and die. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy to have to do what I did for two months, and I take back anything I said about anyone who failed over the last year; especially in my position as SBA President. Just because I had a title gave me no ability to have anything remotely intelligent to say about people who took the bar. And I offer this as guidance to anyone who may be reading this because if you say the things I said last year you’re kidding yourself in thinking you have any control over how people will perform on that test.…you shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself for failing the bar, or blaming your school for not preparing you. It’s a beast of a mother fucker that is way too hard to be the way that you’re judged on whether or not you should be allowed into the legal profession. I hope to God that I passed way more because I don’t ever want to have to take the exam again than because I want to be a lawyer. Because honestly, the later reason just isn’t worth it.
The full name of that "Music" thing up there is "Fall Out Boy - Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of this Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued"...fuckin' live journal....and why is the "Rejuvenated" face a smiling guy...the same as a happy face...the "rejuvenated" face should be a picture of Rafiel Palmiero sticking a needle into his arm.
I finally got around to seeing movies I’ve wanted to see for a long time…like The Pianist (I know…a REALLY long time on that one). I realized that I was completely out of my mind when I put the movie in the DVD player (a movie called “The Pianist” mind you), knowing fully that it was about WWII, and ready to enjoy a war movie, when the first scene Adrian Brody was playing a piano and I go, “Aw, shit. This isn’t going to be one of those artsy movies about a fucking piano, is it?”…
Scrubs is the best show on TV. I just got through the first season on DVD, and I love it more than I did before. I think every actor on the show deserves an Emmy, and I also have a new-found obsession with Sarah Chalke…and yes, I know she was one of two actresses to play Becky Conner on “Roseanne,” but God, she’s so hot.
I don’t care where you are in the world, or how much you’re willing to pay; there’s no greater caffeinated drink than a large Iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. It’s easily the greatest beverage on the planet.
Along that line of thinking, one of the greatest things about being in the south is the Mexican food. I’d kill for decent Mexican food in Boston. Seriously, I’d be willing to trade a weekly lobster or bowl of clam chowder to anyone in the south (JPEC41 - and I know it’d have to be a soy lobster, but still) who would be willing to mail me a burrito from one of those crappy looking Taco shacks that sit on the side of the road, that you know you’re gonna get e-coli poisoning from, but it’s so worth it cuz it’s so damn good. I wonder why they even have McDonald’s or Burger Kings down here. Taco stands on the side of the road are cheaper, fresher (well except for the fact that the majority of employees don’t wear gloves, but honestly, when’s the last time you looked at a Mickey D’s employee and didn’t think, “I guarantee that this kid’s touched his ass, his crotch and his girlfriend lice-infected hair twice all-around since the last time he washed his hands”) and way better than some sweaty-dripping hamburger.
Southerners don’t waste their time with fancy advertisings. Like, the restaurant across the street from our condo is called, “Beef and Ale.” I don’t think you really need to ask for a menu when you go there. There’s also the popular “Steak and Shake,” and everyone’s favorite, “Popeye’s Fried Chicken and Biscuits…” Because when I think muscular sailors who get high off of eating spinach I think…fried chicken and biscuits. (Editor’s note, wouldn’t “Popeye’s House of Venereal Disease and Port-to-Port Polygamy” be more appropriate?)
What southerners DO waste their time on is idiotic pride. Best bumper sticker I saw the whole trip, “Fighting Terrorism since 1861,” with a picture of the Confederate Flag
The place where I stayed was FLOODED with elderly people. I was easily the youngest person there by at least 20 years. And you’ve heard my tirade about old-drivers, so I won’t get into that, but I will say this. I made it my personal mission to crank rap music as loudly as possible out of the rental car. I figure if you’re old you need a little culture lesson. So what’s better than some Mase?
Along those lines, why is every god damn radio station Country? I figured out how people begin to enjoy country music though. You don’t do it on purpose. Everyone begins with the same hatred of it, and then you’re searching through the dials on the radio (desperately trying to avoid the country station) and something off the side of the road distracts you (like the sign at the strip club that says, “Ten Hot Chicks and One Ugly One!”) And the distraction makes you stop playing with the dial and accidentally land on a country station with a song that happens to have a catchy instrumental and you’re bobbing your head not paying attention when one lyric catches your attention. Usually it’s something like, “I was driving my truck down to the shop/ to git’ that sucker fix. Sat my fanny on the side of the road and knocked back a bud light pack-o-six!” And you think to yourself, “Hmm, indeed! I also enjoy the occasional six pack of bud light, while sitting outdoors in a public venue, exposing myself to the possibility of being arrested for violating open container laws and/or public drunkenness.” Then you get BLUDGEONED by the awful chorus that will be stuck in your skull for hours… “I LIKE LOOOOOOSE WOMEN AND TIIIIIIGHT COWBOYS! I LIKE DOGS AND PICK UP TRUCKS! I LIKE LOOOOOOSE WOMEN AND TIIIIGHT COWBOYS AND I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN THE COBBED CORN GET’S-A-STUCK….in my teeth.” (the “in my teeth part his voice gets lower) And then you’re jammed with that in your head, and from then on out you’re forever indebted to George Strait and Uncle Kracker (the Uncle Kracker who’s a country star now; not the former rap/rock star who was Kidrock’s DJ and once sang; “Is it Kracker with a ‘C’? No! Kracker with a ‘K’. Kracker mother fucker all god-damn day!”)
I drove by the Palm Beach Community College one. It amazed me. It was one of the nicest schools I’ve ever seen. This is a COMMUNITY COLLEGE; mind you. The CC’s in Massachusetts all look like former WWII Troop Stationing Facilities. Then I realized who probably goes to Palm Beach Community College; Rich kids whose parents own property in Florida, who just want to fuck off for a few years instead of actually taking higher education seriously. It’s funny that in Massachusetts we punish the CC students by making them take classes at these god-awful broken down buildings to scare them into working hard, getting their grades up and encouraging them to go to real college, while in Florida you’re rewarded for not caring by getting to go to Community College at Club Med. They even had a sweet looking Wings Restaurant across the street. And everyone knows the best part about college is the Wings place. My law school didn’t even have a Wings place near it!
Hands down, best quote of the entire trip; “It’s a pretty good way to get rid of your kids.” I overheard it at the airport and have no clue what the context was. But it entertained me for the entire flight.
Here’s a question to ponder. I saw a guy (straight guy cuz he was holding hands with a girl) in expensive mall in Orlando wearing a Pink Yankees hat. Now, is he so much of a douche that he’d wear a pink Yankees hat because he’s a prima-donna nicely groomed metrosexual from Orlando, or is he so much a douche that he’d wear a pink Yankees hat because he’s a Yankees fan (because every SOX fan knows that the Pink hat is to be worn by the women only)? I guess that’s one of those, “Why is the sky blue?” questions.
“So please hand me the bottle. I think I’m lonely now. And please give me direction. I think the hurt’s set in. And I don’t feel nothing.”
- Matchbox Twenty, “Kody” - an underestimated member of the MB20 family if you ask me.
Well, according to THIS, (if you can read this stupid thing) the Dookies will be coming to Boston in both the 2005-2006 and 2006-2007 seasons. Now the only thing left to figure out is who’s a true enough friend to sleep over at the Boston College box office with me (yes, that means going deep into the belly of the beast) to get tickets when they go on sale.
THIS...in my opinion is the greatest news story of the year so-far. Man, what a way to go.
I’ve decided that if someone were to do a musical montage of the two months I spent studying for the bar, it’d have to have “There Ain’t No Cure for the Summertime Blues,” as the theme song. I can see it now, right around the chorus there’s a shot of me in the basement of a library staring out a 6-inch boxed window at the same telephone pole I looked at for 10-straight hours once, crying into a book and proclaiming that I’d rather be homeless and/or dead than doing what I’m doing right now. And then some guy goes, “I’d like to help you son, but you’re too young to vote.”
Speaking of the bar, I’ve got a newfound dissatisfaction for the people who haven’t taken it. Screw you to all of you who have ever criticized someone for failing the bar or said something along the lines of, “The bar pass rate at this school is abysmal, and anyone who has contributed to it should be ashamed of yourself.” (Bear in mind that this particular “Screw You,” is going out to ME as well, cuz I said exactly this stupidity last November). You have no fucking clue what in the fuck you’re talking about. Until you’ve gone through it you should lay the fuck off and eat shit and die. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy to have to do what I did for two months, and I take back anything I said about anyone who failed over the last year; especially in my position as SBA President. Just because I had a title gave me no ability to have anything remotely intelligent to say about people who took the bar. And I offer this as guidance to anyone who may be reading this because if you say the things I said last year you’re kidding yourself in thinking you have any control over how people will perform on that test.…you shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself for failing the bar, or blaming your school for not preparing you. It’s a beast of a mother fucker that is way too hard to be the way that you’re judged on whether or not you should be allowed into the legal profession. I hope to God that I passed way more because I don’t ever want to have to take the exam again than because I want to be a lawyer. Because honestly, the later reason just isn’t worth it.
The full name of that "Music" thing up there is "Fall Out Boy - Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of this Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued"...fuckin' live journal....and why is the "Rejuvenated" face a smiling guy...the same as a happy face...the "rejuvenated" face should be a picture of Rafiel Palmiero sticking a needle into his arm.