hello
Hello LJ, it's been a long time. I keep forgetting how calm and comfortable it is here compared to every other social networking site. This is like someone's living room, while FB is like going to the mall.
So, here's my life lately:
My last job had become unbearable and I was suicidally depressed because of it, so I left the job for a 3 month contract, which is almost over. I'm putting my resume out there and we'll see what happens. I had a while there where I was really worried, but I decided to face a worst case scenario and I'm prepared to go on the road if nothing pans out. In fact, I think it would be a relief.
I've always known that me and the corporate world just don't fit with each other, and I gave it more than a fair shake to be sure. I may end up getting a little booth from CostCo and hitting the festival circuit to sell crafts for gas money and food. I'd be okay with that life.
If I do get a job, I'll stick with it until June, as I'd prefer not to have to leave an unfinished lease to worry about. I should be able to save up about $3000 by then and can get a cheap van and hit the road. I may have a friend joining me. A ridiculously intelligent and talented 19 year old kid who wants to experience the road. Also, we both play a mean guitar so we could busk for more money and do well enough.
I'm still keeping my eyes open for a fitting romantic partner. Hopefully I'll find a woman who is laid back and who, like me, is into a simpler life. I find myself letting a lot of things go and desiring very little. All I really want is a small, comfortable place in a beautiful area with a few close friends. Good conversation, laughter, music, good food, good beer and wine and a little love.
I'm also finding myself increasingly incapable of not being myself and of not speaking my mind. A few folks get ruffled about it because they're not used to it, but I just have no tolerance for bullshit anymore. There were some intense situations last year that really burned me out on dealing with other people's problems for a while.
Dealing with several suicidal and/or self-pitying "poor me" people while trying to maintain my own sanity just ain't working. I just don't do victim enabling and I'm increasingly lacking in sympathy for those who want pity or sympathy more than they want solutions. I understand if a new and intense situation has come and you need an ear and a shoulder. Then I'm filled with genuine compassion and a desire to help. But if one is moping about shit that's months old I just don't care anymore. I've kind of hit my saturation point with that kind of thing.
This is causing me to also burn out on customer service, and that's where most of my employable skills are. So, yeah, time to escape the rat race.
I'm looking for ways to unleash the creativity that has gone dormant in recent years, and am looking into writing more music and doing some art again. I discovered that cross stitch was a great way to occupy my mind when I felt overwhelmed, but now I'm looking to do crafts where the projects are less lengthy. What do you do when you're increasingly mellow yet have ADD? There's a dichotomy. I'd like to relax and do something mellow, but need my fleeting mind to be occupied. This is why I'm on the net so much.
I know that I'm rather done with Phoenix and need a place that is more green and lush. I'm torn between San Diego and Portland. I love the forest and the culture of Portland, but also am averse to the cold and lack of sunlight. San Diego has sunlight and ocean, but is so expensive and, while it has it's fair share of wonderful freaks, it doesn't have that mellow PNW vibe that I like.
Heh, my constant dilemma is always wanting two nearly diametrically opposed things.
So, all in all, I'm somewhat worried about my job prospects, but overall content enough for a while. I hope you are all as well as can be.
So, here's my life lately:
My last job had become unbearable and I was suicidally depressed because of it, so I left the job for a 3 month contract, which is almost over. I'm putting my resume out there and we'll see what happens. I had a while there where I was really worried, but I decided to face a worst case scenario and I'm prepared to go on the road if nothing pans out. In fact, I think it would be a relief.
I've always known that me and the corporate world just don't fit with each other, and I gave it more than a fair shake to be sure. I may end up getting a little booth from CostCo and hitting the festival circuit to sell crafts for gas money and food. I'd be okay with that life.
If I do get a job, I'll stick with it until June, as I'd prefer not to have to leave an unfinished lease to worry about. I should be able to save up about $3000 by then and can get a cheap van and hit the road. I may have a friend joining me. A ridiculously intelligent and talented 19 year old kid who wants to experience the road. Also, we both play a mean guitar so we could busk for more money and do well enough.
I'm still keeping my eyes open for a fitting romantic partner. Hopefully I'll find a woman who is laid back and who, like me, is into a simpler life. I find myself letting a lot of things go and desiring very little. All I really want is a small, comfortable place in a beautiful area with a few close friends. Good conversation, laughter, music, good food, good beer and wine and a little love.
I'm also finding myself increasingly incapable of not being myself and of not speaking my mind. A few folks get ruffled about it because they're not used to it, but I just have no tolerance for bullshit anymore. There were some intense situations last year that really burned me out on dealing with other people's problems for a while.
Dealing with several suicidal and/or self-pitying "poor me" people while trying to maintain my own sanity just ain't working. I just don't do victim enabling and I'm increasingly lacking in sympathy for those who want pity or sympathy more than they want solutions. I understand if a new and intense situation has come and you need an ear and a shoulder. Then I'm filled with genuine compassion and a desire to help. But if one is moping about shit that's months old I just don't care anymore. I've kind of hit my saturation point with that kind of thing.
This is causing me to also burn out on customer service, and that's where most of my employable skills are. So, yeah, time to escape the rat race.
I'm looking for ways to unleash the creativity that has gone dormant in recent years, and am looking into writing more music and doing some art again. I discovered that cross stitch was a great way to occupy my mind when I felt overwhelmed, but now I'm looking to do crafts where the projects are less lengthy. What do you do when you're increasingly mellow yet have ADD? There's a dichotomy. I'd like to relax and do something mellow, but need my fleeting mind to be occupied. This is why I'm on the net so much.
I know that I'm rather done with Phoenix and need a place that is more green and lush. I'm torn between San Diego and Portland. I love the forest and the culture of Portland, but also am averse to the cold and lack of sunlight. San Diego has sunlight and ocean, but is so expensive and, while it has it's fair share of wonderful freaks, it doesn't have that mellow PNW vibe that I like.
Heh, my constant dilemma is always wanting two nearly diametrically opposed things.
So, all in all, I'm somewhat worried about my job prospects, but overall content enough for a while. I hope you are all as well as can be.