Self-discovery sucks.
So, one day, I was randomly told that I bottle my anger up. Then I read an astology book that said I bottle all my emotions up inside. Now, don't get me wrong, I read those mostly for entertainment, and to compare to myself. But then I began to wonder; Do I?
And Genne said she wouldn't know, that it's like I'm hiding a part of myself from her. So, I'm sure you can tell that made me very upset. I was doing these things without even knowing.
My subconscious and I have some talking to do. It makes no sense that this can be going on for this long without my knowledge. And it pisses me off that no one said anything sooner.
But, in the past few days, I know why. People disappoint me. I don't love them any less because of it, but everyone disappoints me. Maybe I expect too much and, therefore, will always be disappointed.
But is it too much to ask that I tell someone about my problems and they actually give a shit, instead of always expecting me to listen to theirs?
I love my friends, every single one of you. More than each of you know. And I know some of you love me too.
But you don't know me. It seems like no one does, not even me. And I hate that, after 16 years of normality, I have to change my whole way of going about things. I hate that I didn't see this before, and needed some creepy little book to tell me the truth. most of all, I hate that I'm so picky and inconsiderate...
{puts on her little facade}
Enough about me. How are you?
And Genne said she wouldn't know, that it's like I'm hiding a part of myself from her. So, I'm sure you can tell that made me very upset. I was doing these things without even knowing.
My subconscious and I have some talking to do. It makes no sense that this can be going on for this long without my knowledge. And it pisses me off that no one said anything sooner.
But, in the past few days, I know why. People disappoint me. I don't love them any less because of it, but everyone disappoints me. Maybe I expect too much and, therefore, will always be disappointed.
But is it too much to ask that I tell someone about my problems and they actually give a shit, instead of always expecting me to listen to theirs?
I love my friends, every single one of you. More than each of you know. And I know some of you love me too.
But you don't know me. It seems like no one does, not even me. And I hate that, after 16 years of normality, I have to change my whole way of going about things. I hate that I didn't see this before, and needed some creepy little book to tell me the truth. most of all, I hate that I'm so picky and inconsiderate...
{puts on her little facade}
Enough about me. How are you?