don't look at me that way...
Title: Valley Christian High School. Chapter Three.
Author: .bennizzle.jizzle.
Pairing: Chester/Rob
Rating: R
Genre: Love and Romance, Drama, Angst
Status: Chaptered, unfinished.
Warnings: Slash.
Disclaimer: None of the following events occurred in actuality, as far as I know.
Note: lol look who’s writing again.
Description: Ear piercing. Lip piercing. Eyebrow piercing. Wild hair. Wild (and not to mention tight) clothes. Bright colors, particularly the rainbows. He didn’t belong. But that didn’t stop him from getting what he wanted; nothing did.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
“And Lord, thank You for blessing our Robert with such impressive intelligence, and I pray that, with Your will, he will go far in life and fulfill his potential in Your name. We also thank You for this …food we are about to eat, and although it’s not perfect, we shall be nourished. Amen.”
Annette began placing the tossed salad onto her plate, successfully concealing her irritation from Mother and Sheryll.
“So, Annette, what are you doing with your life these days?” Sheryll questioned with a hint of condescension.
“Drugs and promiscuous sex, as usual.”
Mother dropped her fork onto her plate and both she and Sheryll turned an angry shade of red. It was purely comical and although I tried to stop it, a fit of laughter forced its way out of me.
“Robert! That is not funny. Annette, how dare you disgrace this table and this meal with such vulgar talk! Kids these days.” Sheryll crossed her arms and gave my mother a glare that clearly showed her disapproval of children behaving in such a way.
“It was a joke,” my sister stated the obvious.
Mother’s embarrassment was palpable and it took all of my self-control not to laugh harder. “Annette, that was highly inappropriate. I went though all this trouble to make this meal, and had to beg you to come to dinner this evening and the thanks I get is your dressing like a witch and disgracing my dinner table and my house. I don’t understand why you can’t just appreciate the things I try to do for you. What have I done to deserve this? Yet another fine meal ruined. Excuse me.” She placed her napkin on her plate and left the room.
Sheryll sneered at Annette. “Just look at what sinners do to their mothers.” She left the room as well.
I continued eating.
“Oh come on, you know she was asking for it.”
“She’s always asking for it; you know that.”
She looked at me surprised. “Please don’t tell me you’re against me too. She’s always starting up with me.”
“And how are you expecting this to end? What are you going to accomplish?” This didn’t sound like me at all. But I was definitely saying it.
“I can’t believe it. I mean, I had known eventually all that private Christian school bullshit would somehow sink in but I never imagined you would turn on me.” Her eyes narrowed. “And don’t you dare lecture me on thinking about my actions and motivations. Whenever you decide to face the truth about yourself, perhaps then you can become some authority on the subject but until then I suggest you keep your holier-than-thou psycho babble to your fucking self,” she spat with venom, knocking over her chair as she left the room.
I kept eating. I was much more comfortable eating alone anyway. That is, until the yelling started.
“Why are you yelling at me?! RESPECT thy mother!”
“Because it’s the only way you’ll LISTEN to me! I’m trying to fucking apologize!”
“Don’t curse at your mother in her house!” mumbled prayers were heard.
“STAY OUT OF THIS!! Can’t you mind your own business for once?!”
“Don’t speak to your aunt that way. You need to respect your elders.”
“Why is quoting the Bible at me so much more important than fixing our relationship?!”
“There’s nothing you can do to fix this.”
“GO AWAY!!”
“She’s a sinner, Laura. She is beyond forgiveness and it’s time that you severe ties with her.”
“Shut up. Mom, don’t let her talk like that.”
“Laura, think of Robert. Sweet, innocent Robert. Don’t let this satan-worshipper poison his mind!”
“Mom? Mom!! You can’t be seriously listening to her! Come on.”
There was a pause.
“Annette, I’d like you to leave.”
I heard the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut just as a tear fell into my spaghetti.
+~+
“Hey dude, are you alright?” Chester’s voice brought me back to reality.
I dragged my tired eyes to look up at the front of the classroom. “Who’s that?” I asked, confused as to why this 30-something year old guy was standing in front of our English class.
“Whoa. You truly are out of it. That’s our substitute teacher, Mr. Ruiz. He’s been standing up there for a good 10 minutes looking for the attendance sheet.” He laughed a little, then turned serious. “What’s up with you? You seem a bit off this week.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And how would you know whether or not this is ‘off’? You barely met me last week,” I spat without thinking.
He rolled his eyes, not affected by my little outburst. “If you don’t want to say, then that’s fine. But don’t lie.” He turned and looked back at the teacher. I didn’t like the way his gaze lingered. I didn’t like the way his lips curved just the slightest bit. It seemed the rumors were indeed true.
Chester was a homosexual. And he was attracted to Mr. Ruiz.
It made my stomach turn.
+~+
It wasn’t until 2 weeks after the incident that Annette opened the door to her apartment to speak to me. Unfortunately all she had to say was, “Stop stalking me,” before she attempted to close the door back, but I stopped it with my foot.
After she realized I wasn’t about to leave, she asked icily, “What do you want, Robert?” Emphasis on the name she never called me.
“I want to apologize,” I said plainly, trying to look into her eyes.
“Well you’re not clearing your conscience here. Why don’t you just go pray somewhere?” She attempted to shove the door closed again, but I held it open.
“Get real, Annie. This isn’t about my conscience and you know that.”
She looked me over as if she was seeing me for the first time in years. Then she let go over the door and disappeared into the depths of her place. I followed, shutting the door behind me.
She stopped in the doorway to her bedroom. There were no lights on, just a single candle lit at the opposite end of the room from her bed. I hugged her and kissed the top of her forehead.
“I’m so, so sorry Annie. You know you’re all I have.”
When I released her she sat curled up at the head of her bed. I went about lighting a few of the other candles in the room. I hated being with Annette in the dark, because I could never tell what she was thinking.
I laid down at the foot of the bed and waited in silence.
“You talk,” she said after a while.
“She came into my room the day afterwards. Said all she wanted was to protect me.”
“Not about her.” My sister cut me off.
“There’s this guy at school.” I stopped, not sure why I brought him up.
Five minutes of silence went by and I wondered if she had fallen asleep. I glanced at her. She waited.
With a sigh, I went on. “He’s new. Not your average Valley Christian kid. If you cut him, he’d bleed tattoos, piercings, and rainbows. Everyone hates him, but I guess it’s mostly because people are afraid of what they don’t understand.” I paused, rolling the thought over in my head.
“Are you afraid of him?” She asked quietly.
“No,” I responded just as quietly. “And that’s what scares me.” I suddenly didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “He’s in my English and math classes. He’s not stupid or retarded or a bad guy like everyone says. But he is gay.” I silently asked myself how that was relative to anything. “He has a crush on our English sub. And we’re doing a project. We have to get in pairs and agree on a song that tells a story, and tell its story in an oral presentation to the class. Easy A, if you have imagination. It’s due two weeks from yesterday. I’m working with him. I’m thinking we might have trouble agreeing on a song though; he doesn’t seem like much of an Anberlin fan.” I paused and looked at her. We both knew that I had strayed from the point. “There’s rumors that he’s having sexual relations with a bunch of guys around school. I kind of believe it, but every time I talk to him I start to doubt that he’s that kinda guy. He’s actually pretty cool. Very funny. He reminds me of you.”
“Sarcastic, bitter and jaded?”
I blinked. “Actually, yes.”
She laughed for a minute, then smiled at me. “Good. You need more people like me in your life.”
“On Friday he’s coming over after school so that we can discuss it.”
Her smile dissipated. “To your house?”
“Yea. I know, but what am I supposed to do? Go to his house? Which do you think she would prefer?”
“She’d prefer people like him not exist, let alone associate with her angel son. You know what’s going to happen, Robbie.”
“I don’t have any other options. If I told her we were meeting at a coffee shop, she would demand he come to the house so they could meet.” I sighed.
“Best of luck to you. If she won’t allow her own firstborn in the house, she’s not gonna like rainbow rebel boy.”
Anger bubbled in my stomach. “She told me she was just trying to protect me. I calmly told her that shoving the person she was supposed to love unconditionally out of our lives was not protection. It was weakness and she should be ashamed of herself for allowing a stupid joke to completely cut you out.”
“I can’t believe she let that wench do that to me. She’s my mother.”
“She’s lost. When she finds her way, she will come to you and apologize. A real apology for allowing all the things she was supposed to protect us from to happen.”
She paused. “Work sucks.”
I nodded and waited for her to go on.
Five minutes of silence passed and I knew she was asleep. I blew out all the candles and went about her apartment, finding and getting rid of all of the blades I found. I found the last one in the cabinet next to her refrigerator, and behind it there was a CD case with a post-it note attached to it. “When will you stop caring, Robbie?” was all it said. The CD was HIM’s “Greatest Lovesongs vol. 666”. I took it with me.
+~+
“What a beautiful Thursday afternoon!” Mike exclaimed as we escaped school for the day.
Donna smiled. “I suppose. It would be better if it were Friday, though.”
I silently agreed as we made our way to the student parking lot.
“Mike… there’s someone napping on your car,” Donna said hesitantly.
There was indeed a person reclined on the back of Mike’s dark blue Honda Civic. He was a pale guy, probably very skinny, although it was hard to tell underneath those overly baggy clothes. The spikes on his collar and bracelets glinted in the sun. He was unshaven and looked a bit dirty and very tired.
“Brad?” Mike asked, confused.
The boy sat up and smiled nonchalantly, “Hey, cuz. Sup?”
So this was Mr. Rebel. He didn’t seem that much worse than Chester… and there were no rainbows.
“Brad?” we heard from behind us. I turned to see Chester standing there looking like he was seeing a ghost.
“Chaz…?”
Brad slid of the car and they hugged. Ten seconds... fifteen seconds… twenty seconds… twenty-five seconds…
I heard Chester mumble something about having missed him.
…thirty seconds…
I decided I didn’t like this Brad.
…thirty-five seconds…
I didn’t like Brad at all.
+
>>>>
Author: .bennizzle.jizzle.
Pairing: Chester/Rob
Rating: R
Genre: Love and Romance, Drama, Angst
Status: Chaptered, unfinished.
Warnings: Slash.
Disclaimer: None of the following events occurred in actuality, as far as I know.
Note: lol look who’s writing again.
Description: Ear piercing. Lip piercing. Eyebrow piercing. Wild hair. Wild (and not to mention tight) clothes. Bright colors, particularly the rainbows. He didn’t belong. But that didn’t stop him from getting what he wanted; nothing did.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
“And Lord, thank You for blessing our Robert with such impressive intelligence, and I pray that, with Your will, he will go far in life and fulfill his potential in Your name. We also thank You for this …food we are about to eat, and although it’s not perfect, we shall be nourished. Amen.”
Annette began placing the tossed salad onto her plate, successfully concealing her irritation from Mother and Sheryll.
“So, Annette, what are you doing with your life these days?” Sheryll questioned with a hint of condescension.
“Drugs and promiscuous sex, as usual.”
Mother dropped her fork onto her plate and both she and Sheryll turned an angry shade of red. It was purely comical and although I tried to stop it, a fit of laughter forced its way out of me.
“Robert! That is not funny. Annette, how dare you disgrace this table and this meal with such vulgar talk! Kids these days.” Sheryll crossed her arms and gave my mother a glare that clearly showed her disapproval of children behaving in such a way.
“It was a joke,” my sister stated the obvious.
Mother’s embarrassment was palpable and it took all of my self-control not to laugh harder. “Annette, that was highly inappropriate. I went though all this trouble to make this meal, and had to beg you to come to dinner this evening and the thanks I get is your dressing like a witch and disgracing my dinner table and my house. I don’t understand why you can’t just appreciate the things I try to do for you. What have I done to deserve this? Yet another fine meal ruined. Excuse me.” She placed her napkin on her plate and left the room.
Sheryll sneered at Annette. “Just look at what sinners do to their mothers.” She left the room as well.
I continued eating.
“Oh come on, you know she was asking for it.”
“She’s always asking for it; you know that.”
She looked at me surprised. “Please don’t tell me you’re against me too. She’s always starting up with me.”
“And how are you expecting this to end? What are you going to accomplish?” This didn’t sound like me at all. But I was definitely saying it.
“I can’t believe it. I mean, I had known eventually all that private Christian school bullshit would somehow sink in but I never imagined you would turn on me.” Her eyes narrowed. “And don’t you dare lecture me on thinking about my actions and motivations. Whenever you decide to face the truth about yourself, perhaps then you can become some authority on the subject but until then I suggest you keep your holier-than-thou psycho babble to your fucking self,” she spat with venom, knocking over her chair as she left the room.
I kept eating. I was much more comfortable eating alone anyway. That is, until the yelling started.
“Why are you yelling at me?! RESPECT thy mother!”
“Because it’s the only way you’ll LISTEN to me! I’m trying to fucking apologize!”
“Don’t curse at your mother in her house!” mumbled prayers were heard.
“STAY OUT OF THIS!! Can’t you mind your own business for once?!”
“Don’t speak to your aunt that way. You need to respect your elders.”
“Why is quoting the Bible at me so much more important than fixing our relationship?!”
“There’s nothing you can do to fix this.”
“GO AWAY!!”
“She’s a sinner, Laura. She is beyond forgiveness and it’s time that you severe ties with her.”
“Shut up. Mom, don’t let her talk like that.”
“Laura, think of Robert. Sweet, innocent Robert. Don’t let this satan-worshipper poison his mind!”
“Mom? Mom!! You can’t be seriously listening to her! Come on.”
There was a pause.
“Annette, I’d like you to leave.”
I heard the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut just as a tear fell into my spaghetti.
+~+
“Hey dude, are you alright?” Chester’s voice brought me back to reality.
I dragged my tired eyes to look up at the front of the classroom. “Who’s that?” I asked, confused as to why this 30-something year old guy was standing in front of our English class.
“Whoa. You truly are out of it. That’s our substitute teacher, Mr. Ruiz. He’s been standing up there for a good 10 minutes looking for the attendance sheet.” He laughed a little, then turned serious. “What’s up with you? You seem a bit off this week.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And how would you know whether or not this is ‘off’? You barely met me last week,” I spat without thinking.
He rolled his eyes, not affected by my little outburst. “If you don’t want to say, then that’s fine. But don’t lie.” He turned and looked back at the teacher. I didn’t like the way his gaze lingered. I didn’t like the way his lips curved just the slightest bit. It seemed the rumors were indeed true.
Chester was a homosexual. And he was attracted to Mr. Ruiz.
It made my stomach turn.
+~+
It wasn’t until 2 weeks after the incident that Annette opened the door to her apartment to speak to me. Unfortunately all she had to say was, “Stop stalking me,” before she attempted to close the door back, but I stopped it with my foot.
After she realized I wasn’t about to leave, she asked icily, “What do you want, Robert?” Emphasis on the name she never called me.
“I want to apologize,” I said plainly, trying to look into her eyes.
“Well you’re not clearing your conscience here. Why don’t you just go pray somewhere?” She attempted to shove the door closed again, but I held it open.
“Get real, Annie. This isn’t about my conscience and you know that.”
She looked me over as if she was seeing me for the first time in years. Then she let go over the door and disappeared into the depths of her place. I followed, shutting the door behind me.
She stopped in the doorway to her bedroom. There were no lights on, just a single candle lit at the opposite end of the room from her bed. I hugged her and kissed the top of her forehead.
“I’m so, so sorry Annie. You know you’re all I have.”
When I released her she sat curled up at the head of her bed. I went about lighting a few of the other candles in the room. I hated being with Annette in the dark, because I could never tell what she was thinking.
I laid down at the foot of the bed and waited in silence.
“You talk,” she said after a while.
“She came into my room the day afterwards. Said all she wanted was to protect me.”
“Not about her.” My sister cut me off.
“There’s this guy at school.” I stopped, not sure why I brought him up.
Five minutes of silence went by and I wondered if she had fallen asleep. I glanced at her. She waited.
With a sigh, I went on. “He’s new. Not your average Valley Christian kid. If you cut him, he’d bleed tattoos, piercings, and rainbows. Everyone hates him, but I guess it’s mostly because people are afraid of what they don’t understand.” I paused, rolling the thought over in my head.
“Are you afraid of him?” She asked quietly.
“No,” I responded just as quietly. “And that’s what scares me.” I suddenly didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “He’s in my English and math classes. He’s not stupid or retarded or a bad guy like everyone says. But he is gay.” I silently asked myself how that was relative to anything. “He has a crush on our English sub. And we’re doing a project. We have to get in pairs and agree on a song that tells a story, and tell its story in an oral presentation to the class. Easy A, if you have imagination. It’s due two weeks from yesterday. I’m working with him. I’m thinking we might have trouble agreeing on a song though; he doesn’t seem like much of an Anberlin fan.” I paused and looked at her. We both knew that I had strayed from the point. “There’s rumors that he’s having sexual relations with a bunch of guys around school. I kind of believe it, but every time I talk to him I start to doubt that he’s that kinda guy. He’s actually pretty cool. Very funny. He reminds me of you.”
“Sarcastic, bitter and jaded?”
I blinked. “Actually, yes.”
She laughed for a minute, then smiled at me. “Good. You need more people like me in your life.”
“On Friday he’s coming over after school so that we can discuss it.”
Her smile dissipated. “To your house?”
“Yea. I know, but what am I supposed to do? Go to his house? Which do you think she would prefer?”
“She’d prefer people like him not exist, let alone associate with her angel son. You know what’s going to happen, Robbie.”
“I don’t have any other options. If I told her we were meeting at a coffee shop, she would demand he come to the house so they could meet.” I sighed.
“Best of luck to you. If she won’t allow her own firstborn in the house, she’s not gonna like rainbow rebel boy.”
Anger bubbled in my stomach. “She told me she was just trying to protect me. I calmly told her that shoving the person she was supposed to love unconditionally out of our lives was not protection. It was weakness and she should be ashamed of herself for allowing a stupid joke to completely cut you out.”
“I can’t believe she let that wench do that to me. She’s my mother.”
“She’s lost. When she finds her way, she will come to you and apologize. A real apology for allowing all the things she was supposed to protect us from to happen.”
She paused. “Work sucks.”
I nodded and waited for her to go on.
Five minutes of silence passed and I knew she was asleep. I blew out all the candles and went about her apartment, finding and getting rid of all of the blades I found. I found the last one in the cabinet next to her refrigerator, and behind it there was a CD case with a post-it note attached to it. “When will you stop caring, Robbie?” was all it said. The CD was HIM’s “Greatest Lovesongs vol. 666”. I took it with me.
+~+
“What a beautiful Thursday afternoon!” Mike exclaimed as we escaped school for the day.
Donna smiled. “I suppose. It would be better if it were Friday, though.”
I silently agreed as we made our way to the student parking lot.
“Mike… there’s someone napping on your car,” Donna said hesitantly.
There was indeed a person reclined on the back of Mike’s dark blue Honda Civic. He was a pale guy, probably very skinny, although it was hard to tell underneath those overly baggy clothes. The spikes on his collar and bracelets glinted in the sun. He was unshaven and looked a bit dirty and very tired.
“Brad?” Mike asked, confused.
The boy sat up and smiled nonchalantly, “Hey, cuz. Sup?”
So this was Mr. Rebel. He didn’t seem that much worse than Chester… and there were no rainbows.
“Brad?” we heard from behind us. I turned to see Chester standing there looking like he was seeing a ghost.
“Chaz…?”
Brad slid of the car and they hugged. Ten seconds... fifteen seconds… twenty seconds… twenty-five seconds…
I heard Chester mumble something about having missed him.
…thirty seconds…
I decided I didn’t like this Brad.
…thirty-five seconds…
I didn’t like Brad at all.
+
>>>>