guhhhh.
If I had the money, I would pay NASA to send Charles K. Johnson into orbit. And leave him there. Why? Because Charles K. Johnson is the president of the Flat Earth Society, whose six, possibly seven members believe that the globe... well, isn't. As hinted by their enigmatic monicker, the Flat Earth Society are labouring under the misapprehension that the world is coin-shaped. And they're not even Discworld fans. Unsurprisingly, they're Christians, and Johnson has the following things to say in defence of his position:
"The facts are simple - the Earth is flat."
Sure, Charles. That's why you can see the entire world from any point that's high enough. I mean, I can't possibly disagree with that kind of hard scientific logic. Oh wait, I am.
"The Space Shuttle is a joke. You can't orbit a flat earth."
Just as well it's round, then, or they'd be fucked.
He has more to say about the space shuttle:
"They moved it across the field, and it almost fell apart. All those little side pieces are on with epoxy, and half fell off!"
Space Shuttles being flimsy pieces of crap? That MUST mean the world's flat!
"The known, inhabited world is flat. Just as a guess, I'd say that the dome of heaven is about 4,000 miles away, and the stars are about as far as San Francisco is from Boston."
Holy shit, the sun must be pretty small, then. But even you wouldn't believe something like that, would you?
"The sun and moon are only about 32 miles in diameter. They circle above the earth in the vicinity of the equator, and their apparent rising and setting are tricks of perspective."
Oh, you would.
"The whole point of the Copernican theory is to get rid of Jesus by saying there is no up and no down. The spinning ball thing just makes the whole Bible a big joke."
Yes, and we all know the contents of an allegorical book that's 2000 years old are irrefutable, wheras the past few centuries' worth of actual specific recorded human experience, that's just superstitious nonsense. It'd be terrible if we got rid of Jesus, because then nobody else would believe your insane warblings and you wouldn't really have anything to do with your ample spare time anymore.
"Moses was a flat-earther. The Flat Earth Society was founded in 1492 B.C., when Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt and gave them the Ten Commandments at Mount Sinai."
If this is true, it probably stemmed from the fact that it was 1492 B.C, a time when the idea of the wheel was still considered pretty "out there". And as Moses stood on Mount Sinai, I'm sure he couldn't help but notice that, as he looked out towards the horizon, it seemed strangely... round.
"It's the Church of England that's taught that the world is a ball. George Washington, on the other hand, was a flat-earther. He broke with England to get away from those superstitions."
Yeah, the whole economic/political independence thing was just a happy side effect of ridding himself of all those ridiculous ideas about gravity.
"The facts are simple - the Earth is flat."
Sure, Charles. That's why you can see the entire world from any point that's high enough. I mean, I can't possibly disagree with that kind of hard scientific logic. Oh wait, I am.
"The Space Shuttle is a joke. You can't orbit a flat earth."
Just as well it's round, then, or they'd be fucked.
He has more to say about the space shuttle:
"They moved it across the field, and it almost fell apart. All those little side pieces are on with epoxy, and half fell off!"
Space Shuttles being flimsy pieces of crap? That MUST mean the world's flat!
"The known, inhabited world is flat. Just as a guess, I'd say that the dome of heaven is about 4,000 miles away, and the stars are about as far as San Francisco is from Boston."
Holy shit, the sun must be pretty small, then. But even you wouldn't believe something like that, would you?
"The sun and moon are only about 32 miles in diameter. They circle above the earth in the vicinity of the equator, and their apparent rising and setting are tricks of perspective."
Oh, you would.
"The whole point of the Copernican theory is to get rid of Jesus by saying there is no up and no down. The spinning ball thing just makes the whole Bible a big joke."
Yes, and we all know the contents of an allegorical book that's 2000 years old are irrefutable, wheras the past few centuries' worth of actual specific recorded human experience, that's just superstitious nonsense. It'd be terrible if we got rid of Jesus, because then nobody else would believe your insane warblings and you wouldn't really have anything to do with your ample spare time anymore.
"Moses was a flat-earther. The Flat Earth Society was founded in 1492 B.C., when Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt and gave them the Ten Commandments at Mount Sinai."
If this is true, it probably stemmed from the fact that it was 1492 B.C, a time when the idea of the wheel was still considered pretty "out there". And as Moses stood on Mount Sinai, I'm sure he couldn't help but notice that, as he looked out towards the horizon, it seemed strangely... round.
"It's the Church of England that's taught that the world is a ball. George Washington, on the other hand, was a flat-earther. He broke with England to get away from those superstitions."
Yeah, the whole economic/political independence thing was just a happy side effect of ridding himself of all those ridiculous ideas about gravity.