[For Ianto]
Jane had taken to allowing Lydia to play in the playground as a matter of routine. The activities were far more invigorating than Jane could provide and there was the presence of other children nearby. She, herself, could take a book and rest it in her lap to allow her mind to be improved while Lydia was a safe distance away. Today, Jane could not focus on the words, though her gaze was focused on a point in the mid-distance. No matter what she attempted, her focus would often stray back to thoughts unspoken and ones that she wished to repress.
It was such a silly matter and an impossible one, besides, and she did simply not know how to make the feelings disappear. She flipped the page of her book though she had not finished reading the page before and attempted once more to focus.
It did not help. She found herself looking up and staring at Lydia, reminded of the way that he held her so easily and...oh! Jane found herself incapable of stopping such lines of thought. Her cheeks flushed an unhealthy pink and she wished that she could suppress her emotions as she had once a time ago, when she was still a younger woman.
It was such a silly matter and an impossible one, besides, and she did simply not know how to make the feelings disappear. She flipped the page of her book though she had not finished reading the page before and attempted once more to focus.
It did not help. She found herself looking up and staring at Lydia, reminded of the way that he held her so easily and...oh! Jane found herself incapable of stopping such lines of thought. Her cheeks flushed an unhealthy pink and she wished that she could suppress her emotions as she had once a time ago, when she was still a younger woman.