LONG AND PISSED OFF...a fare warning before you dive in reading.
I've decided that I have been fighting the wrong battle.
I have been fighting against one man, personifying all my hatred onto him. It's not all Dubya. It's not all conservatives.
"Conservatism is sometimes a symptom of sterility. Those who have nothing in them that can grow and develop must cling to what they have in beliefs, ideas and possessions. The sterile radical, too, is basically conservative. He is afraid to let go of the ideas and beliefs he picked up in his youth lest his life be seen as empty and wasted."
- Eric Hoffer
"All conservatism is based upon the idea that if you leave things alone you leave them as they are. But you do not. If you leave a thing alone you leave it to a torrent of change."
-G.K. Chesterson
However, Liberals can be NO BETTER.
"Liberals seem to assume that, if you don't believe in their particular political solutions, then you don't really care about the people that they claim to want to help" -Thomas Sowell
"Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side"
BUSH had a strong state of the Union Address, but he said he wanted to improve the environment, but how can he do that if he wants to expand industrial production? how can you not limit freedom and fight for it, yet still impose the Patriot Act. Yet still he seems fearless, which I think a majority of Americans believe they need.
I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY FIGHT IS WITH MYSELF AND MY DISASSOCIATION WITH THE HUMAN RACE. WE ARE WEAK, WE ARE SNIVELING, WE WANT THINGS DONE FOR US W/O OUR EFFORT.
I DONT BACK UP WHAT I BELIEVE WITH ACTION. ACTION IS ALL THAT COUNTS. YOU CAN SAY THE WORLD,BUT IF YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING, IT IS POINTLESS.
I have been persecuting people for their own beliefs (Katie Daly, this means YOU. I have bashed your Conservatism for too long, while only justifying my own beliefs with anger and resentment. What kind of person does that make me? How can we have a discussion when I don't listen? I have tried to hard to designate myself in a certain category (like political or religious people do) and that has lead me to be associated with values I don't agree with.
Now for the stuff that is really on my mind. This is the last bitter one I swear. But I have to get it off my chest. Fair warning, some of you may take huge amounts of offense to this. But I wrote it, you got this far and willingly read my journal, so that's how it stands.
My Biggest battle is with God.
Dear God,
whether you exist or not. I HATE YOU. I hate your oppressive people that make me feel worse for questioning your existence and believing in myself rather than the conformists. I hate how people view me as less of a person and somehow dirtier and less human than them because they believe in you. I HATE YOU. I hate how they can repent for their sins, yet I get to live with mine and choose to do so. I HATE YOU. I hate how the concept of you creeps into all aspects of my life. I feel ou are like a virus, or a flood, and suffocating at that. I HATE YOU. I'm tired of fighting you, your minions, your lies. I'm just really tired of it all. I'm tired of how rotten you make my world. I'm sick of everyone doing stuff to praise you and doing things in your name, as if it somehow justifies it or makes it better. I'm SICK of people telling me that this life is not worth living for and that the 'next one' is, because I've been haunted to believe parts of that and it's tainted my own experience here on Earth. I HATE how Christians pursue me with 'love' and are such nice human beings, but then jump me with biblical quotes, statements, and bombard me with their beliefs.
have I told someone "Don't believe in God. He's ridiculous? It's crap. Your life is worthless and I pity you for believing that you have a soul and some creature must be made up to make you sleep at night and feel important."? (okay besides just now) Damn You I want to tell them that all the time. But i keep it in, I take it with a grain of salt, i grind my teeth, and let them go on their way spouting their beliefs at me.
IF YOU ARE REAL. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU FOR ALL YOU ARE. ALL YOU WILL BE.
However I believe YOU AREN'T REAL. And I HATE THE IDEA OF YOU FOR ALL THE BS I'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH FOR THE BIGGEST FRAUD HUMANITY HAS EVER KNOWN
I can't rant anymore. I've gotten it off my chest, and I cannot feel anymore rotten then right now.
I have been fighting against one man, personifying all my hatred onto him. It's not all Dubya. It's not all conservatives.
"Conservatism is sometimes a symptom of sterility. Those who have nothing in them that can grow and develop must cling to what they have in beliefs, ideas and possessions. The sterile radical, too, is basically conservative. He is afraid to let go of the ideas and beliefs he picked up in his youth lest his life be seen as empty and wasted."
- Eric Hoffer
"All conservatism is based upon the idea that if you leave things alone you leave them as they are. But you do not. If you leave a thing alone you leave it to a torrent of change."
-G.K. Chesterson
However, Liberals can be NO BETTER.
"Liberals seem to assume that, if you don't believe in their particular political solutions, then you don't really care about the people that they claim to want to help" -Thomas Sowell
"Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side"
BUSH had a strong state of the Union Address, but he said he wanted to improve the environment, but how can he do that if he wants to expand industrial production? how can you not limit freedom and fight for it, yet still impose the Patriot Act. Yet still he seems fearless, which I think a majority of Americans believe they need.
I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY FIGHT IS WITH MYSELF AND MY DISASSOCIATION WITH THE HUMAN RACE. WE ARE WEAK, WE ARE SNIVELING, WE WANT THINGS DONE FOR US W/O OUR EFFORT.
I DONT BACK UP WHAT I BELIEVE WITH ACTION. ACTION IS ALL THAT COUNTS. YOU CAN SAY THE WORLD,BUT IF YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING, IT IS POINTLESS.
I have been persecuting people for their own beliefs (Katie Daly, this means YOU. I have bashed your Conservatism for too long, while only justifying my own beliefs with anger and resentment. What kind of person does that make me? How can we have a discussion when I don't listen? I have tried to hard to designate myself in a certain category (like political or religious people do) and that has lead me to be associated with values I don't agree with.
Now for the stuff that is really on my mind. This is the last bitter one I swear. But I have to get it off my chest. Fair warning, some of you may take huge amounts of offense to this. But I wrote it, you got this far and willingly read my journal, so that's how it stands.
My Biggest battle is with God.
Dear God,
whether you exist or not. I HATE YOU. I hate your oppressive people that make me feel worse for questioning your existence and believing in myself rather than the conformists. I hate how people view me as less of a person and somehow dirtier and less human than them because they believe in you. I HATE YOU. I hate how they can repent for their sins, yet I get to live with mine and choose to do so. I HATE YOU. I hate how the concept of you creeps into all aspects of my life. I feel ou are like a virus, or a flood, and suffocating at that. I HATE YOU. I'm tired of fighting you, your minions, your lies. I'm just really tired of it all. I'm tired of how rotten you make my world. I'm sick of everyone doing stuff to praise you and doing things in your name, as if it somehow justifies it or makes it better. I'm SICK of people telling me that this life is not worth living for and that the 'next one' is, because I've been haunted to believe parts of that and it's tainted my own experience here on Earth. I HATE how Christians pursue me with 'love' and are such nice human beings, but then jump me with biblical quotes, statements, and bombard me with their beliefs.
have I told someone "Don't believe in God. He's ridiculous? It's crap. Your life is worthless and I pity you for believing that you have a soul and some creature must be made up to make you sleep at night and feel important."? (okay besides just now) Damn You I want to tell them that all the time. But i keep it in, I take it with a grain of salt, i grind my teeth, and let them go on their way spouting their beliefs at me.
IF YOU ARE REAL. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU FOR ALL YOU ARE. ALL YOU WILL BE.
However I believe YOU AREN'T REAL. And I HATE THE IDEA OF YOU FOR ALL THE BS I'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH FOR THE BIGGEST FRAUD HUMANITY HAS EVER KNOWN
I can't rant anymore. I've gotten it off my chest, and I cannot feel anymore rotten then right now.