(no subject)
It's official now. Although I don't know what I'll be doing after graduation in December, at least I knew where I'll be: a (very) small apartment in Minneapolis with Willie while she starts law school in the fall. To be honest, Minneapolis looks like a good place for me to do just about anything except study archeology...if archeology is the way to go.
Hm. Since she and I drove out to eliminate her final alternative (UC Boulder) last week and this week she has extra hours, I've had a lot of time to lower my blood pressure (even more, it's naturally low already; my AP Bio teacher joked I was a zombie) and think think think. A big part of me feels like I've squandered everything that I've been given. By (almost) all standards, I've had it really lucky.
1. Stable family.
2. Economic soundness.
3. Great educational opportunities.
4. Etc etc.
The only ways I've been screwed over are with things going on inside my head - depression, anxiety and ADD, the former mostly gone, the second just a missed dose away and the latter...still mostly undealt with.
But that's not what really concerns me here. It's that my family has put thousands of dollars into my college education, and what do I seem to be coming out of it with?
An extra semester of expense, necessary supplementary classes and fees, tons of paperwork, a depressing GPA (approx. C+/B-...for now) and a nearly blank resume of extracurriculars. On top of it, I apparently have a reputation among many of my peers as one of the most irresponsible people they know. Unsurprising really, considering the number of times I've backed out of things. Classes, dinners, productions, projects, columns...no wonder I'm distrusted regarding such things. At least people can keep a secret with me...they know I'll forget about it inside a week!
I'm really working on this, I really am. But it feels so pointless now with college nearly over for me; it's not like I can build a resume in six months from being 1 of 4 co-leaders of Rocky Horror and writer of a half-dozen or so irregular columns for 2 student newspapers. Nothing there really for a guy who wants to be a badass archeologist or journalist.
On the other hand, Lois & Clark is awesome, just so you know.
Hm. Since she and I drove out to eliminate her final alternative (UC Boulder) last week and this week she has extra hours, I've had a lot of time to lower my blood pressure (even more, it's naturally low already; my AP Bio teacher joked I was a zombie) and think think think. A big part of me feels like I've squandered everything that I've been given. By (almost) all standards, I've had it really lucky.
1. Stable family.
2. Economic soundness.
3. Great educational opportunities.
4. Etc etc.
The only ways I've been screwed over are with things going on inside my head - depression, anxiety and ADD, the former mostly gone, the second just a missed dose away and the latter...still mostly undealt with.
But that's not what really concerns me here. It's that my family has put thousands of dollars into my college education, and what do I seem to be coming out of it with?
An extra semester of expense, necessary supplementary classes and fees, tons of paperwork, a depressing GPA (approx. C+/B-...for now) and a nearly blank resume of extracurriculars. On top of it, I apparently have a reputation among many of my peers as one of the most irresponsible people they know. Unsurprising really, considering the number of times I've backed out of things. Classes, dinners, productions, projects, columns...no wonder I'm distrusted regarding such things. At least people can keep a secret with me...they know I'll forget about it inside a week!
I'm really working on this, I really am. But it feels so pointless now with college nearly over for me; it's not like I can build a resume in six months from being 1 of 4 co-leaders of Rocky Horror and writer of a half-dozen or so irregular columns for 2 student newspapers. Nothing there really for a guy who wants to be a badass archeologist or journalist.
On the other hand, Lois & Clark is awesome, just so you know.