leaving
So it’s true. I’m leaving. Not this town. Not the city I leave or the house that I live… just the job that I work. I will officially end my employment here next month. It, I believe, is a good decision and a good move for my career. Been at my current position for a little over two years and this past year has been interesting, which has led me to accept calls and over the phone interviews, etc.
Interviewed with the VP of HR and CEO and I guess they liked me. I will be the head of Corporate Training which is still kind of unbelievable to me. Just can’t get my reality to wrap around it just yet. While there are a lot of good things about this new direction, there are some things that I have yet to understand. I guess we all have those feelings of inadequacy. Will I be able to do it? Yes, of course I can. I know I can! But can I? These are the questions that I wrestle with. But I know that I am ready for the next floor because this glass ceiling needs to be broken and why not by me? I mean, love to break things!
Just pray that I don’t cut myself.
In regards to the place I am leaving; don’t get me wrong, the job I am currently in is not terrible. I am not dying to leave. My bosses are not evil. Yet at times it just never really felt right, what I was doing here. Almost felt as if I were digressing. The benefits were always good, the environment was comfortable… hmm comfortable? That is the thing that worried me. That single word. I have tried not to become comfortable in anything that I do, although I have and continue to fall victim to the meaning regularly!
This is a great job to be in, if one is ready for the end. I say that to conclude that with its good benefits, steady pace and comfortable feeling; it can definitely become a place where you would want to retire. End your career in complacency waiting for the last day so you can move on to highlighted memories as a Wal-Mart greeter… oh and then you die. Not to say that other positions here come with the same direction. I can’t assume to say what others might feel.
The problem is, I should not be and am not ready for complacency just yet. I am not ready to just do those one or two things for the rest of my… yet. I need to grow professionally a little more.
My boxes have stuff in them. Underneath my desk are the memories, binders, paperclips and staples that are mine, pieces of this job that I will take with me. I am not sad to go, but I am reluctant to leave. Starting a new is always something that your mind can challenge even when you know it is for the best. So the best is what I will wish and pray for. Just in case the best can be meant for me!