Sure Didn't Know It Was Going To Hit Me This Way
Ah hell, get me something to do so I stop thinking. I've been having one of my philosophical days so those of you who hate it when I do this stop reading now. It feels my soul feels has gone somewhere where hope still exsists. Now I'm left with neither, and it doesn't help I'm sitting here listening to "Songs About Rain". This has really affected me like I never could have expected. For the first time in my life I am losing people that have been a huge part of my life. I've been lucky this far, the only thing I've lost is a dog and my mom just gave him away he didn't die. I've know people who have died but it's never been someone I see everyday so this is the first time it really hurts that I'll never see these people again. They're not dying for the record, but I am not holding my breath for the off chance that we'll meet again. Damn, I hate this. No matter what I do, how hard I try this is a game you can't possibly win. You just hope to do well enough that you don't wind up in Hell, and that you can some how live with all the stuff you've messed up. All the words you should have said, all the sigs you should have seen, or the risks that you should have taken. I'd give anything to know what to do, where to go from here, but that is our curse. We have free will, or at least we think we do, so we can't know the future because of the paradoxical nature of time. AHHHH I hate this I see the questions, but am unable to see any possible way of finding an answer. It torments me like you wouldn't believe, I think I'm going insane. Hehe, now that is a cool paradox when you think about it. thinking you are going insane, when if you were insane you wouldn't know what . . . sorry. Ha "sorry" that's the story of my life.
Till next time,
Benjamin D. Curley