pick me up
i have been doing alright lately. i have been getting more positive, as for a while, i was in a not so positive state. not that i wasn't happy or optimistic about life but i kind of felt like a yellow light turning red kinds of thing. it was strange and disconcerning and it made my heart rate go up and it made me vomit a few times. but now i'm ok. i'm taking care of myself. physically, mentally, sexually.
i've also become very comfortable approaching most individuals. i've been making sure lately that homeless people who are sprawled out on the sidewalk are taking naps, and not dead. tonight i delivered dumpster'd rolls to a very grateful Kevin and his dog. i've been thinking of becoming a nurse, or a general care worker or maybe a youth worker. i've been thinking of becoming a big brother but i want to make sure that i can commit for more than a few years to a kid who's had a shit for morals family.
for a while i just wanted to disappear. i didn't tell anyone because i thought it would defeat the purpose. you don't tell people that you're going to surprise them. but i think i succesfully disappeared and re-emerged. i'm starting to think that's what life is about. life is about thinking about life and about the things that go on. and not becoming stagnant or repetitive. i don't want to think about heaven. i don't want to go there. if it's a club for people who are incarnately good and wholesome than i fucking pass.
'heaven is a place where nothing really happens'
i've also become very comfortable approaching most individuals. i've been making sure lately that homeless people who are sprawled out on the sidewalk are taking naps, and not dead. tonight i delivered dumpster'd rolls to a very grateful Kevin and his dog. i've been thinking of becoming a nurse, or a general care worker or maybe a youth worker. i've been thinking of becoming a big brother but i want to make sure that i can commit for more than a few years to a kid who's had a shit for morals family.
for a while i just wanted to disappear. i didn't tell anyone because i thought it would defeat the purpose. you don't tell people that you're going to surprise them. but i think i succesfully disappeared and re-emerged. i'm starting to think that's what life is about. life is about thinking about life and about the things that go on. and not becoming stagnant or repetitive. i don't want to think about heaven. i don't want to go there. if it's a club for people who are incarnately good and wholesome than i fucking pass.
'heaven is a place where nothing really happens'