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So, I'm finally back, and I just got up again. They can tell you, I walked in the door and went face first into the couch. I don't think I ever needed a nap so badly then at that moment. Makes me wonder if everyone was staring at me at the time. I really don't care that much, but it was probably quite the sight, me coming in, hauling a pet carrier
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I've decided on the second option. And damn it feels good.
I'm friended to Crimsonspin and she has the coolest new Icon, of Justin from QAF--it says something like "Are you ready to be strong." I've begged her to let me have it. I love it. I need that icon...plus Justin is just so hot. And he's a hell of a great role model for me--once a twink now a tough guy. I like that.
Okay let's see, let me start from the beginning. Or rather, the ending of the day. I woke up at I guess around seven or so, in the guest room I'd taken over. I'd borrowed a pair of Dan's sweats and a shirt but woke up all twisted up and hot in the sheets--there's a reason I usually sleep in the nude. I'm a hot box. Think Ben can attest to that now.
Anyway---you know this note is in danger of getting too long. Ben, if it gets too long and you want to move it or something, or put it into a regular note and cut it, holler, I'll give you my password so you can move it. Wish we could do the cut thing on these comments. I'd move it to my lj but I'm so freakin' anonymous, no one would find it. I don’t mind. Being a nobody has its advantages, I'm learning. Especially being around Darren and Daniel. Someone's always after them. Sometimes literally.
I'm getting lost here. Ben just woke up and looked up at me and smiled. "Hey," he said. Man of few words, that's my Ben. And damn, does he look delicious this morning. He's got the best skin on a guy I've ever seen. Should pose for photographers--though his hair leaves a bit to be desired this morning. Flattened spikes. LOL. I just said Hey back, and he's stretching like a cat, rolling onto his back. Tease If I wasn't so impossibly sore today I'd jump on him.
See, I keep getting distracted, but having a sleepy naked man staring at me so hungrily is damn distracting. Think I'll post this and come back with the rest later.
Suddenly I don't feel so sore anymore.
Linds
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Guess being beat near to a pulp makes a man do either one of two things: roll over and let life keep punching him in the balls, or stand up, fight for what he wants and say to hell with the rest of the world. I've decided on the second option. And damn it feels good.
I for one am proud of you. Really am. Good for you. Yeah!
And second, THIS icon? grins. Yes, babycakes, of course you can have it. I usually use the piccie of me when I'm over here, so no problem. I'll send it to you. Just tell me what your email addy is and I'll pop it to you. I like it, too!
C
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So back to the story. I woke up at around seven and came out to find Dan, Darren, Karl, and Lee sitting around and relaxing and eating dinner and there was this dog, not more than a puppy, sitting on Lee's lap.
"New boyfriend?" I asked, and Lee answered, "Yup."
"Where's Ben?" I asked. "Passed out in the living room," was the answer provided by Lee. "Playing Santa Karl's helper wore him out."
I walked into the other room and Ben was passed out on the couch. I stared at him for a long time, feeling a mixture of love and excitement, but didn't wake him.
I ate a little but couldn't stay up any more so went back to bed--this time, sans the clothes. I woke sometime later to the sound of the shower running. Before Darren carted me off to the hospital I'd grabbed a bunch of stuff from the bathroom--shaving stuff, shampoo, toothbrush, lube, hair gel, condoms, toothpaste--all the important stuff. So, I grabbed the condoms and lube out and slid back into bed a minute or two before Ben emerged from the shower.
Naked.
The light from the bathroom was on and Linds discovered just how fast a hard-on could be his. Ben walked over to the bed, stared down at it, at me, saw my open eyes, and said, "Hey."
"Hey."
"Room for me in there?"
"Yes," I said.
"You look like hell," he said. Only then did I realize he'd left the bathroom light on. Fine with me. I wanted to see him.
"Feel like it, too," I said, sucking in my breath as he lay against me and took me in his arms. I shuddered against him, inhaling his heat and the incredible feel of his skin. I love Ben's skin. Smooth and soft and warm and smells so damn good.
"You up to this?"
"Yes." I pulled the lube and a condom out and watched Ben as he opened the package and without hesitation put it on--me.
Yeah, on me.
Okay, I think you get the picture that Ben and I haven't talked much at this point. But whereas Karl and Lee seem to talk about everything, Ben's not much of a talker. He's a doer. And I could hardly argue with his decision--I still hurt inside, and it made sense that I be top, at least this first time.
He smiled his quirky smile and said, "Ready whenever you are."
"You are nutters." It occurred to me then that here we were, buck naked about to fuck for the first time and I'd never even kissed the guy. Blame it on my most recent relationship--he hadn't like to kiss. I bent down and touched Ben's lips with my own, and then plunged his mouth with my tongue. He groaned, rolled me over and oh man can Ben kiss. All my aches and pains and fears disappeared as he took over, I burned, absolutely burned with what he was doing to me.
I don't know how long we kissed like that. At one point I just lay there as he explored every bruise, every scrape, kissing it and making it better. He muttered curses now and then as something he did hurt and I flinched, but I tried not to. His dick was hot and heavy against me and I wanted it inside me so bad I could've cried but I wasn't ready for that and we both knew it. Finally he turned over and let me prepare him, he was incredibly tight but I worked him, plunging my fingers into him, loving the intimacy of it and making him squirm until he was ready. I lay against his back, spooning him, holding onto him, entering him. I'd not topped many times before but damn this was good, watching his face bathed in the bathroom's light, linking our hands together as I plunged into him. I finally reached beneath him, found what I was looking for easily enough (the boy has quite the tool, let me tell you) and we more or less came together.
It sucks what happened to me. It sucks that I have to wait to make sure I'm okay--I think I'll be okay--but everything seems much better now. After Ben cleaned me up and rejoined me in bed I lay against him again and we kissed awhile longer until I couldn't stop yawning.
"Sorry," he finally said.
"For what?"
"For not being there. For you not being safe. For...running from my feelings for you."
I snuggled against him, both of us warm and sticky and sated. "You're here now. I'm safe now. You aren't running now. That's all I care about."
Then, we fell asleep.
Linds
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Keep after him to talk about things, though, if he doesn't volunteer himself, ask him--he reminds me of my husband a bit on this matter. That can be infuriating at times!
Take care, and the icon will soon be in your mailbox. Glad to do it.
C
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Glad it's working out so far you two. Keep it up. (heh heh heh)
Lee
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And Ben, I saw you zoom in and out of here--good thing I was too tired to chase after you--and sore, and moaning and groaning, damn my ribs hurt... I'll catch you later though.
Linds, who is starting to get sick of being such a lump
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*Hugs and Love*
Linda
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Linds, who realized hey my name is close to yours, how cool is that?
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Well, I think it's cool.
^_^
Hope your day is going well.
*Hugs*
Linda
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Guess I needed the rest, huh.
Linds
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Don't worry, Ben, I'll have him back safe. Promise.
Karl
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Any word from Ben yet?
*Hugs*
Linda
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In any case, yeah, Karl and I had a good time. Talked alot about guys *grin*. I'll let him tell about that though when he gets the chance. He and Lee are at the doc's, I think, and looking into what to do about the old place.
Linds
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