tonite...
went out tonite to the meadows w/ the majority of 3N. first we went to watch mike's concert and then we hit up the meadows. i was having a lot of fun - and sara and i completed our "secret mission" (thank you forever on that one sara) - i don't know what happened but all of a sudden i got really depressed and felt very disoriented. i felt like i was all alone in that entire house, when the truth of the matter was that there were so many people all around me. but seriously at one point i was standing there in the "living room" and i was just looking around and i felt so out of place and alone. it was really sad and i know that i had a lot on my mind but i just didn't want to be there anymore. so instead i just went and stood outside and looked at the stars and thought about things for a little while. that was atleast until this creepy short guy came outside and started peeing and forgot to do up his pants. but it was then that i realized i really needed to get out of that place. so i went inside and told steve that i was leaving and i took off. it was a long, cold, snowy, scary walk back to the dorm but i sort of enjoyed it. i was all by myself and i was able to actually think about things. - though i'm not quite sure what i needed to think about (if that makes any sense) so i came back here completely and utterly depressed for really no reason at all, put some warm pj's on and climbed into my bed so that i could lay down and feel sorry for myself. at which time i proceeded to eat multiple reese's peanut butter cups. then steve showed up to make sure i was ok - and i had to proceed to tell him over and over again that i was fine and i just didn't want to talk about it (he was a little intoxicated - but not bad) and then sara imed me to make sure i was ok - in which case i explained that i was just feeling really alone and left out at the party. and then chris showed up at my room (to make sure i was ok...lol) so we went to the lounge to talk about tonite. it was really nice to know that he actually cared. so i explained my rediculous self to him and told him how i just needed to pity myself. and then we just sat there and talked for a long time - it was nice. lol he explained to me that if i proceeded to pick the lint off of my blanket then i would have no blanket anymore :-) in which case i didn't believe him so he explained to me some physics equation so that i could understand it ... (which i didn't of course ;-)) anyway - so then i went outside with steve to tell him good nite and then went to sara's room to meet her and chris to watch a movie. but we got distracted and ended up going outside (@ 3am) to play in the freshly fallen beautiful white snow - the only problem? there really wasn't very much snow...but we were able to throw some around and sara made a snow angel and then we tried to create some sort of retarded snow man which turned out to be just a small pile of snow that we scraped together. finally we went inside and sara and i sat on her bed and talked while we attempted to watch "when a man loves a women" but instead we ended up talking the whole time - and now i'm back here sitting in my bed staring at my computer screen for another sleepless nite @ geneseo.