sick of this...
I'm doing it again, thinking about all that stupid shit that I like to think about. It's so pointless and such a waste of time yet I continue to do it over and over again. I make myself sick with all of this crap. I never realized before just how much I hate being alone. I despise it. When I'm by myself I feel sick. And I think that I hate it so much because when I'm by myself then I start to think... I think about the past...about all that shit. And I think about now. I think about stuff that happens every day. But I hardly ever think about the good stuff. I'm so fucking sick of all this. I tried calling someone a little while ago but of course his cell phone is turned off. What's the point of us even talking. It means shit. It's gonna turn out just like everything else. I need to realize it now before it goes too far. Before I let myself get crushed. Ehhhhhhh.....I need to get away. Away from all this shit. The people who are just two-faced, my family, lyndonville in general. Everyone lately just seems to piss me off... someday I'm gonna regret being such a bitch to everyone... someday ...