i can't do this....
after monday, i didn't think it could get any worse.
but it did.
i tried this loyalist vs patriot activity. it failed with 2nd and 3rd and 6th. i made them write down what they said, and that didn't really work either. 6th was just miserable and i managed to piss off this girl who is a really good student and i just knew then that it was going to be even worse. she's been a pain and mean and so has these other two girls. this one girl was making fun of me because i wore my outfit last week. one person said "oh you have HER for sprint" as if it was bad thing. my sprint class felt semi-bad for me but otherwise it was hell. i've ruined two relationships. my 1st hour and my 4th hour was having a lot of fun but everyone else hated it and didn't have fun. it was so painful. they complained how stupid it is and how boring social studies is. i don't know if i can make myself come in tomorrow. i just don't know if it will happen. this girl wouldnt be in my class and she walked out so i had to call ms. cooper and now for the rest of the year she is going to be intent on making life miserable. i'm supposed to call a parent about a student who i wrote up but her mom is a bitch and i'm scared i'm going to start crying on the phone. well its pointless now, i'm a wreck and a miserable wreck. i'm supposed to go up to my mentor teacher's room to get a lesson but i'm a wreck. and i really don't feel like admitting all my failures to my teacher. i want to call a sub but part of me doesn't - after all,isn't that admitting defeat? it was a joy in 1st and 4th hour - they were so fun and most of them stayed on task. 1st hour hated me all week long and part of last week - but today they were happy and for the most part really got into it. 4th hour they weren't always on task but they liked it. i keep telling myself it wasn't me - it's not like i didn't try, i modeled, and i tried to make it fun. i keep thinking what everyone is going to say, "fix it." they hate me and i have to figure out why. why they make fun of the way i talk and the way i dress and everything. 3rd hour was so mean. they are mad at me because i graded their tests hard and now i have two important allies furious with me. i don't even want it to be my birthday. my brothers probably won't call and talk for more than 3 minutes, watch jeff forget, my people from NU will probably forget, and i don't know. i feel like i'm just a total failure. the aim high people don't like me, the priory people don't listen to me except for dan and ed, my mather people mostly didn't like me, and now this.
but it did.
i tried this loyalist vs patriot activity. it failed with 2nd and 3rd and 6th. i made them write down what they said, and that didn't really work either. 6th was just miserable and i managed to piss off this girl who is a really good student and i just knew then that it was going to be even worse. she's been a pain and mean and so has these other two girls. this one girl was making fun of me because i wore my outfit last week. one person said "oh you have HER for sprint" as if it was bad thing. my sprint class felt semi-bad for me but otherwise it was hell. i've ruined two relationships. my 1st hour and my 4th hour was having a lot of fun but everyone else hated it and didn't have fun. it was so painful. they complained how stupid it is and how boring social studies is. i don't know if i can make myself come in tomorrow. i just don't know if it will happen. this girl wouldnt be in my class and she walked out so i had to call ms. cooper and now for the rest of the year she is going to be intent on making life miserable. i'm supposed to call a parent about a student who i wrote up but her mom is a bitch and i'm scared i'm going to start crying on the phone. well its pointless now, i'm a wreck and a miserable wreck. i'm supposed to go up to my mentor teacher's room to get a lesson but i'm a wreck. and i really don't feel like admitting all my failures to my teacher. i want to call a sub but part of me doesn't - after all,isn't that admitting defeat? it was a joy in 1st and 4th hour - they were so fun and most of them stayed on task. 1st hour hated me all week long and part of last week - but today they were happy and for the most part really got into it. 4th hour they weren't always on task but they liked it. i keep telling myself it wasn't me - it's not like i didn't try, i modeled, and i tried to make it fun. i keep thinking what everyone is going to say, "fix it." they hate me and i have to figure out why. why they make fun of the way i talk and the way i dress and everything. 3rd hour was so mean. they are mad at me because i graded their tests hard and now i have two important allies furious with me. i don't even want it to be my birthday. my brothers probably won't call and talk for more than 3 minutes, watch jeff forget, my people from NU will probably forget, and i don't know. i feel like i'm just a total failure. the aim high people don't like me, the priory people don't listen to me except for dan and ed, my mather people mostly didn't like me, and now this.