THIS IS GREAT!
This is an e-mail from my cousin in New York; in conversation with her 11-year-old son.
So I'm having this great discussion with Austen last night. It was just the two of us out to dinner b/c Kev had his company retreat in Cooperstown.
Somehow we got on the subject of people being gay. I I think because he said something about seeing Clay Aiken coming out on the cover of People (at Ed's house, no less). He said, "Mom, you know what I think is really sad? When people who are gay feel like they can't tell other people because they think they won't like them anymore. I think that is really sad and not fair."
I said, "I agree. Everyone should be able to live their lives as who they are, in truth. Sometimes other people don't understand what being gay means and it makes them want to push it away or hate it." and he looks at me and says, "Mom, people fear the unknown." He said it so thoughtfully it just killed me.
I thought it was good to continue the discussion, so I asked him, "do you know anyone who is gay?" He thought for a minute and said, "I don't think so. Do you?"
Now, we never had the discussion with him that Ben is gay. I just felt that it wasn't relevant in the sense that Ben is just still Ben and his sexuality is arbitrary. I never hid it from Austen, but I never wanted to make it a point, so I figured at some point Austen would get it on his own. He hasn't been shielded from any of the jokes or comments people in the family make when they tease Ben, but Aust has never asked me about it either. So I said to him, "Well, Ben is."
He stopped, looked at me and said, "Ben who?"
I said, "Our Ben. Cousin Ben."
He goes, "He is?"
I said, "Yes, didn't you know?" He asked if I had ever told him and I said not specifically. So he shrugs his shoulders and goes, "Oh. Well, I'm fine with that."
I was trying not to laugh because he was so serious about letting me know it wasn't an issue for him. I said, "That's good, because Ben is still Ben and nothing has changed about that."
He goes, "Well, except for the lip gloss." :)
So then I mentioned that Kev's former Brother-In-Law Tom is also gay. He and his partner Greg stayed with us once a few years ago and I had been very nervous at them sharing the guest room with Austen in the house. At the time he didn't even know what being gay was, but Tom and Greg make an effort to make everyone comfortable, and so they act like friends as opposed to a couple. Aust never blinked an eye over it. So he says, "I sort of thought they might be, but didn't want to say anything in case they weren't. They act like good friends."
I told him they are getting married in California and that it was because Greg should be able to be on Tom's health ins. and be able to authorize medical treatment in case of emergency, and all of the other rights that a spouse has. Aust said he thought that every state should allow that.
. So the waitress came over about five times to ask if we were ready to order, and just kidding I said after she had left, "Do I look ready to order? I still have the menu in my hand, sister."
Austen laughed and then he broke my heart. He actually made me cry. He goes, "Mom, I like you."
I said, "Thanks honey, I like you too."
He goes, "No Mom, you're really funny. I mean, if you weren't my Mom, I would still really want to be your friend." I just love that kid.
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In my opinion, all 11-year-olds should be just as accepting as Austen. He's says "people fear the unknown", and he is exactly right. If people had the knowledge that he does, there would be much more acceptance. I believe that children his age, or even a little younger, should be taught about homosexuality. They need to know in order to understand and accept. I think it's great that he's so aware and accepting at such a young age. It just proves that he's been taught to accept things as they are and not to judge people for who they are. That's one of the best things he'll ever learn.
For Now,
<3XOXO
-Bengee