Fuck, the things I find to talk about.
I used to watch a lot more porn than I do now. I have no qualms in admitting that. I find that, for the most part, pornography is healthy. (We won't delve into the freaky ass Japanese shit. Or German. ::shudder::) I still watch my fair share of Vivid vids. But what I can't handle anymore? Internet porn. Bang Bus, Bookworm Bitches, Sapphic Erotica, etcetera. I just can't fucking watch that shit anymore.
Not long after Violet was born, I sat down and fired up my porn computer, (Okay, yes. I have a computer designated for porn. It keeps the spyware and other shit off of my main computers. Fuck off.) I queued up one of my favorites, and as the camera focused on the nineteen year old blonde, who laughed nervously as they asked her if she liked to suck cock -- I suddenly realized that, holy shit, this girl was someone's kid.
It sounds so hypocritical, considering that I have no problem watching Jenna Jameson or Tera Patrick get banged every which way. But somehow, professionally produced porn feels different than the more amateur stuff. I think that because it's so slick and unrealistic, it doesn't seem as objectifying. When it's shot with an 8mm or DV, it changes. For the first time in my life, I watched that video and wondered what had happened to her in her life, what it was that made her feel the need to join the thousands of other girls that humiliate themselves on the internet. I found myself wondering what kind of person she was. I realized that she was a person.
I ended up deleting about six gigs from my collection. Having kids changes you, ask anyone.
[I haven't been able to get online with my computer for about two weeks now. I'm not sure what's wrong with it, but I can't get it to recognize that the wireless adapter is connected to the internet. It might have something to do with my ISP not being recognized by the connection, but I'm not sure. Unfortunately, I won't be able to do anything about it for a week, because I'll be out of town.]
Not long after Violet was born, I sat down and fired up my porn computer, (Okay, yes. I have a computer designated for porn. It keeps the spyware and other shit off of my main computers. Fuck off.) I queued up one of my favorites, and as the camera focused on the nineteen year old blonde, who laughed nervously as they asked her if she liked to suck cock -- I suddenly realized that, holy shit, this girl was someone's kid.
It sounds so hypocritical, considering that I have no problem watching Jenna Jameson or Tera Patrick get banged every which way. But somehow, professionally produced porn feels different than the more amateur stuff. I think that because it's so slick and unrealistic, it doesn't seem as objectifying. When it's shot with an 8mm or DV, it changes. For the first time in my life, I watched that video and wondered what had happened to her in her life, what it was that made her feel the need to join the thousands of other girls that humiliate themselves on the internet. I found myself wondering what kind of person she was. I realized that she was a person.
I ended up deleting about six gigs from my collection. Having kids changes you, ask anyone.
[I haven't been able to get online with my computer for about two weeks now. I'm not sure what's wrong with it, but I can't get it to recognize that the wireless adapter is connected to the internet. It might have something to do with my ISP not being recognized by the connection, but I'm not sure. Unfortunately, I won't be able to do anything about it for a week, because I'll be out of town.]