The coming and goings of souls in our lives....
Its been a busy past few days. The cause , is of the worst heart breaking kind. Last night, at about 9:50, Melinda Rinde passed away. James was at her side, and I was on my way there as fast as traffic would allow, even covering the 75 miles in 45 minutes I wasn't quite fast enough. James handled her passing well, I think he was relieved she went peacefully.
Backing up to the previous couple days, they've been a flurry. Saturday James called me and told me his Mom had been moved from the hospital to the Hospice. That they had her on morphine and oxygen, and I should come see her soon. He told me how at the hospital, his lil niece Shelby, who's about 2, said "Gramma's with angels now" and it was after that that Melinda never regained consciousness. They say lil kids see things we can't, so maybe. But it reminded me that not only did Melinda love and collect angels, I acutally had an angel miniature on hand(being a miniature hoarding geek pays off at last) so while I'm still talking to James I start looking for it, found it and for whatever reason started crying. Maybe bacuase James was a little bit. I finally stopped, got james into an ok place. And set to painting. I usually hate painting in whites. This time I didn't. I think the robes went on with about 18 shades of creamy ivory whites, and the wings about 14 pearl whites, the base was a bit of a blusih grey, with white for a cloud effect that I toned down so it didn't distract from the effect of the fig. The varnish I used toned down the hair and skin tones too much unfortunately, and I only had a bit of time to touch them up. But all in all, I'm only picking at it from a perfectiionists point. I actually put emotion into this piece, so it came out different than any of the other hundreds I've ever painted before. http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b91/Isabelles_minis/Angel%20of%20Mercy/Angel.jpg
I was a bit nervous about showing up and seeing dozens of people who hadn't seen me as Isabelle yet. But after thinking about it, Melinda was always one to be honest, and I don't think she would have wanted me to have to make a choice like that-so I didn't. Finding th hospice on 'James-GPS' of turn here a few streets this way by this thing, was fun, but we found it. The only person I recognized was Ron, James' Dad, so I gave him a hug, and got the "Who the heck is hugging me reaction" Erica seemd to figure it out though and was great, told me a I looked good, asked me how I wanted her to introduce me to her husband etc. Shes always been a sweet kid. They took us to Melindas room, she was sleeping it seemed, breathing a bit heavily, but peaceful. The family stepped out for a second to figure out the lunch plans, and I took the opportunty to slip the lil angel I painted onto a shelf next to some ceramic and resin angels others had brought as gifts. I didn't want any attention from it, I just wanted it there, it seemed to belong. Which seemed to have the opposite of my intended effect, it was noticed. I wouldn't tell them how long it took to paint though. Didn't really matter as it wasn't the point. I'd never sell a piece like that, emotion is a gift, not a commoditity. We went out to lunch with James, Ron, Erica, Her husband Bill, and Todd. Its a bit akward with Todd, he's bordering on hostility with me, and if he does it again, especially now, and puts James in the middle I'm going to straighten his ass out. Of all the times to pull that, this is NOT it. I used to consider Todd a friend, but I no longer think thats the case. Otherwise everyone was very cordial and civil, not a single him/he with the exception of the lone dickhead. We ended up going to his Ron & Erica/Bills houses(they only live like a block apart) and stayed really late. James made some calls to old friends and I talked to Frank who I've been out of touch with for about 2 years, at least. It was good to hear from him, but sucked to hear the details of his divorce, as I used to like his wife. By the time Jen and I drove home it was a 33 hour day for me since I had stayed up to paint the angel, and of course it took me another 2-3 to fall asleep :\
Monday was a bit mellower emotionally, James was doing alright, but I still wanted to do something. I found out a couple of his co-wrokers were going to go see him and go out and maybe catch a movie. We really didn't need to be paying for a movie at a non matinee price, but I had promised Jen we'd see Harry Potter any way. So we went and met James at the hospice. Frank was there, he didn't seem to have any idea who I was at first, so it was interesting to see him figure it out :) James brother Peter and his wife Cindy were with Melinda, so we headed out and watched the show. It was, ok, I'm not a fan of the series. I kept my negtivity to myself though, as I wasn't watching it for me. We went back to the hospice and sat in the great room, chatted a bit, it got late a James eventually realised that Manda needed to get back to Florence so she could sleep before she had to work the next day. When we left Melinda was still breathing well, fighting, as she has for so long.
It all got me to thinking, alot of remembering really. Melinda was always a dynamic woman. Going out of her way to help kids in school, even is they didn't want her help sometimes. When I graduated, I didn't get a damned thing from most of my own family like my grandparents, but from Melinda and Ron I got and antique book of Tall Tales, with a note, that will stay personal, that until just yesterday I had forgotten about. I cried when I recalled those words, as they mean more to me now than they ever could have back then. This has made me look back, quite intensely on the last ten years or so of my life, and I see that there was much potential left unfulfilled, which in essence is wasted time. I can't relive, or undo that time, but I can learn from it and not repeat those mistakes. So, despite having had our differences over the years, Melinda Rinde once again has touched my life in a meaningful way, and this time, I believe I have the wisdom to honor it-thank you Melinda, I hope you find the peace you deserve
Backing up to the previous couple days, they've been a flurry. Saturday James called me and told me his Mom had been moved from the hospital to the Hospice. That they had her on morphine and oxygen, and I should come see her soon. He told me how at the hospital, his lil niece Shelby, who's about 2, said "Gramma's with angels now" and it was after that that Melinda never regained consciousness. They say lil kids see things we can't, so maybe. But it reminded me that not only did Melinda love and collect angels, I acutally had an angel miniature on hand(being a miniature hoarding geek pays off at last) so while I'm still talking to James I start looking for it, found it and for whatever reason started crying. Maybe bacuase James was a little bit. I finally stopped, got james into an ok place. And set to painting. I usually hate painting in whites. This time I didn't. I think the robes went on with about 18 shades of creamy ivory whites, and the wings about 14 pearl whites, the base was a bit of a blusih grey, with white for a cloud effect that I toned down so it didn't distract from the effect of the fig. The varnish I used toned down the hair and skin tones too much unfortunately, and I only had a bit of time to touch them up. But all in all, I'm only picking at it from a perfectiionists point. I actually put emotion into this piece, so it came out different than any of the other hundreds I've ever painted before. http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b91/Isabelles_minis/Angel%20of%20Mercy/Angel.jpg
I was a bit nervous about showing up and seeing dozens of people who hadn't seen me as Isabelle yet. But after thinking about it, Melinda was always one to be honest, and I don't think she would have wanted me to have to make a choice like that-so I didn't. Finding th hospice on 'James-GPS' of turn here a few streets this way by this thing, was fun, but we found it. The only person I recognized was Ron, James' Dad, so I gave him a hug, and got the "Who the heck is hugging me reaction" Erica seemd to figure it out though and was great, told me a I looked good, asked me how I wanted her to introduce me to her husband etc. Shes always been a sweet kid. They took us to Melindas room, she was sleeping it seemed, breathing a bit heavily, but peaceful. The family stepped out for a second to figure out the lunch plans, and I took the opportunty to slip the lil angel I painted onto a shelf next to some ceramic and resin angels others had brought as gifts. I didn't want any attention from it, I just wanted it there, it seemed to belong. Which seemed to have the opposite of my intended effect, it was noticed. I wouldn't tell them how long it took to paint though. Didn't really matter as it wasn't the point. I'd never sell a piece like that, emotion is a gift, not a commoditity. We went out to lunch with James, Ron, Erica, Her husband Bill, and Todd. Its a bit akward with Todd, he's bordering on hostility with me, and if he does it again, especially now, and puts James in the middle I'm going to straighten his ass out. Of all the times to pull that, this is NOT it. I used to consider Todd a friend, but I no longer think thats the case. Otherwise everyone was very cordial and civil, not a single him/he with the exception of the lone dickhead. We ended up going to his Ron & Erica/Bills houses(they only live like a block apart) and stayed really late. James made some calls to old friends and I talked to Frank who I've been out of touch with for about 2 years, at least. It was good to hear from him, but sucked to hear the details of his divorce, as I used to like his wife. By the time Jen and I drove home it was a 33 hour day for me since I had stayed up to paint the angel, and of course it took me another 2-3 to fall asleep :\
Monday was a bit mellower emotionally, James was doing alright, but I still wanted to do something. I found out a couple of his co-wrokers were going to go see him and go out and maybe catch a movie. We really didn't need to be paying for a movie at a non matinee price, but I had promised Jen we'd see Harry Potter any way. So we went and met James at the hospice. Frank was there, he didn't seem to have any idea who I was at first, so it was interesting to see him figure it out :) James brother Peter and his wife Cindy were with Melinda, so we headed out and watched the show. It was, ok, I'm not a fan of the series. I kept my negtivity to myself though, as I wasn't watching it for me. We went back to the hospice and sat in the great room, chatted a bit, it got late a James eventually realised that Manda needed to get back to Florence so she could sleep before she had to work the next day. When we left Melinda was still breathing well, fighting, as she has for so long.
It all got me to thinking, alot of remembering really. Melinda was always a dynamic woman. Going out of her way to help kids in school, even is they didn't want her help sometimes. When I graduated, I didn't get a damned thing from most of my own family like my grandparents, but from Melinda and Ron I got and antique book of Tall Tales, with a note, that will stay personal, that until just yesterday I had forgotten about. I cried when I recalled those words, as they mean more to me now than they ever could have back then. This has made me look back, quite intensely on the last ten years or so of my life, and I see that there was much potential left unfulfilled, which in essence is wasted time. I can't relive, or undo that time, but I can learn from it and not repeat those mistakes. So, despite having had our differences over the years, Melinda Rinde once again has touched my life in a meaningful way, and this time, I believe I have the wisdom to honor it-thank you Melinda, I hope you find the peace you deserve