(no subject)
i worked on choreographing a dance for a whole week, in between writing college essays, applications, homework, community service, acting classes, and auditions. i danced around on a bent femur and a diseased knee. i ached and cried. i was stressed out, busy, tired, and jealous. yes. i stayed up until 2 in the morning thursday night, woke up at 8 in the morning friday and finsihed the choregoraphy and taught it to two people. one of those people was a bitch who kept trying to change the shit that i worked so hard on. and that was MY job. then she tried to take CREDIT for it?!?!?!?!eww. by the way, i was asked to perform this dance 2days prior to this puny mall show. they never answer their phone, so i had no idea what kind of show it was or who would be watching. needless to say, last night when i showed the dance to the idiots in charge of the show for approval (two young as shit 20 year olds who think theyre so awesome because they get to wear business suits and work in a building and OH MY GOD THEYRE IN CHARGE OF A REAL LIVE SHOW!! a MALL show!!! yay! so they told me they "liked" the dance but it needs to be "cleaned up" and "toned down" because the type of show is a recruiting show for their performance art school. a scouting occasion. a thing where they say look at these dancers and models and actors and singers! we can teach you to be just like them. first of all, they didnt teach me how to dance and they certainly didnt teach me how to sing. should i recruit the mall goers to come to my HOUSE because THATS where i learned my craft. they said they dont want to give the image to parents that we will teach their young and impressionable 12 year olf children to be seductive and "hootchie" i hate that word. its gay and from the 90s. alright. "maybe if your crowd was a bunch of guys it would be ok" so body rolls and hip-slaps are seductive. "but if you try it to faster music, maybe it wont look so bad." so what music did they suggest? kanye west?! a song that turns my stomach, with lyrics that appaul me. thats much fucking better. and then they had the NERVE to say yeah i know its popular and trendy and all over mtv and young people want to have that same sex appeal that youre trying to have... WHAT?! YOU of ALL people should not tell me that im trying to be a pop-culture enthusiest. its YOU who falls into the puke of society. i bet you eat at mcdonalds all the time and laugh about it. i bet you dream about marrying puff diddy daddy seany colms bigggy whatever his name is. i dance how i want. whenever i want. wherever Too. it is a form of expression that makes me feel better than you. the instant i MEAN to seduce an audience and make them LUST over me, will be the INSTANT i rip off my clothes and rub my crotch on a pole. until then, i will not contain myself. i will not try to satisfy anyone. i boycotted their mall show. i hope they were still able to sucker people into paying thousands of dollars for their piece of crap irresponsible school by lieing to them and telling them theyre beautiful and talented and will be in hollywood in 6 months. i didnt perfomrm in THAT show. but the next show that they host, i will sure as hell perfom it as i had originally planned to