poll! (not really, but i would appreciate answers)
suppose you have a list of things you like about people, and/or qualities you want in a significant other (or close friends, which is pretty much the same to me - and if you make a very big difference, please explain ... and of course there would be things that you wouldn't be able to stand in a SO that your friends have, but that is why they are friends and not SOs. but i am talking about things you would like your friends to have, hypothetically, which should be very similar). :) so you have a real list like that, written somewhere.
would you like this list to become more or less public knowledge? parts of it? or would you rather keep it a secret, and never tell anyone what's in it? Not that people would not be able to guess about some of the things on it, but still... :)
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i guess it is only fair i start first, and then people can either add on to my thoughts, rebuke them, or go into a completely different direction:
statement, controversial i guess: people can change. it doesn't happen day to day, it is not easy and requires conscious effort over a period of time, but if they want to, everyone could change most of their qualities. i could agree that there are some things that would be next to impossible to change, but those are very few and far between. from personal experience, i can say i have made myself much more outgoing and extroverted than... when i was 16, say. i still have no problem with my own company (mostly), but i am happier being with friends.
that said, would i like to know what my friends and other people i would like to think of as friends want from people? certainly! it is not completely verifiable if i would make an effort to change in all possible positive ways, but it is at least likely i would try some. why? because i want to make my friends happy :)
would i share such a list if i had one though? i think the right answer is "in parts". wouldn't work to have someone see the list and then present themselves to me as a perfect match, would it? ;-p ...but those parts would be a really big part of the list. in fact, right now i can only think of one or two things i wouldn't make public.
so.... please let me know :)
would you like this list to become more or less public knowledge? parts of it? or would you rather keep it a secret, and never tell anyone what's in it? Not that people would not be able to guess about some of the things on it, but still... :)
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i guess it is only fair i start first, and then people can either add on to my thoughts, rebuke them, or go into a completely different direction:
statement, controversial i guess: people can change. it doesn't happen day to day, it is not easy and requires conscious effort over a period of time, but if they want to, everyone could change most of their qualities. i could agree that there are some things that would be next to impossible to change, but those are very few and far between. from personal experience, i can say i have made myself much more outgoing and extroverted than... when i was 16, say. i still have no problem with my own company (mostly), but i am happier being with friends.
that said, would i like to know what my friends and other people i would like to think of as friends want from people? certainly! it is not completely verifiable if i would make an effort to change in all possible positive ways, but it is at least likely i would try some. why? because i want to make my friends happy :)
would i share such a list if i had one though? i think the right answer is "in parts". wouldn't work to have someone see the list and then present themselves to me as a perfect match, would it? ;-p ...but those parts would be a really big part of the list. in fact, right now i can only think of one or two things i wouldn't make public.
so.... please let me know :)