piano lesson concerns
I've been pretty unhappy and unmotivated about piano for the last week or two. I blogged about some of my concerns earlier, but these concerns have grown in strength and conviction. I'm finally going to talk with my piano teacher tomorrow about this. I was going to on Friday, but he was sick, and then today he had no time. So tomorrow is the day. The points I want to make:
Main point: I'm discouraged. I feel like what I'm doing isn't good enough and don't know how to fix it. I want to try, but don't know how. When I feel like this, I have no motivation to practice.
Subpoints:
1. What will we work on in lessons for the next few weeks/months if you only want to hear things at tempo and I need more time to learn notes?
2. In choosing new repertoire, you want to me try playing through the hard passages in Ravel and Prokofiev to make sure that I'll be able to do them. How can I do this without working on them for months?!?
3. I bet my sight reading and new material learning skills are probably worse than you think.
4. How would you work with me if I was a high school student, or a someone much less advanced? Maybe I need help with more basic stuff, remedial stuff, the note learning process, not just the fun part where we shape the music at tempo. Or maybe I just need you to have more patience with the speed I can currently go at.
I hope I leave this meeting with some sense of resolution. I'm in school, but it feels like I have nothing to ground me. That thing is supposed to be piano, but while I'm discouraged, I'm not engaged. I had an interesting observation about myself. When I am fully engaged with something, I don't feel myself pulled toward doing a hundred different things. Part of what made me realize that piano isn't working right now is how I kept being drawn to other stuff- I should sing! I should try out for the opera! Dance classes! More yoga! More circus stuff! More conducting and composition! Take up pottery again! Go rock climbing, camping, distract myself with ridiculous internet dating, organize, cook, ............ The list can go on endlessly. There was a gap that needed filling, so I kept looking to other things to fill it. I need to get this conflict with piano figured out, and soon, or I need to switch programs or quit school. What I'm doing now simply will not work.
Main point: I'm discouraged. I feel like what I'm doing isn't good enough and don't know how to fix it. I want to try, but don't know how. When I feel like this, I have no motivation to practice.
Subpoints:
1. What will we work on in lessons for the next few weeks/months if you only want to hear things at tempo and I need more time to learn notes?
2. In choosing new repertoire, you want to me try playing through the hard passages in Ravel and Prokofiev to make sure that I'll be able to do them. How can I do this without working on them for months?!?
3. I bet my sight reading and new material learning skills are probably worse than you think.
4. How would you work with me if I was a high school student, or a someone much less advanced? Maybe I need help with more basic stuff, remedial stuff, the note learning process, not just the fun part where we shape the music at tempo. Or maybe I just need you to have more patience with the speed I can currently go at.
I hope I leave this meeting with some sense of resolution. I'm in school, but it feels like I have nothing to ground me. That thing is supposed to be piano, but while I'm discouraged, I'm not engaged. I had an interesting observation about myself. When I am fully engaged with something, I don't feel myself pulled toward doing a hundred different things. Part of what made me realize that piano isn't working right now is how I kept being drawn to other stuff- I should sing! I should try out for the opera! Dance classes! More yoga! More circus stuff! More conducting and composition! Take up pottery again! Go rock climbing, camping, distract myself with ridiculous internet dating, organize, cook, ............ The list can go on endlessly. There was a gap that needed filling, so I kept looking to other things to fill it. I need to get this conflict with piano figured out, and soon, or I need to switch programs or quit school. What I'm doing now simply will not work.