My mind is a strange place, part whatever
Is crack!drabble even a word? I'm not sure, but I don't know how else to call this little bit of sillyness I've posted yesterday on slytherin100:
Disclaimer: the characters belong to JK Rowling
Title: Valentine's Day spirit, Voldy-style
Notes: Unbetaed I'm afraid. Proceed with caution.
The Death Eaters carefully avoided each other's eyes.
The Dark Lord always enjoyed ruining Valentine's day for as many people as possible. This year, he had asked Snape to prepare cauldronfuls of Hate Potion, and he now expected his faithful servants to make use of it to generate as much mayhem as they could, in both the Muggle and Wizarding Worlds.
"Surprise me!" he had cheerfully enjoined them. "Be creative! But don't forget to be back at nine p.m. sharp! We'll watch Love Actually together. There's a bloke in it who looks positively like our very own Snapey-poo. Only, older."
---
Yes, I know - I've checked - Love Actually was filmed after Voldy's demise. But once you have that idea, what else can you do than write it?
* * *
Wondering how to put their allotted dose of potion to the best - or rather, the worse - possible use, the Death Eaters now Apparated away. Over the years, Voldemort had designed a complicated system for awarding them points for such missions. Nobody would have dared saying it out loud, but it was clear that he enjoyed tormenting his followers as much as he delighted in torturing Muggles, the only difference being that his weapon against the former was mainly his twisted sense of humour.
His last Death Eater gone, Voldemort realised he was quite in the mood for visiting his beautician.
---
Where do we go from here, as would sing the whole BtVS cast? I don't want to know. I don't even want to think about it...
~Intermission~
Just a reminder that you can submit prompts until the 18th at thematic_hp for round nine: Wizarding Society and Traditions. Submit 'em here.
AND
unusuallygen is waiting for your prompts here. It's a multi-fandom community that takes plot themes which are usually associated with relationship fics, and write them as gen.
As the multi-fandom part of the explanation says, you can submit prompts for any fandom you'd like. It's just that I haven't had ideas for other things that HP so far. But from what I've read, it seems that aliens are very determined to have the SG1 teammates sleep together.
Come on, don't you itch, just for once, to see Hermione and Severus shake hands at the end of her apprenticeship, without the faintest hint that he or she would have liked the relation to evolve into something romantic? Oh... *idea* I wonder if someone would manage to write a MLC as gen? They marry, hate every bit of it, fight all their might against the Ministry until the law is repelled - but totally failing to fall in love along the way.
Harry Potter:
- Severus and Hermione reluctantly team up for a Mission To Save The World - and totally fail to fall in love along the way.
- At the eve of the final battle, two characters meet in a secluded corner of Hogwarts, and keep each other company - playing cards, or something. The beginning of a wonderful friendship, really.
- Snape faked his death at the end of the series, and moved abroad to get at last the peace and quiet he so craved. When he comes face to face with a known figure of the past, nothing shippity happens. (It takes more than a familiar face to get into Snape's bed after all...)
- Harry and Draco have a fight, and settle the matter in a duel - and all this tension between them has nothing to do with UST, and everything with trying not to throttle each other, Muggle-style.
General:
- Character A's disastrous attempts at matchmaking fail, and only serve to alienate him his friends.
- Sleeping with a friend on a drunken night proves to be as bad an idea as it seemed.
Harry Potter:
- An evening of clever and witty conversation with Snape at a social event doesn't lead Hermione to question her marriage with Ron. Snape gets invited by the couple for dinners, becomes a 'friend of the family', and even learns to enjoy playing chess with Ron.
~/Intermission~
Titre: L'esprit de la Saint-Valentin, par Voldy.
Les Mangemorts évitaient soigneusement de s'entre-regarder.
Le Seigneur des Ténèbres avait toujours aimé gâcher la Saint-Valentin d'autant de gens que possible. Cette année, il avait demandé à Snape de préparer des chaudrons de Potion de Haine, et maintenant, il attendait de ses fidèles suivants qu'ils l'utilisent pour générer autant de chaos qu'ils pouvaient, dans les mondes moldu comme sorcier.
" Surprenez-moi ! " les avait-il jovialement encouragés. " Soyez créatifs ! Mais n'oubliez pas, je vous attends ici à neuf heures tapantes. On regardera Love Actually ensemble. Il y a un type dedans qui ressemble exactement à notre cher petit Sevychounet. Mais en plus vieux. "
&&&&&
Se demandant quel serait le meilleur - ou plutôt, le pire - usage pour la dose de potion qui leur avait été allouée, les Mangemorts Transplanèrent. Au fil des années, Voldemort avait établi un système compliqué pour leur accorder des points pour les missions de ce genre. Personne n'aurait osé le dire tout haut, mais il était clair qu'il s'amusait autant à torturer ses serviteurs que les moldus, la seule différence étant que son arme contre les premiers était principalement son sens de l'humour tordu.
Son dernier Mangemort parti, Voldemort se rendit compte qu'il était assez d'humeur pour une visite chez l'esthéticienne.
Disclaimer: the characters belong to JK Rowling
Title: Valentine's Day spirit, Voldy-style
Notes: Unbetaed I'm afraid. Proceed with caution.
The Death Eaters carefully avoided each other's eyes.
The Dark Lord always enjoyed ruining Valentine's day for as many people as possible. This year, he had asked Snape to prepare cauldronfuls of Hate Potion, and he now expected his faithful servants to make use of it to generate as much mayhem as they could, in both the Muggle and Wizarding Worlds.
"Surprise me!" he had cheerfully enjoined them. "Be creative! But don't forget to be back at nine p.m. sharp! We'll watch Love Actually together. There's a bloke in it who looks positively like our very own Snapey-poo. Only, older."
---
Yes, I know - I've checked - Love Actually was filmed after Voldy's demise. But once you have that idea, what else can you do than write it?
* * *
Wondering how to put their allotted dose of potion to the best - or rather, the worse - possible use, the Death Eaters now Apparated away. Over the years, Voldemort had designed a complicated system for awarding them points for such missions. Nobody would have dared saying it out loud, but it was clear that he enjoyed tormenting his followers as much as he delighted in torturing Muggles, the only difference being that his weapon against the former was mainly his twisted sense of humour.
His last Death Eater gone, Voldemort realised he was quite in the mood for visiting his beautician.
---
Where do we go from here, as would sing the whole BtVS cast? I don't want to know. I don't even want to think about it...
~Intermission~
Just a reminder that you can submit prompts until the 18th at thematic_hp for round nine: Wizarding Society and Traditions. Submit 'em here.
AND
unusuallygen is waiting for your prompts here. It's a multi-fandom community that takes plot themes which are usually associated with relationship fics, and write them as gen.
As the multi-fandom part of the explanation says, you can submit prompts for any fandom you'd like. It's just that I haven't had ideas for other things that HP so far. But from what I've read, it seems that aliens are very determined to have the SG1 teammates sleep together.
Come on, don't you itch, just for once, to see Hermione and Severus shake hands at the end of her apprenticeship, without the faintest hint that he or she would have liked the relation to evolve into something romantic? Oh... *idea* I wonder if someone would manage to write a MLC as gen? They marry, hate every bit of it, fight all their might against the Ministry until the law is repelled - but totally failing to fall in love along the way.
Harry Potter:
- Severus and Hermione reluctantly team up for a Mission To Save The World - and totally fail to fall in love along the way.
- At the eve of the final battle, two characters meet in a secluded corner of Hogwarts, and keep each other company - playing cards, or something. The beginning of a wonderful friendship, really.
- Snape faked his death at the end of the series, and moved abroad to get at last the peace and quiet he so craved. When he comes face to face with a known figure of the past, nothing shippity happens. (It takes more than a familiar face to get into Snape's bed after all...)
- Harry and Draco have a fight, and settle the matter in a duel - and all this tension between them has nothing to do with UST, and everything with trying not to throttle each other, Muggle-style.
General:
- Character A's disastrous attempts at matchmaking fail, and only serve to alienate him his friends.
- Sleeping with a friend on a drunken night proves to be as bad an idea as it seemed.
Harry Potter:
- An evening of clever and witty conversation with Snape at a social event doesn't lead Hermione to question her marriage with Ron. Snape gets invited by the couple for dinners, becomes a 'friend of the family', and even learns to enjoy playing chess with Ron.
~/Intermission~
Titre: L'esprit de la Saint-Valentin, par Voldy.
Les Mangemorts évitaient soigneusement de s'entre-regarder.
Le Seigneur des Ténèbres avait toujours aimé gâcher la Saint-Valentin d'autant de gens que possible. Cette année, il avait demandé à Snape de préparer des chaudrons de Potion de Haine, et maintenant, il attendait de ses fidèles suivants qu'ils l'utilisent pour générer autant de chaos qu'ils pouvaient, dans les mondes moldu comme sorcier.
" Surprenez-moi ! " les avait-il jovialement encouragés. " Soyez créatifs ! Mais n'oubliez pas, je vous attends ici à neuf heures tapantes. On regardera Love Actually ensemble. Il y a un type dedans qui ressemble exactement à notre cher petit Sevychounet. Mais en plus vieux. "
&&&&&
Se demandant quel serait le meilleur - ou plutôt, le pire - usage pour la dose de potion qui leur avait été allouée, les Mangemorts Transplanèrent. Au fil des années, Voldemort avait établi un système compliqué pour leur accorder des points pour les missions de ce genre. Personne n'aurait osé le dire tout haut, mais il était clair qu'il s'amusait autant à torturer ses serviteurs que les moldus, la seule différence étant que son arme contre les premiers était principalement son sens de l'humour tordu.
Son dernier Mangemort parti, Voldemort se rendit compte qu'il était assez d'humeur pour une visite chez l'esthéticienne.