(no subject)
How are you supposed to feel when your closest friend in the world, is no longer even an aquaintence?
It all happened so swiftly, I haven't even had time to process it. Or accept it. The conversation was wrong, the timing was wrong, the response on both ends was wrong. I keep replaying it, thinking of one thing I could have said or done differently. Nothing. If I had caved and admitted it was all my fault, then there goes my dignity and pride. And despite everything, I can't let go of those two, it just wouldn't be me.
I thought maybe after a few weeks of working together again, we could work it out, but then she quit. All because she couldn't even look at me. What now? Was today the last time I'd ever see her? If we didn't see eachother everyday, we'd talk several times that day. Now there's an empty space in my day. Everyday.
Losing a friend is not a small thing. Not when you have so many memories together, so many plans together. Everyone says "Move on, it's better your differences caught up with you now instead of later." I know I will never figure out all the answers, but I know this is over, for good.
I have so many amazing friends to lean on, and they are irreplaceable. But everyone has that one friend, the one you're always comfortable around, the one you can talk to about anything, the one you can truly be yourself around. And she used to be mine.
It all happened so swiftly, I haven't even had time to process it. Or accept it. The conversation was wrong, the timing was wrong, the response on both ends was wrong. I keep replaying it, thinking of one thing I could have said or done differently. Nothing. If I had caved and admitted it was all my fault, then there goes my dignity and pride. And despite everything, I can't let go of those two, it just wouldn't be me.
I thought maybe after a few weeks of working together again, we could work it out, but then she quit. All because she couldn't even look at me. What now? Was today the last time I'd ever see her? If we didn't see eachother everyday, we'd talk several times that day. Now there's an empty space in my day. Everyday.
Losing a friend is not a small thing. Not when you have so many memories together, so many plans together. Everyone says "Move on, it's better your differences caught up with you now instead of later." I know I will never figure out all the answers, but I know this is over, for good.
I have so many amazing friends to lean on, and they are irreplaceable. But everyone has that one friend, the one you're always comfortable around, the one you can talk to about anything, the one you can truly be yourself around. And she used to be mine.