blankets of brittle green leaves

[beneaththesea]

sleet
children
sickness
bathroom
driving
tires
single
eyes
hair
height
match
walk
words
best
companion
fire
parka
grass
moses
light
reggae
smile
fall
bells
green
wood
motion
smell
games
cigarette
goodbye
drive
sleep

i moved last week.
i said goodbye to my old house tonight.
i fell into my bedroom window for the last time tonight.
i looked into the sky under that willow tree for the last time.
i walked down the hall and ten million memories flooded my body, i laid on my floor.
i walked outside and climbed the tree in the front yard.
i sat the highest i ever got when i was eleven years old.
i sat at looked around at green brittle leaves and brown, brown branches. ive never been more lonely in my life than when i said goodbye to that tree.

tonight i miss everything ive ever missed, joon in particular. that car was my first embodyment of friendship, love, freedom, and excitement. four things that right now in this chair, i dont have. in a sense, four things i'll never have back.

it's true what we say.