There you'll be (1/2)
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do NOT own JE, the lyrics, or any of the characters mentioned in this story. This is entirely fictional!
Summary: "When I think back on these times, And the dreams we left behind, I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life."
A/N: It's been a very long time since I've written so please don't brick me. >_<;
~
When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind,
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get
to have you in my life.
He glanced out of the train window at the darkening Autumn sky against the backdrop of a strange new city and leant his head against the back of the seat. Tipping his head slightly to the side Kame found his reflection staring back at him from the window.
"...the disbanding of the popular idol group KAT-TUN broke through this morning. Official representatives from Johnny's Entertainments have announced that after their national tour this summer, members of KAT-TUN will be pursuing solo activities. Members of KAT-TUN began as..."
"BEEP BEEP"
Kame jumped. Message. He glanced around the half empty carriage half embarrassed at his reaction before flicking open the mobile.
[Kazuya hope you've landed safely. Mail me and don't forget to eat. Maru says hi. Watch youself. - Koki]
Kame smiled. Ever the mother. Koki will never change, and he was glad of that. But as with anything given too easily, one only appreciates it after loss. As a band, they were never as close knit as their Kansai counterparts. He had long lost count of the number of fights they've had over the years, from the black eye he gave Ueda to the silent treatments... The strength of personalities and varying hopes and dreams in the band kept their relationships mainly professional through all these years. Kame had often wished they all meant something more to each other, but forcing it would have been fake.
Koki had always been affectionate though, and probably the most emotional. First to anger and first to cry. And between him and Nakamaru they had the parents of KAT-TUN, fussing, nagging, worrying, peace-keeping. Kame hadn't realised that what he wished for was right there all along, and he was grateful for that now, especially after that.
He glanced down again at Koki's message and his fingers hit the 'reply' key.
[Thanks Koki.]
He paused and looked at it. It felt a bit short but he wasn't really sure what else to say. Kame sometimes surprised himself at how much "Kamenashi Kazuya" differed from just "Kame". He had so carefully built an impressive shell over the lanky 14 year old that entered Johnny's Entertainment all those years ago, but yet under all that glamour, charisma and sparkles the awkward little boy still remained.
Kame looked down at his message again with knotted brow and waited for inspiration to strike. None came, so he decided to hit the 'send' key.
Koki would understand.
He frowned a little as his screen flicked sharply back to his inbox as if to tell him that his essay wasn't even worth the loading dots telling him the message had sent. Kame sighed before he scrolled down the screen. He really should clear out his inbox too and delete some of his older messages. He was finally starting afresh and breaking away from JE. Moving on and cutting ties was painful; afterall JE had been his childhood, his youth and his life all this time. But they say it's best to let go sharply and all at once.
Some of the messages on his phone were from years ago, even before they debuted. They were longer back then. Well relatively anyway. Did he have more to say? Probably not. But he supposed he had more passion back then, more youth and more time. He was surprise in some ways that he had kept all these messages. He was so efficient everywhere else in his life. But he supposed he fancied them like photographs, snapshots of a moment in time, like peeking through a keyhole into a past memory.
The first JE member he'd sent mail to was Jin.
[Jin it's Kame. I got a phone like you said. What time are you coming by tomorrow? I have baseball practice so just go if I don't come back in time. Kame.]
He never did though. In fact he was always late to rehearsals and for about a year he bore abuse for his tardiness. He gave up baseball after that. Jin had tried persuading him to play again. "But you can't give up Kame. You love baseball and you're so good at it! It's fine - the beginning of rehearsals are so boring all I would do is daydream so I might as well be late with you anyway!"
Jin was always like that. Living for the moment. Living for now. Not too bothered about the consequences as if he would just work them in. If the worst came to the worst he'd just stop. You couldn't say he didn't have a bigger plan, a "vision for the future" because he did. He knew what he wanted out of life, he just didn't know when, or cared how he got there, as long as he got there.
Like when Kame had accidently grabbed Jin's hand on their way to rehearsal for DREAM BOY. "Jin wait. You think this year will be it? You think we'll make it big this year? We're following Taki-senpai right?"
Jin had turned around with that idiotic grin on his face and replied, "Doesn't matter does it? Eitherway we still get to go to rehearsals together." He had looked down at their hands and grinned before tightening his grip. "C'mon we might actually be early for once!"
He of course did make it big following Taki-senpai. He replaced his respected senior in the lead role. Taki had taken Kame aside one afternoon and put the offer to him. He couldn't understand why him. Jin was the better singer, the better dancer, the better personality. He was even better looking. Kame had mailed Jin in confusion and got the reply immediately:
[What you hesitating for? Take it stupid. ^o^b]
Kame smiled at the message beaming back at him from the screen. Just like back then, he could still feel Jin wanting to bat him upside over the head as he was typing his reply to him.
The messages that followed that Kame kept were also mostly from Jin: asking him what time he finished, where he wanted to go for lunch, don't forget to eat, has he eaten, the game scores for the baseball matches he'd missed, that the English for prawns isn't car-shrimp and wasn't English a cool language, and how about spaghetti for lunch.
That was then followed by a period where he didn't get many messages from Jin.
But he saw him every day on set so there was no need. Neither of them went to college and hardly had a normal youth, so in many ways the period of Gokusen made up for that. They were able to go to rehearsals together, film together, learn together, piss-around together. It had inspired him to write his signature song Kizuna because at that time, Kame really thought they were going to make it big together.
That same year Kame did make it big again. He debuted.
With YamaPi.
To this day Kame remembers it well. It was tough, first drama lead and he was well away from his closest supports. He hadn't particularly got on with YamaPi at the beginning either and YamaPi hung around with Horikita Maki anyway. He'd always been a bit uncomfortable around girls, so he'd make the excuse of wanting to catch up on missed sleep rather than make conversation or break for lunch. He was tired a lot, whether from the stress of filming or the invisible pressure he constantly felt he wasn't sure.
Kame shifted slightly in his seat as his fingers scrolled through the messages from those months. He didn't get too many messages from Jin and unsurprisingly there were none from his bandmates. He did get a couple from YamaPi though:
[Jin asked if you'd eaten. I told him you were napping. He said to force feed you in your sleep.]
He hadn't found the message funny back then, but reading it now, Kame found himself chuckling. At the time they had both realised they had been the victims of a commercial decision, of matters way beyond their cushioned junior days. In just the short span of a few months Kame had suddenly found himself to have grown in years.
Kame turned to the window of the moving carriage and looked again at his own reflection. He moved a hand to touch the shadowed patches that seemed to have made a permanent home just beneath his eyes. He use to play a game with Jin where they would sit opposite each other and he would pretend to be Jin's reflection in the mirror. The first person to laugh loses and he almost always lost. But it wasn't fair, Jin would always pull Kame's mannerisms and expressions and he did them so well that he would couldn't help but laugh with embarrassment. And when he improved at the game Jin would cheat by moving closer to his 'reflection' until their heads touched, at which point Kame would laugh to hide his blush.
Kame smiled and placed his hand gently on his reflection in the window. Jin's face was warm, soft, wasn't perfect but fitted just right in his palm. He moved his hand away from the glass. It was cold. Kame folded it across his body and his eyes moved back to the message that was staring at him from his phone screen:
[As the day pass, we lost sight of things.
When you grab my hand, later, don't just simply let go of it.
Certainly for every tear cried there is a smile waiting.
Believe in yourself.]
That had been Jin's answer to 2005. Kame also realised now that that was also the year they stopped playing the reflection game.
TBC...
~
N.B: Japanese phone messaging/texting is similiar to sending e-mail hence using "messages" and "mail" interchangeably.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do NOT own JE, the lyrics, or any of the characters mentioned in this story. This is entirely fictional!
Summary: "When I think back on these times, And the dreams we left behind, I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life."
A/N: It's been a very long time since I've written so please don't brick me. >_<;
~
When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind,
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get
to have you in my life.
He glanced out of the train window at the darkening Autumn sky against the backdrop of a strange new city and leant his head against the back of the seat. Tipping his head slightly to the side Kame found his reflection staring back at him from the window.
"...the disbanding of the popular idol group KAT-TUN broke through this morning. Official representatives from Johnny's Entertainments have announced that after their national tour this summer, members of KAT-TUN will be pursuing solo activities. Members of KAT-TUN began as..."
"BEEP BEEP"
Kame jumped. Message. He glanced around the half empty carriage half embarrassed at his reaction before flicking open the mobile.
[Kazuya hope you've landed safely. Mail me and don't forget to eat. Maru says hi. Watch youself. - Koki]
Kame smiled. Ever the mother. Koki will never change, and he was glad of that. But as with anything given too easily, one only appreciates it after loss. As a band, they were never as close knit as their Kansai counterparts. He had long lost count of the number of fights they've had over the years, from the black eye he gave Ueda to the silent treatments... The strength of personalities and varying hopes and dreams in the band kept their relationships mainly professional through all these years. Kame had often wished they all meant something more to each other, but forcing it would have been fake.
Koki had always been affectionate though, and probably the most emotional. First to anger and first to cry. And between him and Nakamaru they had the parents of KAT-TUN, fussing, nagging, worrying, peace-keeping. Kame hadn't realised that what he wished for was right there all along, and he was grateful for that now, especially after that.
He glanced down again at Koki's message and his fingers hit the 'reply' key.
[Thanks Koki.]
He paused and looked at it. It felt a bit short but he wasn't really sure what else to say. Kame sometimes surprised himself at how much "Kamenashi Kazuya" differed from just "Kame". He had so carefully built an impressive shell over the lanky 14 year old that entered Johnny's Entertainment all those years ago, but yet under all that glamour, charisma and sparkles the awkward little boy still remained.
Kame looked down at his message again with knotted brow and waited for inspiration to strike. None came, so he decided to hit the 'send' key.
Koki would understand.
He frowned a little as his screen flicked sharply back to his inbox as if to tell him that his essay wasn't even worth the loading dots telling him the message had sent. Kame sighed before he scrolled down the screen. He really should clear out his inbox too and delete some of his older messages. He was finally starting afresh and breaking away from JE. Moving on and cutting ties was painful; afterall JE had been his childhood, his youth and his life all this time. But they say it's best to let go sharply and all at once.
Some of the messages on his phone were from years ago, even before they debuted. They were longer back then. Well relatively anyway. Did he have more to say? Probably not. But he supposed he had more passion back then, more youth and more time. He was surprise in some ways that he had kept all these messages. He was so efficient everywhere else in his life. But he supposed he fancied them like photographs, snapshots of a moment in time, like peeking through a keyhole into a past memory.
The first JE member he'd sent mail to was Jin.
[Jin it's Kame. I got a phone like you said. What time are you coming by tomorrow? I have baseball practice so just go if I don't come back in time. Kame.]
He never did though. In fact he was always late to rehearsals and for about a year he bore abuse for his tardiness. He gave up baseball after that. Jin had tried persuading him to play again. "But you can't give up Kame. You love baseball and you're so good at it! It's fine - the beginning of rehearsals are so boring all I would do is daydream so I might as well be late with you anyway!"
Jin was always like that. Living for the moment. Living for now. Not too bothered about the consequences as if he would just work them in. If the worst came to the worst he'd just stop. You couldn't say he didn't have a bigger plan, a "vision for the future" because he did. He knew what he wanted out of life, he just didn't know when, or cared how he got there, as long as he got there.
Like when Kame had accidently grabbed Jin's hand on their way to rehearsal for DREAM BOY. "Jin wait. You think this year will be it? You think we'll make it big this year? We're following Taki-senpai right?"
Jin had turned around with that idiotic grin on his face and replied, "Doesn't matter does it? Eitherway we still get to go to rehearsals together." He had looked down at their hands and grinned before tightening his grip. "C'mon we might actually be early for once!"
He of course did make it big following Taki-senpai. He replaced his respected senior in the lead role. Taki had taken Kame aside one afternoon and put the offer to him. He couldn't understand why him. Jin was the better singer, the better dancer, the better personality. He was even better looking. Kame had mailed Jin in confusion and got the reply immediately:
[What you hesitating for? Take it stupid. ^o^b]
Kame smiled at the message beaming back at him from the screen. Just like back then, he could still feel Jin wanting to bat him upside over the head as he was typing his reply to him.
The messages that followed that Kame kept were also mostly from Jin: asking him what time he finished, where he wanted to go for lunch, don't forget to eat, has he eaten, the game scores for the baseball matches he'd missed, that the English for prawns isn't car-shrimp and wasn't English a cool language, and how about spaghetti for lunch.
That was then followed by a period where he didn't get many messages from Jin.
But he saw him every day on set so there was no need. Neither of them went to college and hardly had a normal youth, so in many ways the period of Gokusen made up for that. They were able to go to rehearsals together, film together, learn together, piss-around together. It had inspired him to write his signature song Kizuna because at that time, Kame really thought they were going to make it big together.
That same year Kame did make it big again. He debuted.
With YamaPi.
To this day Kame remembers it well. It was tough, first drama lead and he was well away from his closest supports. He hadn't particularly got on with YamaPi at the beginning either and YamaPi hung around with Horikita Maki anyway. He'd always been a bit uncomfortable around girls, so he'd make the excuse of wanting to catch up on missed sleep rather than make conversation or break for lunch. He was tired a lot, whether from the stress of filming or the invisible pressure he constantly felt he wasn't sure.
Kame shifted slightly in his seat as his fingers scrolled through the messages from those months. He didn't get too many messages from Jin and unsurprisingly there were none from his bandmates. He did get a couple from YamaPi though:
[Jin asked if you'd eaten. I told him you were napping. He said to force feed you in your sleep.]
He hadn't found the message funny back then, but reading it now, Kame found himself chuckling. At the time they had both realised they had been the victims of a commercial decision, of matters way beyond their cushioned junior days. In just the short span of a few months Kame had suddenly found himself to have grown in years.
Kame turned to the window of the moving carriage and looked again at his own reflection. He moved a hand to touch the shadowed patches that seemed to have made a permanent home just beneath his eyes. He use to play a game with Jin where they would sit opposite each other and he would pretend to be Jin's reflection in the mirror. The first person to laugh loses and he almost always lost. But it wasn't fair, Jin would always pull Kame's mannerisms and expressions and he did them so well that he would couldn't help but laugh with embarrassment. And when he improved at the game Jin would cheat by moving closer to his 'reflection' until their heads touched, at which point Kame would laugh to hide his blush.
Kame smiled and placed his hand gently on his reflection in the window. Jin's face was warm, soft, wasn't perfect but fitted just right in his palm. He moved his hand away from the glass. It was cold. Kame folded it across his body and his eyes moved back to the message that was staring at him from his phone screen:
[As the day pass, we lost sight of things.
When you grab my hand, later, don't just simply let go of it.
Certainly for every tear cried there is a smile waiting.
Believe in yourself.]
That had been Jin's answer to 2005. Kame also realised now that that was also the year they stopped playing the reflection game.
TBC...
~
N.B: Japanese phone messaging/texting is similiar to sending e-mail hence using "messages" and "mail" interchangeably.