introducing forevers . .
yesterday night i had one of those panic attacks that im so good at. but iuno. i like how he doesn't let me get off the phone so he'd be there when i loose all the steam. he's got this way that makes me never want to be without him. because, truthfully, we can't stay upset at eachother for very long. in the end, we still love eachother.
umm. weird thing about last night was the serious "kinda scary" question. i like to pretend that im scared of committment because he is. but the truth is, we both know that we're not really scared at all. or maybe we were, maybe we were scared of commitment. but we're not scared anymore. when commitment comes up between me and him, im not scared. i funny thing is that i feel completely safe.
i think the only reason why im such a punk about the whole thing is that i know how confusing it'll be. how hard it'll be. we're so different? umm. but i guess all good things are a bit hard. he says, "what if it's in a garden or something?" haha. compromising i suppose. thats how it'll work. well i dont even know if it's really compromise. so far it seems like we fit so perfectly with eachother. maybe i'm just scared that we'd have to face something so big that would make us not really fit and i guess this just seems like the big lurking monster that may do it. we'll see how it turns out.
oh, and how fun it is to freak out when he says forever. haha. im not really freaked out about that either. but it's funny to pretend because it kind of pokes fun at how funny we were before. umm. i moved to college and he tells me he loves me. we start off the new year and now all this. how interesting.
today was fun. went jogging. im so out of shape. or maybe i was feeling really sick. my stomach felt like it was going to explode. i wanted to puke. my head was throbbing. my throat was burning. you know. all that fun stuff. ralph brought eve and i got to walk her home. i felt yuckie. he cooked me breakfast and i cleaned his mess. it was cute. boyfriend with a pan and a spatula. what could be cuter, right?? how about the way he says i love you.
hmm. tomorrow is going to be interesting. im tired and feel icky. hopefully will feel better. goodnight
umm. weird thing about last night was the serious "kinda scary" question. i like to pretend that im scared of committment because he is. but the truth is, we both know that we're not really scared at all. or maybe we were, maybe we were scared of commitment. but we're not scared anymore. when commitment comes up between me and him, im not scared. i funny thing is that i feel completely safe.
i think the only reason why im such a punk about the whole thing is that i know how confusing it'll be. how hard it'll be. we're so different? umm. but i guess all good things are a bit hard. he says, "what if it's in a garden or something?" haha. compromising i suppose. thats how it'll work. well i dont even know if it's really compromise. so far it seems like we fit so perfectly with eachother. maybe i'm just scared that we'd have to face something so big that would make us not really fit and i guess this just seems like the big lurking monster that may do it. we'll see how it turns out.
oh, and how fun it is to freak out when he says forever. haha. im not really freaked out about that either. but it's funny to pretend because it kind of pokes fun at how funny we were before. umm. i moved to college and he tells me he loves me. we start off the new year and now all this. how interesting.
today was fun. went jogging. im so out of shape. or maybe i was feeling really sick. my stomach felt like it was going to explode. i wanted to puke. my head was throbbing. my throat was burning. you know. all that fun stuff. ralph brought eve and i got to walk her home. i felt yuckie. he cooked me breakfast and i cleaned his mess. it was cute. boyfriend with a pan and a spatula. what could be cuter, right?? how about the way he says i love you.
hmm. tomorrow is going to be interesting. im tired and feel icky. hopefully will feel better. goodnight