So this is my statement that I'm in control again and happy with where I am.
Well since it's half way through summer, I guess I will treat you all with an update. Yes, a real one.
Well too much has happened since i last really wrote in this thing, I still hate it just as much though.
Yea so like I was saying in a previous, short, post that so much has happend, changed, in my life that I don't even know where to begin at this point. So many memories have been shared, there is no possable way to recall them all in here. To just give you a quick idea, my sister went to Kenya for 5 weeks, my brother went then came back from OCS, I graduated, has a great party, went to Europe, saw really old friends, Mena moved away probably forever :(, and now am about to start my college education at a place i don't really wanna be but have no choice really.
So yea, I graduated, i really did. I must say it wasnt completely without any help, hehe. But I got outta there non the less. I really don't think I know anyone else who did as little work to get through high school as i did, and i did, and im lovin it! So to move on from that. After we got outta school, the first couple weeks of summer was so much fun, i think i hung out with friends every nite. That nite at the baseball mound with everyone was truly a memorable experience, and im so glad we could all have been there, even the one who disappeared from us for a really long time, reappeard for a short period of time before disappearing again. But yea, it was even made complete with a shooting star. I think that leaving high school is great, it's just the every day interaction with the people I call friends, and knowing that some of those people i probably will never see again. But im keeping my hopes up, and trying to make it a point to see people that i really care about, and i really dont wanna lose touch, plus i just wont let that happen. But I am most definitly going to miss the corner, I love those guys so much. I know that i will keep in contact with most of them, they are like some of my closest friends. (speaking of I should probably call Micah) Anyway, so moving on.
Summer is fucking awsome, i love it. At the begining like i said there was a lot of hangin out. Then all that graduation shit went down, the parties etc. And that was all a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun at mine, I'm glad so many people could come. Then I had a couple weeks to prepare for Europe. Hung out a couple times with Marie, I love her to death and I was so touched by what she wrote on the back of her picture to me and i completely feel that same way. Went to Marie, Christina, Christa's open house and saw some super old friends that I thought never wanted to talk to me again, but did and i was really happy to talk to all of them. Some people never change though, and others are completely opposite. So once all those people get back in town, i suggested a hang out session occur. But who knows maybe ill just call the people up and be like, hey lets hang out.
Summer didn't bring a summer fling this year. Last years was quite a rollercoaster, so in a way I'm glad. Summer does bring back memories though, sometimes they hurt actually, but other times i just have to smile. I can't believe its already been a year. That whole situation was kinda fucked, but what do you do? You move on, you pick yourself up, and brush the dust off. Fuck everything else, just worry about yourself. And that's what I've learned to do. Last summer all summer i was so happy, so completely content with everything in my life, then a boy decides to come along and jumble things up a bit, and my contentment changed, against my will. But this summer has changed me, almost back to what i was, only different. 3 weeks in Europe was exactly what i needed, it was perfect. It opened up my eyes, and showed me there is more to life then my little corner that is labeled 'stephanies life'. So this is my statement that I'm in control again and happy with where I am, i can move on without someone in my life, cause me is all i need.
So moving on from that boring subject. School starts in a little over a month, and i so don't wanna go to LCC. I mean i know everyone says that its just such a great place to start, and blah blah blah. But honestly almost everyone i use to go to school with is going there, and tons of people from my hs are going there, and its gonna be one big reunion of people i know. This should be interesting, who knows though maybe i wont see them everyday? Anyway, I'm gonna do my year there, and get outta here. Well at least outta there.
Anyway, Mena moved yesterday. I didnt cry and I wasnt sad. But now that I start thinking about it, it really sux a lot. I mean i know im gonna see her, and visit a lot. Its just the everyday things. Her being here when i come home, or her just walking in because she has a key to the house, asking why she isnt there for holiday dinners because shes part of the family and getting the responce 'stehanie, she does have her own family remember'. Thats how its gonna be every day now, 'wheres mena?', oh yea she lives bout 6 hours away now. Oh well, what are you going to do. Who knows I might end up in chicago, then she'll only be 3 hours away.
Last nite was the release of the 6th harry potter book. Of course i went to schulers at midnite to get it. I was gonna go with just my mom because well, i couldnt think of anyone who would really wanna go anyway. But, an old friend called, it was completely unexpected to see his picture on my fone when i picked it up to answer. But we made plans to meet up at schulers. Wow did memories come flooding back of the last harry potter release when we all went to Howell with Mena and Katie, and then to schulers for the release party. It's hard to believe that was so long ago. It made me smile to think that he thought to call me, i was happy to see him, its been too long since we hung out and we need to more. The only bad thing, as i was waiting in excitment for the new one, was remembering the feelings i had that nite, they weren't good. I mean i can laugh about some things, but overall that nite gives me feelings i dont like to remember. Anyway movieing on, i was happy to see him, and his friends are really nice. I'm definitly planning on giving him a call, that is if he doesnt call me.
I'm sure there is more to tell and i could go on forever cause its been so long. But i just got the new Harry Potter book, and I'm hungry, and I just don't feel like doing this anymore. so maybe a little later.
some quote I'm listening to:
"Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept"
"the story is incomplete.
The pictures’ left unfinished.
So I am writing my own ending.
I’ll let my pen bleed black or blue.
And I will color in the meaning.
It will be gold and green and true.
And I’ll learn to love my new discovered proof.
I’ll be grateful for this day.
I will be grateful for each day to come."
'I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for.'
Well too much has happened since i last really wrote in this thing, I still hate it just as much though.
Yea so like I was saying in a previous, short, post that so much has happend, changed, in my life that I don't even know where to begin at this point. So many memories have been shared, there is no possable way to recall them all in here. To just give you a quick idea, my sister went to Kenya for 5 weeks, my brother went then came back from OCS, I graduated, has a great party, went to Europe, saw really old friends, Mena moved away probably forever :(, and now am about to start my college education at a place i don't really wanna be but have no choice really.
So yea, I graduated, i really did. I must say it wasnt completely without any help, hehe. But I got outta there non the less. I really don't think I know anyone else who did as little work to get through high school as i did, and i did, and im lovin it! So to move on from that. After we got outta school, the first couple weeks of summer was so much fun, i think i hung out with friends every nite. That nite at the baseball mound with everyone was truly a memorable experience, and im so glad we could all have been there, even the one who disappeared from us for a really long time, reappeard for a short period of time before disappearing again. But yea, it was even made complete with a shooting star. I think that leaving high school is great, it's just the every day interaction with the people I call friends, and knowing that some of those people i probably will never see again. But im keeping my hopes up, and trying to make it a point to see people that i really care about, and i really dont wanna lose touch, plus i just wont let that happen. But I am most definitly going to miss the corner, I love those guys so much. I know that i will keep in contact with most of them, they are like some of my closest friends. (speaking of I should probably call Micah) Anyway, so moving on.
Summer is fucking awsome, i love it. At the begining like i said there was a lot of hangin out. Then all that graduation shit went down, the parties etc. And that was all a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun at mine, I'm glad so many people could come. Then I had a couple weeks to prepare for Europe. Hung out a couple times with Marie, I love her to death and I was so touched by what she wrote on the back of her picture to me and i completely feel that same way. Went to Marie, Christina, Christa's open house and saw some super old friends that I thought never wanted to talk to me again, but did and i was really happy to talk to all of them. Some people never change though, and others are completely opposite. So once all those people get back in town, i suggested a hang out session occur. But who knows maybe ill just call the people up and be like, hey lets hang out.
Summer didn't bring a summer fling this year. Last years was quite a rollercoaster, so in a way I'm glad. Summer does bring back memories though, sometimes they hurt actually, but other times i just have to smile. I can't believe its already been a year. That whole situation was kinda fucked, but what do you do? You move on, you pick yourself up, and brush the dust off. Fuck everything else, just worry about yourself. And that's what I've learned to do. Last summer all summer i was so happy, so completely content with everything in my life, then a boy decides to come along and jumble things up a bit, and my contentment changed, against my will. But this summer has changed me, almost back to what i was, only different. 3 weeks in Europe was exactly what i needed, it was perfect. It opened up my eyes, and showed me there is more to life then my little corner that is labeled 'stephanies life'. So this is my statement that I'm in control again and happy with where I am, i can move on without someone in my life, cause me is all i need.
So moving on from that boring subject. School starts in a little over a month, and i so don't wanna go to LCC. I mean i know everyone says that its just such a great place to start, and blah blah blah. But honestly almost everyone i use to go to school with is going there, and tons of people from my hs are going there, and its gonna be one big reunion of people i know. This should be interesting, who knows though maybe i wont see them everyday? Anyway, I'm gonna do my year there, and get outta here. Well at least outta there.
Anyway, Mena moved yesterday. I didnt cry and I wasnt sad. But now that I start thinking about it, it really sux a lot. I mean i know im gonna see her, and visit a lot. Its just the everyday things. Her being here when i come home, or her just walking in because she has a key to the house, asking why she isnt there for holiday dinners because shes part of the family and getting the responce 'stehanie, she does have her own family remember'. Thats how its gonna be every day now, 'wheres mena?', oh yea she lives bout 6 hours away now. Oh well, what are you going to do. Who knows I might end up in chicago, then she'll only be 3 hours away.
Last nite was the release of the 6th harry potter book. Of course i went to schulers at midnite to get it. I was gonna go with just my mom because well, i couldnt think of anyone who would really wanna go anyway. But, an old friend called, it was completely unexpected to see his picture on my fone when i picked it up to answer. But we made plans to meet up at schulers. Wow did memories come flooding back of the last harry potter release when we all went to Howell with Mena and Katie, and then to schulers for the release party. It's hard to believe that was so long ago. It made me smile to think that he thought to call me, i was happy to see him, its been too long since we hung out and we need to more. The only bad thing, as i was waiting in excitment for the new one, was remembering the feelings i had that nite, they weren't good. I mean i can laugh about some things, but overall that nite gives me feelings i dont like to remember. Anyway movieing on, i was happy to see him, and his friends are really nice. I'm definitly planning on giving him a call, that is if he doesnt call me.
I'm sure there is more to tell and i could go on forever cause its been so long. But i just got the new Harry Potter book, and I'm hungry, and I just don't feel like doing this anymore. so maybe a little later.
some quote I'm listening to:
"Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept"
"the story is incomplete.
The pictures’ left unfinished.
So I am writing my own ending.
I’ll let my pen bleed black or blue.
And I will color in the meaning.
It will be gold and green and true.
And I’ll learn to love my new discovered proof.
I’ll be grateful for this day.
I will be grateful for each day to come."
'I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for.'