Fic: Safe (Tales of Symphonia)
Title: Safe
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 0.5k
Warnings: Spoilers for Regal's background
Beta: vyctori
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Summary: There are different types of safety. He'll swap the one for the other.
They made him feel safe. There were more reasons for keeping them than that, but they did make him feel safe. He needed that.
It wasn't a feeling of safety in the traditional sense of the word "safe". In fact, in the traditional sense of the word, they were nearly making him less safe. He'd come over that obstacle, and even despite that, they still made him feel safe.
It was senseless, it was selfish, it was a feeling he didn't deserve.
And still he clung to it.
There were nights when he woke, when he could think of nothing else.
Murderer.
He was safe.
Murderer.
Never again.
Murderer.
Those were the nights he kept watch for the group, nights when sleep was an escape he didn't deserve, would never receive. And as he sat with his back to the campfire, the memories would flock around him, taunt him, torment him.
"I'll be fine. They say it's perfectly safe..."
It hadn't been. He hadn't been.
"What're you in for? Theft for me. Baldy over there's a rapist, both genders. Stay ten feet away from 'em and you should be safe."
Even in prison, even behind those bars, he hadn't been safe. There was no such thing as true safety, for him.
Not anymore.
"You're not going to last another coliseum battle. I don't care if you can scare other prisoners; it's not safe to go out there if you can't fight. Let me teach you."
That man had taken his safety away and given it to him at the same time.
He had been given life.
And at the same time, he had been given death.
"You don't need those shackles."
But he did. He did in more ways than he could say, or even understand. There was a part of him that knew it was madness, staying how he was.
Yet if he were to change, he would no longer be safe.
"Good. You're improving. At the very least, you should be able to defend yourself now."
He was already less than safe, becoming less by the day.
"I'm not going to mess with you! I promise! I was joking, really! You don't have to worry about me! You can sleep safe!"
It was when he was awake that he wasn't safe.
"Do you want to know something else I love about you? You make me feel so safe, like nothing could ever hurt me."
...It was those memories that hurt the most. One hurt for another. He deserved it. He deserved worse.
Murderer.
Never again.
Murderer.
Never again, not with his hands.
Murderer.
In this journey, it would be impossible for him not to kill again. Even killing Vharley, Vharley who surely deserved death, even that was a sin. And yet, with his hands bound...
He was safe.
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 0.5k
Warnings: Spoilers for Regal's background
Beta: vyctori
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Summary: There are different types of safety. He'll swap the one for the other.
They made him feel safe. There were more reasons for keeping them than that, but they did make him feel safe. He needed that.
It wasn't a feeling of safety in the traditional sense of the word "safe". In fact, in the traditional sense of the word, they were nearly making him less safe. He'd come over that obstacle, and even despite that, they still made him feel safe.
It was senseless, it was selfish, it was a feeling he didn't deserve.
And still he clung to it.
There were nights when he woke, when he could think of nothing else.
Murderer.
He was safe.
Murderer.
Never again.
Murderer.
Those were the nights he kept watch for the group, nights when sleep was an escape he didn't deserve, would never receive. And as he sat with his back to the campfire, the memories would flock around him, taunt him, torment him.
"I'll be fine. They say it's perfectly safe..."
It hadn't been. He hadn't been.
"What're you in for? Theft for me. Baldy over there's a rapist, both genders. Stay ten feet away from 'em and you should be safe."
Even in prison, even behind those bars, he hadn't been safe. There was no such thing as true safety, for him.
Not anymore.
"You're not going to last another coliseum battle. I don't care if you can scare other prisoners; it's not safe to go out there if you can't fight. Let me teach you."
That man had taken his safety away and given it to him at the same time.
He had been given life.
And at the same time, he had been given death.
"You don't need those shackles."
But he did. He did in more ways than he could say, or even understand. There was a part of him that knew it was madness, staying how he was.
Yet if he were to change, he would no longer be safe.
"Good. You're improving. At the very least, you should be able to defend yourself now."
He was already less than safe, becoming less by the day.
"I'm not going to mess with you! I promise! I was joking, really! You don't have to worry about me! You can sleep safe!"
It was when he was awake that he wasn't safe.
"Do you want to know something else I love about you? You make me feel so safe, like nothing could ever hurt me."
...It was those memories that hurt the most. One hurt for another. He deserved it. He deserved worse.
Murderer.
Never again.
Murderer.
Never again, not with his hands.
Murderer.
In this journey, it would be impossible for him not to kill again. Even killing Vharley, Vharley who surely deserved death, even that was a sin. And yet, with his hands bound...
He was safe.