I told you I was brave but I lied*
I think maybe the Dodos of Doom have undergone some sort of horrible mutation and turned into the Angry Dodos of Rage. (For those who are not familiar with the Dodos of Doom, they're basically what I call depression - not in the clinical, diagnosed sense, mind you, just in the "this ticks a lot of the ticky-boxes and oh gods it doesn't matter anyway because everything sucks Imma go crawl into a hole now" sense.)
But now I'm just...irritable. Little annoyances seem to rub me raw and then douse on the salt of full measure. (And of course, because these mutated dodos following me around are still, at their heart, DoDs, there's that lovely little undercurrent of "what is the point?!" and "all my life decisions, let me show you them and mock and curse them simultaneously for the fuck-ups and dead-ends they are".)
It doesn't help that the work I'm doing now - which I've been working on for more than a month and will just not die - is repetitious, detail-oriented and, above all, boring. Mainly it's checking and double-checking things, formatting other things, and I end up silently screaming at the computer screen, hoping it might reach the section's author and somehow they'll hear a road of, "You can't use et al. in a reference section!" or "You can't just write down the last two authors of an article as the only authors!" and the chorus of "If you're going to do such a half-assed job of it, just don't do it at all! Now I have to fix it and you still get the credit of having done what you'd call an epic amount of work when really it is so lacking in epic it doesn't know what a Viking helmet looks like!" (Well, that's what it translated to. Mostly it's just a lot of *fingers claw at the air* and *keyboard smash* and then some *headdesk*.)
(Except now now - as I'm apparently writing this post over the course of one week - work also involves things like, "Oh, I don't like that bit, let's completely replace it with *handwaves* *vagues it up* You figure something out," being said to me. Which, yays.)
Home life with the folks isn't faring well with these Dodos, who are both instigating events and reacting to what is sheer massive "this does not compute" being thrown at them from the folks. I won't go into it because then I'd have to think about it, but would it kill my parents (well, mother, mainly) to be a linear thinker and not extrapulate things out of context and into hysterics and also possibly not think that just because I use a word that means I mean all of its four definitions down to a fucking t? See? That's me not going into it.
So between bouts of inwardly capslocking at everything and everyone in a non-squeeful way and thinking over how where I am is not where I want to be and how I should have turned down a thousand other roads to go to other, better lives, I'm also thinking about The Future. Yes, in all it's capitalizaed glory. The bloody, painful sort of glory. The one where I think that I haven't updated my CV, much less started sending out emails or checking on job boards, and it's September now and I've got less than three months left of this internship and the last time I was looking for a job it took me over a year and a half and in that time I only ever got two positive responses and a volunteer thing at a place with four other people. One year and a half for two job responses. One year and a half of endless searching of job posting and cryinng into the keyboard, double-guessing myself because I couldn't apply to anything because I had no applicable skills and everything was just useless and pointless and oh look at the pretty little Dodos coming to eat me.
Then there's the random Horrible No Good Very Bad days, like the one I had today, were I:
1) had an anxiety mini-freak-out,
2) having only a pathetic measly salad for lunch because there's nothing interesting at the cafeteria anymore and ye gods I'm never weighed this much have you seen me?!?,
3) watched the opening screening of Organization's Film, which was basically about how we're destroying the planet and we're all going to die, which left me seriously considering the benefits of leaving the screening mid-way and going to cry in a corner, and
4) my making the mistake of checking - and answering - my email instead of leaving work directly after the film, because it was past my leave-by hour anyway, and my supervisor calling and my To Do list growing exponentially, and finally
5) getting home an hour late and starving and with my desire to run - which I'd been nursing into pro-activeness all day - dying a slow, painful death, and then some stupid misunderstanding meaning I sat in my room while mom had dinner and then I said fuck this shit so I went running anyway even though I was starving and hadn't run in months and it felt like my femurs were bleeding, except
6) Now I am bleeding and I have cramps and with my luck they'll be truly epic tonight and there goes my sleep. Fuck all this shit.
Meme: 30-Day Original Story Development Challenge
Here is a 30 day original story development challenge. It can be filled by prose or illustration or comic or even just script, whatever works for you and how you’ll be displaying the setting. Feel free to reveal as much or as little as you want.
Day 15 - Continued - What is a character's bad habit?
Chip was a social smoker for a few years in college - Fridays and parties, noisey bars and cold mindnight streets. He never really liked smoking all that much and needed it less, just liked how it gave him something to do, something to hold, let him stand and watch and think without questioned by others.
When the apocalypse started and he saw a pack lying on the asphalt, crushed under a bootmark, cigarettes strewn on the ground like they'd seen a party and not a masacre, he thought, Why the hell not?, and scooped them up. Now he smoked on the road, alone, with no pattern or ritual. It still gave him something to do.
Day 16 - What was a character's first romantic and/or sexual encounter like?
Day 17 - What are popular sports and hobbies in your setting?
Day 18 - What would your protagonist do if they saw your antagonist on the street?
Day 19 - What would your antagonist do if they saw your protagonist on the street?
Day 20 - Demonstrate a character and their best friend and/or love interest interacting as they most commonly do.
Day 21 - What is a character's deepest desire?
Day 22 - What animals appear in your setting?
Day 23 - A unique place in your setting.
Day 24 - Where did you draw inspiration for the setting/story from?
Day 25 - A character's proudest moment.
Day 26 - What special talents or abilities does a character have?
Day 27 - An average day to a character.
Day 28 - A character's most embrassing moment.
Day 29 - An important thematic element.
Day 30 - A major event in the setting's history.
Links of the Day:
Supernatural:
YouTube's Misha Interview, 1 of 3
Doctor Who:
Sherlock:
Other Fandom:
Sublunarymagic's Suits Introductory Post
Random:
ZOMGitsCriss' We're not racists, but... - Thank you, Criss, for laying the smackdown when all I can do is flail and asdflkj. Also, OMFG that other person's views, I just can't. When she got to her "segregation and apartheid for the win!" bit I just, gah. AND THE OTHER GUY! He said, "special zones or reservations" and I said, "Fuck you!" And then he's all, "as far as permitted by climatic conditions" and "mini-jungles" and "authentically African way of life". Jesus fuck, it just keeps getting worse. Even Criss can't comment on this shit: "I get too aggravated and it's just...bad."
* "How Much More", Stars
But now I'm just...irritable. Little annoyances seem to rub me raw and then douse on the salt of full measure. (And of course, because these mutated dodos following me around are still, at their heart, DoDs, there's that lovely little undercurrent of "what is the point?!" and "all my life decisions, let me show you them and mock and curse them simultaneously for the fuck-ups and dead-ends they are".)
It doesn't help that the work I'm doing now - which I've been working on for more than a month and will just not die - is repetitious, detail-oriented and, above all, boring. Mainly it's checking and double-checking things, formatting other things, and I end up silently screaming at the computer screen, hoping it might reach the section's author and somehow they'll hear a road of, "You can't use et al. in a reference section!" or "You can't just write down the last two authors of an article as the only authors!" and the chorus of "If you're going to do such a half-assed job of it, just don't do it at all! Now I have to fix it and you still get the credit of having done what you'd call an epic amount of work when really it is so lacking in epic it doesn't know what a Viking helmet looks like!" (Well, that's what it translated to. Mostly it's just a lot of *fingers claw at the air* and *keyboard smash* and then some *headdesk*.)
(Except now now - as I'm apparently writing this post over the course of one week - work also involves things like, "Oh, I don't like that bit, let's completely replace it with *handwaves* *vagues it up* You figure something out," being said to me. Which, yays.)
Home life with the folks isn't faring well with these Dodos, who are both instigating events and reacting to what is sheer massive "this does not compute" being thrown at them from the folks. I won't go into it because then I'd have to think about it, but would it kill my parents (well, mother, mainly) to be a linear thinker and not extrapulate things out of context and into hysterics and also possibly not think that just because I use a word that means I mean all of its four definitions down to a fucking t? See? That's me not going into it.
So between bouts of inwardly capslocking at everything and everyone in a non-squeeful way and thinking over how where I am is not where I want to be and how I should have turned down a thousand other roads to go to other, better lives, I'm also thinking about The Future. Yes, in all it's capitalizaed glory. The bloody, painful sort of glory. The one where I think that I haven't updated my CV, much less started sending out emails or checking on job boards, and it's September now and I've got less than three months left of this internship and the last time I was looking for a job it took me over a year and a half and in that time I only ever got two positive responses and a volunteer thing at a place with four other people. One year and a half for two job responses. One year and a half of endless searching of job posting and cryinng into the keyboard, double-guessing myself because I couldn't apply to anything because I had no applicable skills and everything was just useless and pointless and oh look at the pretty little Dodos coming to eat me.
Then there's the random Horrible No Good Very Bad days, like the one I had today, were I:
1) had an anxiety mini-freak-out,
2) having only a pathetic measly salad for lunch because there's nothing interesting at the cafeteria anymore and ye gods I'm never weighed this much have you seen me?!?,
3) watched the opening screening of Organization's Film, which was basically about how we're destroying the planet and we're all going to die, which left me seriously considering the benefits of leaving the screening mid-way and going to cry in a corner, and
4) my making the mistake of checking - and answering - my email instead of leaving work directly after the film, because it was past my leave-by hour anyway, and my supervisor calling and my To Do list growing exponentially, and finally
5) getting home an hour late and starving and with my desire to run - which I'd been nursing into pro-activeness all day - dying a slow, painful death, and then some stupid misunderstanding meaning I sat in my room while mom had dinner and then I said fuck this shit so I went running anyway even though I was starving and hadn't run in months and it felt like my femurs were bleeding, except
6) Now I am bleeding and I have cramps and with my luck they'll be truly epic tonight and there goes my sleep. Fuck all this shit.
Meme: 30-Day Original Story Development Challenge
Here is a 30 day original story development challenge. It can be filled by prose or illustration or comic or even just script, whatever works for you and how you’ll be displaying the setting. Feel free to reveal as much or as little as you want.
Day 15 - Continued - What is a character's bad habit?
Chip was a social smoker for a few years in college - Fridays and parties, noisey bars and cold mindnight streets. He never really liked smoking all that much and needed it less, just liked how it gave him something to do, something to hold, let him stand and watch and think without questioned by others.
When the apocalypse started and he saw a pack lying on the asphalt, crushed under a bootmark, cigarettes strewn on the ground like they'd seen a party and not a masacre, he thought, Why the hell not?, and scooped them up. Now he smoked on the road, alone, with no pattern or ritual. It still gave him something to do.
Day 16 - What was a character's first romantic and/or sexual encounter like?
Day 17 - What are popular sports and hobbies in your setting?
Day 18 - What would your protagonist do if they saw your antagonist on the street?
Day 19 - What would your antagonist do if they saw your protagonist on the street?
Day 20 - Demonstrate a character and their best friend and/or love interest interacting as they most commonly do.
Day 21 - What is a character's deepest desire?
Day 22 - What animals appear in your setting?
Day 23 - A unique place in your setting.
Day 24 - Where did you draw inspiration for the setting/story from?
Day 25 - A character's proudest moment.
Day 26 - What special talents or abilities does a character have?
Day 27 - An average day to a character.
Day 28 - A character's most embrassing moment.
Day 29 - An important thematic element.
Day 30 - A major event in the setting's history.
Links of the Day:
Supernatural:
YouTube's Misha Interview, 1 of 3
- Eastcollins's Macros Seasons 1-6, Summarized in one sentence ; Meta Castiel dying just represents all this shit we're sick of
- Newton_pulsifer's Doctor Who Crossover GIF Finding Jimmy
Doctor Who:
- Newton_pilsifer's GIF and Text Hello again, sexy
Sherlock:
- Tacoface's Fanart Sherlock Silhouettes ; Mug Fandom memes
Other Fandom:
Sublunarymagic's Suits Introductory Post
- Tumblr's regards-draco
- Newton_pulsifer's American Gods Minimalist poster ; Good Omens Fanart Funny if we both got it wrong, eh?"
- Crowleyismyco-pilot>'s Lady in a Box GIFs Mark Sheppard in the bloopers
Random:
ZOMGitsCriss' We're not racists, but... - Thank you, Criss, for laying the smackdown when all I can do is flail and asdflkj. Also, OMFG that other person's views, I just can't. When she got to her "segregation and apartheid for the win!" bit I just, gah. AND THE OTHER GUY! He said, "special zones or reservations" and I said, "Fuck you!" And then he's all, "as far as permitted by climatic conditions" and "mini-jungles" and "authentically African way of life". Jesus fuck, it just keeps getting worse. Even Criss can't comment on this shit: "I get too aggravated and it's just...bad."
- Eastcollins' Macro Greenland vs. Iceland - It's a cunning ploy by the inhabitants to discourage invasions!
- Newton_pulsifer's Quote All fundamentalisms seek to control female sexuality ; Text There is no wrong way to have a body ; GIFs Google celebrating Freddie Mercury's birthday
- Oxymoronish's Graphics The many ways to lace up shoes
* "How Much More", Stars