Time to explain evolution to the monkeys.*
I've been going back to a few old obsessions of mine lately. I've been back to the dmeb2, checked out the message board and squeed at recognizing names and signature lines. (ScottMaul! MaulMaus!) Oh, how I miss lurking there... I may've posted, what, twice? (Black Aliss was I.)
I've also gone through the Planet of the Apes 2001 (trailer) sites, cursing the idiot who took the official site down. (I'll never forgive 'em. It was so chocak-a-block full of stuff! Info!)
I don't quite know how to explain what I feel for this movie. It's a really frustrating movie for me to watch, I'll rant at it incessantly (and seriously, I need to record an ongoing-rant because I pick the shit out of it - and you thought Momo needed a Science Stick beating), but... There's some bits where I feel like forgiving it everything. (Oh, Tim Roth, you beautiful man you.)
Paul Oakenfold Rule the Planet Remix Music Video:
But anyway, rant a-hoy. This is an easy rant, because it's about the ending. Not what I consider the ending, because my brain blanks out the last five minutes of the film, but the actual ending nonetheless. I don't even try ranting at the ending usually, because it's just so beyond everything... See? It makes me incoherent, that's how fucked up it is.
Now, evadne_noel once described it in her Breadbox Edition (which she's totally welcome to start doing again pleasepleaseplease):
MARK flies off toward THE ENDING. THE ENDING runs MARK down, and then promptly sits on the AUDIENCE'S head.
This is completely accurate. (If you haven't watched the movie, I'm afraid YouTube can't help with the head-sitting. Alas.)
Anyway, why am I in rant-mode? Some people think the ending made sense. Some people obviously weren't watching the same movie I was.
Helena Bonham Carter, who played Ari, said "I thought it made sense, kind of. I don't understand why everyone went, 'Huh?' It's all a time warp thing. He's gone back and he realizes Thade's beat him there.
Alright. Where to begin? Let's go step-by-step of how this scenario had to come about.
1) Thade's trapped in the cockpit of Leo's ship. - He can't get out. He doesn't know how to fly the ship. Even if he did, the ship's got no fuel left. So, land-locked Thade factoid shoots Carter's "Oh, it's so simple" remark inna head.
2) Assume Thade managed to fly the ship to outer space. - Odds are he can't actually navigate the thing, much less find the wormhole - sorry, "electromagnetic storm cloud" - that started the whole mess.
3) Assume Thade actually does get through the wormhole. - There's no reason to suppose he'd be able to make it to planet Earth. He could very well end up anywhere - and any time - in the universe.
4) Assume Thade makes it to Earth. - Requirement for Lincoln!Thade: very specific time and geography window. We can forgive the geography on account of autopilot, but the time thing won't fly so easy.
Scenario a) Crash and burn, baby! Landing skillz are less than mad.
Scenario b) Labrat. English-talking chimpish hominid from outer space? Oh hell, Thade's never seeing the light of day ever again. He'll be Level 5'd faster than anything.
5) Thade takes over Earth with his ape army. - Continuing from point 4, Scenario c) Escape! Back to the ship! Successfully navigate fickle, fickle storm back to Ape Planet! Not die landing! Not get lynched by ape society which apparently unanymously made you the scapegoat for your entire planet's ape population for the entire history of that planet! Recruit ape army! Get them back to Earth! Take over Earth! PROFIT!
Alternatively, we could skip points 2-4 and point 5's first four exclamation points, which basically means Thade escapes from the pod, recruits apes, gets them on the (non-functional) ship and makes it to Earth, which he beats the shit out of and lords over.
You're right, Helena, I don't know how this seemed so difficult before!
Meme via qthewetsprocket: Howard Garner's Eight Types of Intelligence
Your result for Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test...
Logical
"This area has to do with logic, abstractions, inductive and deductive reasoning, and numbers. While it is often assumed that those with this intelligence naturally excel in mathematics, chess, computer programming, and other logical or numerical activities, a more accurate definition places emphasis less on traditional mathematical ability and more reasoning capabilities, abstract pattern recognition, scientific thinking and investigation, and the ability to perform complex calculations.
Careers which suit those with this intelligence include scientists, mathematicians, engineers, doctors and economists." (Wikipedia)
Take Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test at HelloQuizzy
Meme via fallen_iceangel:
1) Make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment. (That way you're not leading the questions asked to fit the characters.)
2) Ask your flist to post questions in the comments.
For example:
'One, Nine, Fifteen and Twenty-One are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from Four. Do they succeed?'
'Under what circumstances might Five and Seven fall in love?'
'Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?'
'What would Two experience in Silent Hill?'
'What Pokémon would Eight have?'
'Write a drabble in which Sixteen and Nineteen FIGHT CRIME.'
1) If [Doctor Who's Dalek Caan] got turned into a Vampire, which other character's blood would it crave most?
...bwahahaha! *gasp* "I want to crawl inside and swim in your head! *gurgle* Such pretty colours! *twitch* OooOOOooh, I can see it! I'm dancing! I- I have teeth!"
Oh gods... Sam Tyler, 'cause of the whole, "This is the Master in a different suit! Oh, but you always change your face, Son of Time!"
Or Mr Muggles, because that would be absolutely hilarious to watch. Dalek Caan would slide off his Dalek-chair, twitch and gurgle his way along the floor and tentacle-handle Mr Muggles, all the while cooing about, "Hair! Oh, the fur! It bends in the winds!"
2) You have the option of having a (wild) one night stand with [Bones' Booth], or marrying [The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Cameron]. Which do you pick?
Booth. Ride 'em cowboy. Marrying a Terminator will only end in tears.
3) [Life on Mars' Sam Tyler] decides to quit his/her/it's day-job and go to University. What is their new major?
Well, considering he's wanted to be a cop since he was like four... Disilusioned by Gene Hunt and the whole cop world in 1973, he'd go into business school and sorta cheat using his 2005 knowledge to get filthy rich. Although most of that money would go to child support, because Annie got tired of his crazy antics and now only uses him for sex. She kicks him out once he starts talking to the TV. Or the radio. Or the toaster. (Okay, that only happened once.)
4) [The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Cameron, Doctor Who's The Master, Harry Potter's Snape and Doctor Who's Dalek Caan] go on a hiking trip. In what order do they get eaten by bears? Who escapes with his or her life?
Bwahahahaha! Oh gods, this is just...
I think they all get away with their lives. Bears-schmears. Look, Snape and Sylar (who omg should so team up and be an epic snarky villanous duo) have their powers. (Unless they accidently tossed Snape's wand into the fire the night before last. "Hey, it was cold," says the Master. "The air temperature was on par with your internal body temperature. It is improbable that you felt cold," counters Cameron.) Cameron's a freakin' Terminator: inedible tin can that could rip the bears apart with one hand. And finally, Dalek Caan, crazy squiggly naked Dalek though he is, has precognition and emergency temporal shifts. Although, to be fair, he'd probably try to play with the bears and stick a tentacle in its nose. *om nom nom*
5) [Heroes' Syler, Bones' Booth and Doctor Who's The Master] get drunk together. Who ends up passed out in whose lap?
Guh. Syler and the Master both end up on Booth's lap, who had to sit between them and their macho villainy posturing and isn't, it turns out, too upset by the fact. It might be the Pangalactic Garble-something that the Master drew up, or maybe it's got something to do with four gangly legs draped all around him, but he's quite comfortable.
6) [Life on Mars' Sam Tyler] and [Heroes' Mohinder] play chess. Who wins?
Sam. Even if he's never played chess (which he so probably has), he wins. Why? Momo's proven that he has no patience or concept of strategy beyond "Dope the hell out of them!"
...of course, if they're playing over at Momo's, that might just happen. In which case, Momo's the victor through Sam's withdrawl from the game via Chai-induced sleep.
7) [Heroes' Mr Muggles] and [Doctor Who's Rattigan] go on a blind date. Does the relationship last longer than an hour? How long?
The relationship would be a life-long soul partnership. Because Rattigan has no one else, and Mr Muggles heard about Rattigan's automated waffle machine (patent-pending).
However, let me mention that if this were The Great Mouse Detective's Ratigan, it would be even more awesome. I mean, we know Ratigan's more into cats, but come on, Mr Muggles is small and fluffy, like Felicia the cat :)
8) [Doctor Who's Wilf, Doctor Who's Dalek Cann and Supernatural's Dean Winchester] get in a fight. Who wins? Does anyone die? Is [House's Eric Foreman] sitting on the sidelines betting on the outcome, and is his or her bet correct?
Wilf wins, through old-man-cunning and some damn dirty fighting. Dean is mortally embarrassed. Dalek Caan squishes gently over the table and into the beer jar, giggling. Foreman sighs hapily, taking Chase's twenty. He learned a painful lesson of what veterans can do first hand a few days before, when he first met Wilf. Not that he's told Chase this, of course.
9) [Heroes' Mohinder and Doctor Who's Wilf] join forces to rid the world of evil. What do they call their duo and just how effective are they?
XD They totally suck at it at first, because Momo's a mess, of course. But Wilf soon sets him right, getting back into the military frame of mind and making Momo snap at attention. With a little grudging and loud-mouthed help from Donna (who secretly rather likes the crazy antics), they do a pretty decent job. Especially once that nice young man with the permanent trenchcoat gives Momo some lab space, free of charge. Mind you, Donna thinks they really ought to have a better name than MDA, although Wilf will have none of it. She pesterd Gramps to tell her what it meant for ages, but he was tight-lipped about it, so she asked Mohinder (loudly and in an intimidating manner), who shrugged and said the only MDA he knew was Medical Doctor Assistant. "Wilf seems proud if it," he shrugged.
Character who wasn't included in the questions: 13 :(
Links of the Day:
Personal MD: Rabies May Have Inspired Vampire Legend
Guardian.co.uk: Now on CD: library's treasure trove of authorial voices
Huffingtonpost.com: Fox News VP: If McCain Worker 'Mutilation' Story is a Hoax His Campaign is 'Over', Police: Campaign Volunteer Made Up Attack Story, McCain Adviser Endorses Obama (Oh snap!), Obama Arrives In Hawaii
YouTube Video:
Proof Obama was a Muslim - This shit is so wrong and flimsy in so many ways. It's a school enrollment paper. It may very well not be the frickin' be-all-and-end-all on Obama's religious upbringing. Also, Indonesia, with 88% of the population being Muslim and this trickling through the country's paperwork. And fuck you, Mr. "Imma gonna talk to ya like you're real slow in tha head". I can recite the first sentence of the muezzin's call in probably near-flawless Arabic without having heard it all too oft and yes it's a fucking gorgeous sound so what, I'm a muslim now? I even know the Islamic creed and can list the requirements a good Muslim. That just makes me educated.
Varya Akulova, the world's strongest girl in the world - 0.0
Survival Kit in a Sardine Can
Neil Gaiman Book Fest '08 Video
Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman
Lost Season 5 Promo!
Interview on John Simm's character, Edward "Yes, you're reading that right" Sexby
phantmgreeneyes's on Blindness by Joe Saramago
makingmywayhome's Heroes Picspam review: 3x06
qthewetsprocket's Mini Picspam: John Simm on the Sex Farm - Rubbish!beard \o/
batman_lulz: saintcheney's TDK Comics, piratehatter's Photo and Comic: Two-Faced Apple
Trick 'R Treat Trailer - Michael Dougherty's Halloween-themed horror movie starring Anna Paquin
linguaphiles's list Month names, including Ukraine's August: Серпень (Serpen), the month of the sickle. *beams*
firefly_xovers
true_blood_fic, trueblood_tv, a_lil_cocoa, bill_sookie
tv_rant
* Leo, Planet of the Apes (2001)
I've also gone through the Planet of the Apes 2001 (trailer) sites, cursing the idiot who took the official site down. (I'll never forgive 'em. It was so chocak-a-block full of stuff! Info!)
I don't quite know how to explain what I feel for this movie. It's a really frustrating movie for me to watch, I'll rant at it incessantly (and seriously, I need to record an ongoing-rant because I pick the shit out of it - and you thought Momo needed a Science Stick beating), but... There's some bits where I feel like forgiving it everything. (Oh, Tim Roth, you beautiful man you.)
Paul Oakenfold Rule the Planet Remix Music Video:
Click to viewBut anyway, rant a-hoy. This is an easy rant, because it's about the ending. Not what I consider the ending, because my brain blanks out the last five minutes of the film, but the actual ending nonetheless. I don't even try ranting at the ending usually, because it's just so beyond everything... See? It makes me incoherent, that's how fucked up it is.
Now, evadne_noel once described it in her Breadbox Edition (which she's totally welcome to start doing again pleasepleaseplease):
MARK flies off toward THE ENDING. THE ENDING runs MARK down, and then promptly sits on the AUDIENCE'S head.
This is completely accurate. (If you haven't watched the movie, I'm afraid YouTube can't help with the head-sitting. Alas.)
Anyway, why am I in rant-mode? Some people think the ending made sense. Some people obviously weren't watching the same movie I was.
Helena Bonham Carter, who played Ari, said "I thought it made sense, kind of. I don't understand why everyone went, 'Huh?' It's all a time warp thing. He's gone back and he realizes Thade's beat him there.
Alright. Where to begin? Let's go step-by-step of how this scenario had to come about.
1) Thade's trapped in the cockpit of Leo's ship. - He can't get out. He doesn't know how to fly the ship. Even if he did, the ship's got no fuel left. So, land-locked Thade factoid shoots Carter's "Oh, it's so simple" remark inna head.
2) Assume Thade managed to fly the ship to outer space. - Odds are he can't actually navigate the thing, much less find the wormhole - sorry, "electromagnetic storm cloud" - that started the whole mess.
3) Assume Thade actually does get through the wormhole. - There's no reason to suppose he'd be able to make it to planet Earth. He could very well end up anywhere - and any time - in the universe.
4) Assume Thade makes it to Earth. - Requirement for Lincoln!Thade: very specific time and geography window. We can forgive the geography on account of autopilot, but the time thing won't fly so easy.
Scenario a) Crash and burn, baby! Landing skillz are less than mad.
Scenario b) Labrat. English-talking chimpish hominid from outer space? Oh hell, Thade's never seeing the light of day ever again. He'll be Level 5'd faster than anything.
5) Thade takes over Earth with his ape army. - Continuing from point 4, Scenario c) Escape! Back to the ship! Successfully navigate fickle, fickle storm back to Ape Planet! Not die landing! Not get lynched by ape society which apparently unanymously made you the scapegoat for your entire planet's ape population for the entire history of that planet! Recruit ape army! Get them back to Earth! Take over Earth! PROFIT!
Alternatively, we could skip points 2-4 and point 5's first four exclamation points, which basically means Thade escapes from the pod, recruits apes, gets them on the (non-functional) ship and makes it to Earth, which he beats the shit out of and lords over.
You're right, Helena, I don't know how this seemed so difficult before!
Meme via qthewetsprocket: Howard Garner's Eight Types of Intelligence
Your result for Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test...
Logical
"This area has to do with logic, abstractions, inductive and deductive reasoning, and numbers. While it is often assumed that those with this intelligence naturally excel in mathematics, chess, computer programming, and other logical or numerical activities, a more accurate definition places emphasis less on traditional mathematical ability and more reasoning capabilities, abstract pattern recognition, scientific thinking and investigation, and the ability to perform complex calculations.
Careers which suit those with this intelligence include scientists, mathematicians, engineers, doctors and economists." (Wikipedia)
Take Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test at HelloQuizzy
Meme via fallen_iceangel:
1) Make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment. (That way you're not leading the questions asked to fit the characters.)
2) Ask your flist to post questions in the comments.
For example:
'One, Nine, Fifteen and Twenty-One are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from Four. Do they succeed?'
'Under what circumstances might Five and Seven fall in love?'
'Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?'
'What would Two experience in Silent Hill?'
'What Pokémon would Eight have?'
'Write a drabble in which Sixteen and Nineteen FIGHT CRIME.'
1) If [Doctor Who's Dalek Caan] got turned into a Vampire, which other character's blood would it crave most?
...bwahahaha! *gasp* "I want to crawl inside and swim in your head! *gurgle* Such pretty colours! *twitch* OooOOOooh, I can see it! I'm dancing! I- I have teeth!"
Oh gods... Sam Tyler, 'cause of the whole, "This is the Master in a different suit! Oh, but you always change your face, Son of Time!"
Or Mr Muggles, because that would be absolutely hilarious to watch. Dalek Caan would slide off his Dalek-chair, twitch and gurgle his way along the floor and tentacle-handle Mr Muggles, all the while cooing about, "Hair! Oh, the fur! It bends in the winds!"
2) You have the option of having a (wild) one night stand with [Bones' Booth], or marrying [The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Cameron]. Which do you pick?
Booth. Ride 'em cowboy. Marrying a Terminator will only end in tears.
3) [Life on Mars' Sam Tyler] decides to quit his/her/it's day-job and go to University. What is their new major?
Well, considering he's wanted to be a cop since he was like four... Disilusioned by Gene Hunt and the whole cop world in 1973, he'd go into business school and sorta cheat using his 2005 knowledge to get filthy rich. Although most of that money would go to child support, because Annie got tired of his crazy antics and now only uses him for sex. She kicks him out once he starts talking to the TV. Or the radio. Or the toaster. (Okay, that only happened once.)
4) [The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Cameron, Doctor Who's The Master, Harry Potter's Snape and Doctor Who's Dalek Caan] go on a hiking trip. In what order do they get eaten by bears? Who escapes with his or her life?
Bwahahahaha! Oh gods, this is just...
I think they all get away with their lives. Bears-schmears. Look, Snape and Sylar (who omg should so team up and be an epic snarky villanous duo) have their powers. (Unless they accidently tossed Snape's wand into the fire the night before last. "Hey, it was cold," says the Master. "The air temperature was on par with your internal body temperature. It is improbable that you felt cold," counters Cameron.) Cameron's a freakin' Terminator: inedible tin can that could rip the bears apart with one hand. And finally, Dalek Caan, crazy squiggly naked Dalek though he is, has precognition and emergency temporal shifts. Although, to be fair, he'd probably try to play with the bears and stick a tentacle in its nose. *om nom nom*
5) [Heroes' Syler, Bones' Booth and Doctor Who's The Master] get drunk together. Who ends up passed out in whose lap?
Guh. Syler and the Master both end up on Booth's lap, who had to sit between them and their macho villainy posturing and isn't, it turns out, too upset by the fact. It might be the Pangalactic Garble-something that the Master drew up, or maybe it's got something to do with four gangly legs draped all around him, but he's quite comfortable.
6) [Life on Mars' Sam Tyler] and [Heroes' Mohinder] play chess. Who wins?
Sam. Even if he's never played chess (which he so probably has), he wins. Why? Momo's proven that he has no patience or concept of strategy beyond "Dope the hell out of them!"
...of course, if they're playing over at Momo's, that might just happen. In which case, Momo's the victor through Sam's withdrawl from the game via Chai-induced sleep.
7) [Heroes' Mr Muggles] and [Doctor Who's Rattigan] go on a blind date. Does the relationship last longer than an hour? How long?
The relationship would be a life-long soul partnership. Because Rattigan has no one else, and Mr Muggles heard about Rattigan's automated waffle machine (patent-pending).
However, let me mention that if this were The Great Mouse Detective's Ratigan, it would be even more awesome. I mean, we know Ratigan's more into cats, but come on, Mr Muggles is small and fluffy, like Felicia the cat :)
8) [Doctor Who's Wilf, Doctor Who's Dalek Cann and Supernatural's Dean Winchester] get in a fight. Who wins? Does anyone die? Is [House's Eric Foreman] sitting on the sidelines betting on the outcome, and is his or her bet correct?
Wilf wins, through old-man-cunning and some damn dirty fighting. Dean is mortally embarrassed. Dalek Caan squishes gently over the table and into the beer jar, giggling. Foreman sighs hapily, taking Chase's twenty. He learned a painful lesson of what veterans can do first hand a few days before, when he first met Wilf. Not that he's told Chase this, of course.
9) [Heroes' Mohinder and Doctor Who's Wilf] join forces to rid the world of evil. What do they call their duo and just how effective are they?
XD They totally suck at it at first, because Momo's a mess, of course. But Wilf soon sets him right, getting back into the military frame of mind and making Momo snap at attention. With a little grudging and loud-mouthed help from Donna (who secretly rather likes the crazy antics), they do a pretty decent job. Especially once that nice young man with the permanent trenchcoat gives Momo some lab space, free of charge. Mind you, Donna thinks they really ought to have a better name than MDA, although Wilf will have none of it. She pesterd Gramps to tell her what it meant for ages, but he was tight-lipped about it, so she asked Mohinder (loudly and in an intimidating manner), who shrugged and said the only MDA he knew was Medical Doctor Assistant. "Wilf seems proud if it," he shrugged.
Character who wasn't included in the questions: 13 :(
Links of the Day:
Personal MD: Rabies May Have Inspired Vampire Legend
Guardian.co.uk: Now on CD: library's treasure trove of authorial voices
Huffingtonpost.com: Fox News VP: If McCain Worker 'Mutilation' Story is a Hoax His Campaign is 'Over', Police: Campaign Volunteer Made Up Attack Story, McCain Adviser Endorses Obama (Oh snap!), Obama Arrives In Hawaii
YouTube Video:
Proof Obama was a Muslim - This shit is so wrong and flimsy in so many ways. It's a school enrollment paper. It may very well not be the frickin' be-all-and-end-all on Obama's religious upbringing. Also, Indonesia, with 88% of the population being Muslim and this trickling through the country's paperwork. And fuck you, Mr. "Imma gonna talk to ya like you're real slow in tha head". I can recite the first sentence of the muezzin's call in probably near-flawless Arabic without having heard it all too oft and yes it's a fucking gorgeous sound so what, I'm a muslim now? I even know the Islamic creed and can list the requirements a good Muslim. That just makes me educated.
Varya Akulova, the world's strongest girl in the world - 0.0
Survival Kit in a Sardine Can
Neil Gaiman Book Fest '08 Video
Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman
Lost Season 5 Promo!
Interview on John Simm's character, Edward "Yes, you're reading that right" Sexby
phantmgreeneyes's on Blindness by Joe Saramago
makingmywayhome's Heroes Picspam review: 3x06
qthewetsprocket's Mini Picspam: John Simm on the Sex Farm - Rubbish!beard \o/
batman_lulz: saintcheney's TDK Comics, piratehatter's Photo and Comic: Two-Faced Apple
Trick 'R Treat Trailer - Michael Dougherty's Halloween-themed horror movie starring Anna Paquin
linguaphiles's list Month names, including Ukraine's August: Серпень (Serpen), the month of the sickle. *beams*
firefly_xovers
true_blood_fic, trueblood_tv, a_lil_cocoa, bill_sookie
tv_rant
* Leo, Planet of the Apes (2001)