(no subject)

Dec 05, 2007 20:15

It's time for another session of...

FIVE QUESTIONS!

These five come from
pure_doxyk:

1. You are to be locked in a cell for a decade. Besides the very basics, you can have the cell equipped with whatever it needs for you to do one activity. Obviously, whatever it is, you will come out of your seclusion damn good at it (and possibly also dribblingly insane, depending on your constitution, I suppose). What do you pick as your 10-year-isolation hobby?

Furious masturbation.

Nah, just kidding.

No. No, I'm not. But for my OTHER hobby I'd...ummm...I'd wanna come out an ass-kicker like Gordon-fucking-Liu. So maybe what I'd need for ten years would be Gordon "Lau Ka Fei" Liu. Trust me, stick with this video to the end. Thank dog for the fucking Liu family.

image Click to view


2. It turns out that there really, in the real world, concurrent with physics and everything, IS a Heaven! All the people that you think really deserve it are there, too. So what's it like?

Lots of great things to do, no judging, you can do what you want that doesn't cause pain to other people--unless they ask politley--and nothing horrible happens. You know why? Because people just don't feel like doing them.

You'd be surprised how many horrible--or even just bad--things stem from a single conscious decision. And it's often just as easy to make that decision the OTHER way. Usually easier.

3. Who, besides your spouse, could you just *not* pass up the chance to have sex with, if you ever got a shot? (Fictional people count.)

Arthur Dent. Fenchurch, too, if I could get them as a package deal...

4. You end up in a coma, and while you're there you dream that an old Sage comes to you and says: "Look, boy, you're really *in* this coma and without some sacrifice, you aren't getting out. At times like this, the Big Thing Out There sometimes authorizes a special, one-time offer--you know, a second shot in exchange for giving the world something it needs. In this case, the world needs a new Messiah. If you want to live, you can have a full physical recovery...but we'll have to strip your entire ego, destroy every part of your psychology that involves any negativity whatsoever. You'll be reborn as a completely pure human. You'll have some cool abilities, like the ability to heal by laying your hands on people, but that and other things will make you a constant target of every type of authority. You will probably scare off most of the people who know you, and you'll certainly lose all of your worldly possessions too. Then the rest of your life will consist of being followed around, harrassed, ridiculed, reviled, minutely inspected and studied, and eventually brutally murdered. And your message will either do some good in the future world, or just be the cause of a whole shitload of new wars and hatred; we can't guarantee anything. ...Or you can stay in the coma, and we get some other poor sot to do it. Whaddya say?"

"Look, slugger, I was having a real nice coma dream about two delightful fictional characters and here you come, getting all up in my face? You find somebody else, man. I'll stick with the coma. It's not so much that I don't want to do it, and I'm not really upset that you interrupted my threesome, but...look, if I feel like I'm ever going to do any good in this world it's gonna be on my terms. It's gotta be. I'm attached to who I am, but I tell you what. If he really is doing the right thing? You pull me outta this coma and I'll be there for him. As long as he's okay with swearing. I do that a lot."

5. If you had to pick one, would you rather be permanently mute, or violently allergic to alcohol?

Violently allergic to alcohol. I mean, there's no way I could stop talking, not even for...wait, all alcohol? No, no, it's fine, I'd keep my voice. Maybe I could sneak a sip of--no? Wow. That's, umm...can I get a last little...bit of...hey, look, I was just asking. Oh, relax. RELAX.

Jesus, have a drink. Hell, have mine...

------------------

Question time is always open, click on the link at the top of this entry for more Five Questions answers.
If you got questions you want me to answer, go for it.

PS -- Gonna have a new Sir Reginald story ready for you by noon tomorrow. It's not the one I've been working on for ages, but it's still a story. :)

b

memes, five questions, pure_doxyk

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