(no subject)
So, friend nhyrvana posted a challenge in our writing group, nethermind_wg.
A story, no more than three paragraphs, using the following words: sardine, hydrofoil, emergency.
Bonus points for using imaginary word "floof."
"Wait, what the hell kind of a superpower is being able to order a pizza?"
"From anywhere. I could be in fucking Djibouti and have a pie there in thirty minutes or less. With sardines on it."
"Don't you mean anchovies?"
"Nope. I can get whatever I want on my pizza. I once got one with pitch and wintergreen tic-tacs while I was in Mistress Pinefresh's basement, just to see if it would work. She was not amused -- what with my having been in the middle of floofing her -- and told me that in the future, I should only do that in case of emergency."
"What, exactly, is a pizza emergency?"
"You know, people with pizzabetes get them."
"Bitch, how many times do I have to tell you, words like that aren't funny? They don't even make sense. People with diabetes aren't short of dye or dying are they? No. Therefore, your hypothetical 'I need pizza to live' person would not have motherfucking pizzabetes!"
"You're just jealous."
"How in the hell could I possibly be jealous of you?"
"Cause I got my hydrofoilbetes cured last week."
"I hate you, Dad."
A story, no more than three paragraphs, using the following words: sardine, hydrofoil, emergency.
Bonus points for using imaginary word "floof."
"Wait, what the hell kind of a superpower is being able to order a pizza?"
"From anywhere. I could be in fucking Djibouti and have a pie there in thirty minutes or less. With sardines on it."
"Don't you mean anchovies?"
"Nope. I can get whatever I want on my pizza. I once got one with pitch and wintergreen tic-tacs while I was in Mistress Pinefresh's basement, just to see if it would work. She was not amused -- what with my having been in the middle of floofing her -- and told me that in the future, I should only do that in case of emergency."
"What, exactly, is a pizza emergency?"
"You know, people with pizzabetes get them."
"Bitch, how many times do I have to tell you, words like that aren't funny? They don't even make sense. People with diabetes aren't short of dye or dying are they? No. Therefore, your hypothetical 'I need pizza to live' person would not have motherfucking pizzabetes!"
"You're just jealous."
"How in the hell could I possibly be jealous of you?"
"Cause I got my hydrofoilbetes cured last week."
"I hate you, Dad."