(no subject)
Well, okay, this installment of So You Don't Have To actually took place two months ago, but I've finally gotten the photos in gear.
Kinda.
See, I had these in the cupboard for a while. Then
chuckdawg and
sarahsam were over one night, and I decided to have witnesses to their consumption.
And then I peer-pressured
chuckdawg into eating one. Many photos were taken, but that's where the suck part comes in.
Somehow, in my infinite dumbness, I managed to delete the initial photos of me eating them.
As such, the beginning of this photostravaganza is chuckdawg doing his part, then me eating them again after we...
This isn't fun. Sara has had fun before, and this isn't it.
This is a doom come by my own hand.
I've seen things that look less like quail eggs in brine.
...
I don't have any idea what the hell that sentence means.
Yes, it's important to balance the egg on a carving fork.
Also, look for the special Engrish humor that my brother Matthew and his partner Todd brought back from Laos.
Sadly--or, rather, not-so-sadly--this is the last remaining image of my original tasting.
The exact quote that accompanied this photo?
"If I eat this and then die, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
He prepares his emergency mouthwash.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!
"Oooh, that taste. Can't you taste that taste?"
Right at this moment, I thought I knew exactly where this was going...
...but after he chewed for a while, and as his face became less troubled, I knew something was wrong. Very wrong.
C'mon, Chuck-D, what's your final verdict?
I mean, I thought that the exterior was like very soft vinyl and the yolk was custardy, but egg-like. Not like "egg custard" but like...oh, fuck it.
"It's not bad, but I think I could make it better."
I'm sorry, WHAT THE LIVING SHIT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
Could, as Chuck has suggested, beef bouillon to be the key?
QUICK! TO THE BAT-KITCHEN!
Giving Isis a treat gives me a truly disgusting idea.
Could Whisker Lickin's be next?
Also, note two of the other ingredients in our experiment: garlic powder and Maggi "Improves the Taste" Seasoning.
Please note dainty pinky finger, then please shut up.
Bring odd broth to slight boil, continue to think that this is somehow a good idea.
We boiled them for about ten minutes, then put them into adorable little fish bowls.
YOU COULDN'T STOP US IF YOU TRIED!
Just kidding!
Please try to stop us.
I remain, as the French say, "unconvinced."
When all was said and done, I decided that the cooking had made the exterior into a slightly-beefy soft vinyl, and that the yolk had become some sort of molten yellow doom that destroyed half the tastebuds on my mouth with fireburnpain and the other half with "this is really icky. Not bad, just...well, like the boiled yolk of a quail egg that's been in brine in a can since it got here from Vietnam."
Chuck thought that, with time and experimentation, he could make it taste really damn good.
THE FINAL VERDICT?
We both reached for our water shortly thereafter, to wash down the taste..
Not shown is us reaching for our Bushmill's shortly thereafter, to wash down the water.
MORAL OF THE STORY?
Maybe, um, if they hadn't been in a can, in brine, they wouldn't have been terrible.
Somehow I think that they ended up just getting kinda chewynasty in there.
Maybe fresh from the quail, you know?
In the shell, still warm, crack it open and fry it and eat it immediately?
Or I'd even be down with it if they'd been hard-boiled and then served to me right afterwards.
Hey, you know what?
I'm giving this too much goddamned thought.
b
Kinda.
See, I had these in the cupboard for a while. Then
chuckdawg and
sarahsam were over one night, and I decided to have witnesses to their consumption.
And then I peer-pressured
chuckdawg into eating one. Many photos were taken, but that's where the suck part comes in.
Somehow, in my infinite dumbness, I managed to delete the initial photos of me eating them.
As such, the beginning of this photostravaganza is chuckdawg doing his part, then me eating them again after we...
This isn't fun. Sara has had fun before, and this isn't it.
This is a doom come by my own hand.
I've seen things that look less like quail eggs in brine.
...
I don't have any idea what the hell that sentence means.
Yes, it's important to balance the egg on a carving fork.
Also, look for the special Engrish humor that my brother Matthew and his partner Todd brought back from Laos.
Sadly--or, rather, not-so-sadly--this is the last remaining image of my original tasting.
The exact quote that accompanied this photo?
"If I eat this and then die, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
He prepares his emergency mouthwash.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!
"Oooh, that taste. Can't you taste that taste?"
Right at this moment, I thought I knew exactly where this was going...
...but after he chewed for a while, and as his face became less troubled, I knew something was wrong. Very wrong.
C'mon, Chuck-D, what's your final verdict?
I mean, I thought that the exterior was like very soft vinyl and the yolk was custardy, but egg-like. Not like "egg custard" but like...oh, fuck it.
"It's not bad, but I think I could make it better."
I'm sorry, WHAT THE LIVING SHIT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
Could, as Chuck has suggested, beef bouillon to be the key?
QUICK! TO THE BAT-KITCHEN!
Giving Isis a treat gives me a truly disgusting idea.
Could Whisker Lickin's be next?
Also, note two of the other ingredients in our experiment: garlic powder and Maggi "Improves the Taste" Seasoning.
Please note dainty pinky finger, then please shut up.
Bring odd broth to slight boil, continue to think that this is somehow a good idea.
We boiled them for about ten minutes, then put them into adorable little fish bowls.
YOU COULDN'T STOP US IF YOU TRIED!
Just kidding!
Please try to stop us.
I remain, as the French say, "unconvinced."
When all was said and done, I decided that the cooking had made the exterior into a slightly-beefy soft vinyl, and that the yolk had become some sort of molten yellow doom that destroyed half the tastebuds on my mouth with fireburnpain and the other half with "this is really icky. Not bad, just...well, like the boiled yolk of a quail egg that's been in brine in a can since it got here from Vietnam."
Chuck thought that, with time and experimentation, he could make it taste really damn good.
THE FINAL VERDICT?
We both reached for our water shortly thereafter, to wash down the taste..
Not shown is us reaching for our Bushmill's shortly thereafter, to wash down the water.
MORAL OF THE STORY?
Maybe, um, if they hadn't been in a can, in brine, they wouldn't have been terrible.
Somehow I think that they ended up just getting kinda chewynasty in there.
Maybe fresh from the quail, you know?
In the shell, still warm, crack it open and fry it and eat it immediately?
Or I'd even be down with it if they'd been hard-boiled and then served to me right afterwards.
Hey, you know what?
I'm giving this too much goddamned thought.
b