Sep 18, 2006 03:59
Yep, it’s September 18, 2006, which means that it’s time for The 9th Annual Wish benjamin’s Mother A Happy Birthday…Day.
My mother lives in Orlando, Florida, and I live in Urbana, Illinois. According to Google maps, we’re 1,065 miles apart. As such, we don’t see each other very often, perhaps once or twice a year. Add to that the fact that she becomes cross when her children give her presents and you’ll see why my options are pretty much limited to a phone call. Well, they used to be.
You see, in my senior year of college, I started using The Interwebs to get people to wish my mother a happy birthday. That first year, about twelve people sent her an e-mail. The number has increased every year, and I hope that this year is no exception.
I love my mama more than a whole stack of take-away curry and Chinese food and authentic Mexican food from El Charro. So show her some love on her…umm…39th birthday, and tell her that her batshit son sent you.
…
Okay, tell her that her batshit son named benjamin sent you. Sorry, Matthew, Jason, and Nathan #2, but you know I speak the truth.
SHE IS:
Annet Stein
n8annet at hotmail dott com
Love to all of you,
benjamin sTone
PS - As a bonus, please see the original e-mail below, salvaged from a text-file dump of my old Pine account at the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign.
PPS - Tell your friends. Even strangers are welcome to tell my mama how cool she is.
PPPS -- Yes, I was signing my name that way back in 1997, too. It was an interwebs error thing.
THE ORIGINAL E-MAIL FROM NINE YEARS AGO:
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 1997 20:41:54 -0500 (CDT)
From:
X-Sender: b-stone@ux9.cso.uiuc.edu
To: XXXXXXXXX
Subject: Happy Birthday to my mom.
Message-ID:
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
Status: RO
X-Status:
I KNOW EVERYONE HATES MASS-MAILINGS, but...
WISH HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM, ANNET STEIN !!!! You'll get a similar
message in a week, to do the same for my brother Matthew, but we'll deal with
that later. My Mom's b-day is the 18 of Sept, don't worry if you're a day or
two late, just send e-mail birthday wishes to:
annetn8@XXXXXXXX.com
THANKS!!!!
benjamin sTone
my monkeys,
september 18th,
mama,
annet,
9th annual,
love,
tradition,
birthday