nice guys finish last
I realized this morning that I am actually happy, I have a girl who loves me and I admittedly fell hard. I haven't been successful in relationships, and I was pondering why this one was going so much better. Then I realized it must be a change I recently made in how I chose to act.
People choose actions, despite emotional reactions and feelings. Actions are ultimately chosen by the person, if one sets them self to act within certain guidelines in a certain situation, they will be hard pressed to step outside of those self-limiting bounds. The choice I made was a simple one, "be the same egotistical ass I am around my friends around girls".
At the core of my being I am a nice guy, nothing will change that. When the chips are down and the shit hits the fan, I will be there. to quote Cedan "your often unmotivated, but your not lazy" when things need to happen, I will make them happen if its at all within my capabilities. My friends motivate me, I have been used in the past, and I will be used in the future, but once I realize it I'm pretty good at cutting ties.
My problem for the longest time (by my estimation) is quite simple. I was nicer around girls, I would avoid the random egotistical rants that I'm accustom too, and for what reason? they might not like me... my friends listen to such rants and they seem to like me why would I alter my actions for a girl? because I'm a dumb ass that’s why, that’s the only explanation.
I knew this girl, I didn't have any significant interest in dating her, she's cute but there were enough outstanding factors that would make dating a retarded idea, not the least of which being that I just didn't like her that way, I'm a retard. It was approaching valentines day, and near the anniversary of my mother's funeral (which I didn't consider until much after the fact, but I’m certain that contributed to my feelings of loneliness).
This girl and I had been hanging out here and there, seeing movies w/e we were friends, but I was being nicer then I would normally, because I was raised that way. I was taught that one should be nicer to girls and that some things weren't appropriate, in this generation that’s wrong. Being the moron that I obviously am, I found some way to read mixed signals into her actions to justify my asking her out. I figured at the very least it would be clear that we were just friends, so no real harm could come of it. I was wrong again, we're not friends, I haven't seen her since, and barely talked with her. I realized as soon as I asked her that I wanted a "no" and just hoped that I didn't fuck things up, but I did. Ultimately it's not important, if something like that is enough to ruin a friendship, its not a friendship. so I lost a friend, or at least, what I thought was a friend now i'm less then sure.
But through everything there is much to be learned, for instance I am who I am, and I will be myself at all times. fuck everyone that doesn't like it they aren't worthy of my friendship anyway. Work is an exception, in jobs you have to hide things based on policy and other annoying bullshit but complaining about that is why you have friends :).
Nice guys finish last, not exactly. Nice guys actually keep what their "arrogant" exterior brings in. I'm a nice guy, I can be an asshole but ultimately I'm a good human being.
Being an ass will attract girls, not because your being unkind, but because it generally reflects confidence. If I say someone is awful, I am in turn saying that I am better then they are, without directly stating it. This is a more acceptable way of displaying confidence. open challenges to large groups of people can b e exploited, and you look the fool if you lose and your arrogance is exposed.
"Arrogant" This is a word that I have been called numerous times by uniformed people. So I shall quote the meaning.
Arrogant: "is an adjective that may refer to having excessive pride in oneself. A person who is arrogant may exaggerate their own worth or importance in an overbearing manner."
I know how good I am at things. I'm probably the 3rd best technical M:Tg player in Minnesota, I would put Pelcak(sp?), and Justin Meyer ahead of me in a constructed technical play sense. At limited when it comes to the actual playing of magical cards I'm fine, when it comes to the drafting of them I'm horrible. I still beat the majority of players in Minnesota, because the state is weak. People call me arrogant when I say that they are awful. Demeaning, insulting, sure. But not arrogant, if I make no comment about my own skill, AND inflate it beyond reasonable truth arrogance has nothing to do with the discussion.
I am egotistical, cocky, someone of a jerk. but those all come of as confidence, confidence is attractive in all aspects, people flock to elitists, because those people think they are better, and are often right. human beings don't follow the weak willed, they follow the vocal and elitist, people don't like the weak willed, they don't have friends, they don't hold up half a conversation, submissive or weak willed people don't have real friends and don't do well with women.
So what is the moral of the overly long post? What people think of your actions doesn’t matter, if your cocky and egotistical… they like you anyway lol.
People choose actions, despite emotional reactions and feelings. Actions are ultimately chosen by the person, if one sets them self to act within certain guidelines in a certain situation, they will be hard pressed to step outside of those self-limiting bounds. The choice I made was a simple one, "be the same egotistical ass I am around my friends around girls".
At the core of my being I am a nice guy, nothing will change that. When the chips are down and the shit hits the fan, I will be there. to quote Cedan "your often unmotivated, but your not lazy" when things need to happen, I will make them happen if its at all within my capabilities. My friends motivate me, I have been used in the past, and I will be used in the future, but once I realize it I'm pretty good at cutting ties.
My problem for the longest time (by my estimation) is quite simple. I was nicer around girls, I would avoid the random egotistical rants that I'm accustom too, and for what reason? they might not like me... my friends listen to such rants and they seem to like me why would I alter my actions for a girl? because I'm a dumb ass that’s why, that’s the only explanation.
I knew this girl, I didn't have any significant interest in dating her, she's cute but there were enough outstanding factors that would make dating a retarded idea, not the least of which being that I just didn't like her that way, I'm a retard. It was approaching valentines day, and near the anniversary of my mother's funeral (which I didn't consider until much after the fact, but I’m certain that contributed to my feelings of loneliness).
This girl and I had been hanging out here and there, seeing movies w/e we were friends, but I was being nicer then I would normally, because I was raised that way. I was taught that one should be nicer to girls and that some things weren't appropriate, in this generation that’s wrong. Being the moron that I obviously am, I found some way to read mixed signals into her actions to justify my asking her out. I figured at the very least it would be clear that we were just friends, so no real harm could come of it. I was wrong again, we're not friends, I haven't seen her since, and barely talked with her. I realized as soon as I asked her that I wanted a "no" and just hoped that I didn't fuck things up, but I did. Ultimately it's not important, if something like that is enough to ruin a friendship, its not a friendship. so I lost a friend, or at least, what I thought was a friend now i'm less then sure.
But through everything there is much to be learned, for instance I am who I am, and I will be myself at all times. fuck everyone that doesn't like it they aren't worthy of my friendship anyway. Work is an exception, in jobs you have to hide things based on policy and other annoying bullshit but complaining about that is why you have friends :).
Nice guys finish last, not exactly. Nice guys actually keep what their "arrogant" exterior brings in. I'm a nice guy, I can be an asshole but ultimately I'm a good human being.
Being an ass will attract girls, not because your being unkind, but because it generally reflects confidence. If I say someone is awful, I am in turn saying that I am better then they are, without directly stating it. This is a more acceptable way of displaying confidence. open challenges to large groups of people can b e exploited, and you look the fool if you lose and your arrogance is exposed.
"Arrogant" This is a word that I have been called numerous times by uniformed people. So I shall quote the meaning.
Arrogant: "is an adjective that may refer to having excessive pride in oneself. A person who is arrogant may exaggerate their own worth or importance in an overbearing manner."
I know how good I am at things. I'm probably the 3rd best technical M:Tg player in Minnesota, I would put Pelcak(sp?), and Justin Meyer ahead of me in a constructed technical play sense. At limited when it comes to the actual playing of magical cards I'm fine, when it comes to the drafting of them I'm horrible. I still beat the majority of players in Minnesota, because the state is weak. People call me arrogant when I say that they are awful. Demeaning, insulting, sure. But not arrogant, if I make no comment about my own skill, AND inflate it beyond reasonable truth arrogance has nothing to do with the discussion.
I am egotistical, cocky, someone of a jerk. but those all come of as confidence, confidence is attractive in all aspects, people flock to elitists, because those people think they are better, and are often right. human beings don't follow the weak willed, they follow the vocal and elitist, people don't like the weak willed, they don't have friends, they don't hold up half a conversation, submissive or weak willed people don't have real friends and don't do well with women.
So what is the moral of the overly long post? What people think of your actions doesn’t matter, if your cocky and egotistical… they like you anyway lol.