forgive me father for i have sinned

[bemytear]

So here I am left with this overwhelming sadness. Why can I not be stronger than I am? Why am I still sitting here head over heels for a mere "dream". You I am digging my grave but if it wasn't for that foolish dream holding me back I would have gone a lot further. Where are those morals that I held so strongly when I was a little girl staring up at the big world, knowing what was out there. But you were not there for me when I fell, and he was. You do not know me and him like I do. I care about him yes, but he is my friend only. But now after what I have done I leave myself to think and badger that regrettable question why? Why did this sink futher, why am I dangerously close to be sick? WHY AM I SUCH A FOOL? The saddest part of this all is that I leave myself with no answer. Maybe I am leaving myself? Why can't one tear slide down my cheek and that be the only tear? Why must there be more tears?
I am forever failing myself it seems, I am some hopeless disasterous case of misery.....Do not worry they say it shall pass...Then why won't it fucking pass???