Read My Thoughts
It is nearly two in the morning and I am so tire but I cannot sleep and for those of you who know me probably aren't surprised that I'm not asleep because generally I'm an insomniac and usually I don't mind this lack of sleep but tonight it's driving me crazy it's like that itch that I just can't reach, no not sleep I could really care less about sleep. I crave human contact.
It's kind of like my drug of choice and I am dieing for another fix. This may seem weird but it's true. Usually it's something I can cure easily. I just pop online and chat with someone or write emails or post here and that's enough. Occasionally I can work through it with my dogs, Sam and Max. But this is one of the bad nights. I've been trying so hard to get over it and nothing is working not this not chatting, nothing.
This only happens once in awhile and this hasn't happened in about a year. I guess I just got so used to being around someone all the time and not having to worry about it at school. But now I'm home and it's back.
I guess I can compare it to a hunger pain. It's like wanting food to fill your sustenence need. But this is much worse for me. I need something tangible, I need physical contact with another person (get your mind out of the gutter). I just need someone near me that I can spill all my craziness too and be able to see and sense their presence. Sometimes it's a particular person, other times just anyone will do. But like I said this one is a bad one, I need to see him/her. Just to have them sitting across from me would be soothing. The perfect cure for this craving would be the impossible event of having a person sit with me and hold my hand and we could spill all our thoughts without a word spoken, too bad that's impossible.
I could get in my car and drive to their house now, but my parent's would freak not to mention they are already asleep due to the fact that they have a job that requires them to get up early.
I know I sound so crazy and stalkerish right now, but it's nothing like that, I've just be denied some genuine one-on-one human contact for awhile now and it's starting to get to me.
It's kind of like my drug of choice and I am dieing for another fix. This may seem weird but it's true. Usually it's something I can cure easily. I just pop online and chat with someone or write emails or post here and that's enough. Occasionally I can work through it with my dogs, Sam and Max. But this is one of the bad nights. I've been trying so hard to get over it and nothing is working not this not chatting, nothing.
This only happens once in awhile and this hasn't happened in about a year. I guess I just got so used to being around someone all the time and not having to worry about it at school. But now I'm home and it's back.
I guess I can compare it to a hunger pain. It's like wanting food to fill your sustenence need. But this is much worse for me. I need something tangible, I need physical contact with another person (get your mind out of the gutter). I just need someone near me that I can spill all my craziness too and be able to see and sense their presence. Sometimes it's a particular person, other times just anyone will do. But like I said this one is a bad one, I need to see him/her. Just to have them sitting across from me would be soothing. The perfect cure for this craving would be the impossible event of having a person sit with me and hold my hand and we could spill all our thoughts without a word spoken, too bad that's impossible.
I could get in my car and drive to their house now, but my parent's would freak not to mention they are already asleep due to the fact that they have a job that requires them to get up early.
I know I sound so crazy and stalkerish right now, but it's nothing like that, I've just be denied some genuine one-on-one human contact for awhile now and it's starting to get to me.