Life in the Fast Lane 4/6
“I don’t actually look human you know” Jedda says as they make their way through thick, Yuminan jungle. A part of Yumina Blaine hasn’t been to yet, Blaine’s only been to the plains - which is; incidentally, where Jedda is from. Jedda explains that there are jungle tribes, river tribes, coastal tribes and grass tribes - Jedda is a born and bred grass tribe girl who has been exiled for her alleged crimes.
“But you do” Kurt says “completely so”
“No, you only think I look human, I can manipulate how you see me so that you think I look human”
“Like a perception filter?” Blaine asks.
“Exactly”
“Perception what?” Kurt asks, frowning “You people all go at a million miles per hour and I’m still here with my normal brain - that learns at a normal pace”
“Not intelligence just experience hon, you’ve sort of been thrown in the deep end here - sorry. A perception filter alters the way you see something, so you see what it wants you to see”
“Not an it, a Yuminan” Jedda reminds “Who is still here and is listening”
“He’s explaining perception filters in general Jedda” The Doctor says, sighing “I’m still upset you lied to me frankly”
“I had to” Jedda says “Let’s just get your friend and get out of here. If we keep moving and I keep altering my thoughts hopefully they won’t catch me”
“She’s not his friend” Blaine whispers to Jedda and Kurt “She’s his wife. He just doesn’t want to admit it”
“What!” Kurt shrieks, dissolving into giggles “Somebody married him!?”
“I know nothing” Blaine admits “I’ve never actually met her he just threw that factoid at me last time I saw him, we were running from Daleks at the time. Gosh I hate Daleks”
Jedda gasps “Daleks! You faced Daleks and lived to tell the tale?”
“I nearly didn’t” Blaine says.
“How many times can I say sorry!” The Doctor calls from where he is navigating up ahead.
“Ah, don’t go that way” Jedda says sheepishly “That path leads further inland to the plains - I will get found if we go there. I’m linked telepathically with my tribesmen, they’ll know it’s me. You want the Courthouse anyway, which is where the river meets the jungle - which is actually up ahead.”
“You live here, I got it” The Doctor sighs “Kindly stop showing off”
“Not showing off” Jedda counters “Just nostalgic”
Blaine and Kurt can’t help but laugh - The Doctor has always hated it when his companions know more than him.
“There’s legends here, about the Time War” Jedda says “Stories I was told when I was a little girl, surviving throught the generations.” Jedda turns to Blaine and Kurt “We’re an ancient race; but nowhere near as old as The Daleks, or even the Timelords. They talk about you too, Doctor. I never thought I’d actually see you in person”
“See Blaine, dreams do come true” Kurt drawls sarcastically “The last thing we need is to inflate The Doctor’s already colossal ego”
“I hope they say nice things” the Doctor replies, ignoring Kurt completely.
“We love you here” Jedda says “And I’m sure you know it”
“You’re right” the Doctor says, grinning cheekily “I come here a lot”
“Here” Jedda says “Left here and then follow the path”
The Courthouse isn’t actually a building, but Blaine figures Jedda has been substituting Yuminan words for their closest Earth equivalent since they got here. The Courthouse is actually a beautiful area where the thick jungle has cleared beneath a cascading waterfall, Blaine guesses that this just must be where the legal proceedings are held. And there she is, well once again Blaine can only guess, but she’s the only other human besides himself and Kurt, being held by four, big Yuminan guards - River Song.
“Do I know you?” River says, but Blaine’s not quite sure who she’s talking to “You look vaguely familiar...”
“Very funny” the Doctor retorts.
“Not you sweetie” River says “Although, hello”
Blaine can’t help but be a little shocked by the Yuminans, they look a little bit like if the creatures from Avatar and Jar Jar Binks had a baby - and that’s really only the closest thing Blaine can even fathom to describe them. Their skin has a distinct glow with beautiful, distinctive patterns etched on each person, their eyes all the same colour - a warm gold. Blaine has to force himself not to stare, Kurt on the other hand, cannot help himself. Jedda hangs back, trying to be nonchalant, Blaine takes Kurt’s hand.
“This place is so beautiful” Kurt whispers “It’s hard to find natural beauty like this on Earth”
“This case is not open for tourists” one of the Yuminans says “I’m sorry but you’re going to have to leave”
“They speak English?” asks Kurt.
“TARDIS translates for you, kind of like the Babel Fish from Hitchhikers Guide” Blaine whispers back.
“Babel what?”
“I’ll lend you my copy when we get back” Blaine says, cursing himself for falling in love with a fashionista, as opposed to a fellow dork.
“Not a tourist - I’m The Doctor. I’m not sure if I’ve been here lately as I’m a little foggy on the year I came here last, but surely you remember me? Well anyway, I’m the Doctor, and these are my associates Je-“ Jedda shoots The Doctor a look “I mean err... Claire... Mason, Claire Mason, Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel”
“It’s an honour to meet you” Kurt says bowing slightly, Blaine turns to give him an odd look.
“I thought I might be talking to a high priest or something” Kurt says defensively.
“Judge” Jedda happily corrects and Blaine laughs.
River is still restrained by guards and she has a guilty look upon her face “Sweetie I’m sorry, I tried to be good, I swear” she says “But you know what I’m like...”
“I like her!” Kurt exclaims.
The Doctor rolls his eyes “You would” he says.
“Now listen here” The Doctor says addressing the Yuminans “There’s been some kind of terrible mistake and you’re going to have to let her go...”
Jedda suddenly grabs Blaine’s wrist “We have to go!” She hisses sharply “One of my tribesmen is here!” and sure enough, unlike the majority of Yuminans, who are green-skinned to blend in with the jungle there are two different colour skinned Yuminans - one a light blue and the other a pale purple, to match the grass.
“We have to get River first” Blaine says “Just be calm, The Doctor will protect you”
“You don’t understand” Jedda says, panic enveloping her voice “Not even The Doctor can save me if I’m found - he is not above the law” Jedda covers her face with her hands, which are glowing slightly “Oh no” she says “It’s started.”
“JEDDA!” The purple-skinned Yuminan screams “I’VE FOUND JEDDA YOTHA!”
Jedda’s whole body has begun to glow, she’s completely rooted to the spot.
Kurt, ever resourceful, uses the state of shock everybody seems to be in to his advantage and loosens the Yuminan guards grip on Rivers wrist, pulling her free.
“I’ve changed my mind” The Doctor says “We are keeping you Kurt Hummel, RUN!”
“Jedda” Blaine says, shaking Jedda’s shoulder “Jedda we’ve got to go” Jedda doesn’t move.
Blaine does the only thing he can think of, he grabs at her arm and pulls as he runs, partially dragging her along with him. The force of this seems to break the telepathic link, but by doing so brings the Yuminans back to reality.
“RUN!” Blaine screams at a disorientated Jedda as he links his fingers with hers “I won’t leave you” he tells her. He can hear Kurt calling his name from ahead of them just a little bit longer, he thinks.
But then he hears the most horrible sound he’s ever heard to this date, even worse than the sound of his ribs breaking or worse than the disappointed tone his Dad had used on him when he first came out. The sound of the TARDIS whooshing and groaning as it fades before Blaine and Jedda’s eyes, Blaine can hear the last echo of Kurt’s voice as he screams for Blaine.
“We weren’t fast enough” Blaine says “They’ve left us”
“Just run!” Jedda screams “Do not look back”
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Part 5: http://bemyparamore.livejournal.com/97694.html