oh journal it's been so long
when things are going so well i always wonder why i keep this thing. i never update because i don't have much to talk about, then things fall apart and i'm back here so fast it makes my head hurt.
and my heart.
i'm listening to death cab right now and it's a song that renea and i decided would be 'our' song. i had never really done that with anyone. i had songs that reminded me of situations or people long ago, but no one song that was specific to one other person and myself. we chose this song since it was playing on her iTunes while we made love. i really thought that this was one of those long term things, you know? like you find someone that you think feels the same as you do, has similar ideas, and wants similar things.
well we both wanted similar things in the fact that we're both willing to give things up to go our own ways. she'll be happier in georgia, i know she will. and i'll be happy on tour. maybe this was destined to fall apart. no wait, fuck destiny, i don't believe in that shite. we make our own decisions, we choose what we feel is best for us and we live with the consequences.
i read a page in a notebook lying here on this computer table that read 'never protected me'. is that why all this happened? i couldn't be a knight in shining armor? maybe i didn't know any other way to protect you than to hold you closer. i always thought that giving you my heart would be protection enough. i suppose i was wrong. well, we live and learn correct? let's hope to God that we do.
tim, i'm sorry that things are going the way they are for you. just know that even after it's hit rock bottom, it can only get better from there. hang in there friend, i'm not going anywhere.
take care of the people close to you.
but be sure to take care of yourself as well.
xoxo
and my heart.
i'm listening to death cab right now and it's a song that renea and i decided would be 'our' song. i had never really done that with anyone. i had songs that reminded me of situations or people long ago, but no one song that was specific to one other person and myself. we chose this song since it was playing on her iTunes while we made love. i really thought that this was one of those long term things, you know? like you find someone that you think feels the same as you do, has similar ideas, and wants similar things.
well we both wanted similar things in the fact that we're both willing to give things up to go our own ways. she'll be happier in georgia, i know she will. and i'll be happy on tour. maybe this was destined to fall apart. no wait, fuck destiny, i don't believe in that shite. we make our own decisions, we choose what we feel is best for us and we live with the consequences.
i read a page in a notebook lying here on this computer table that read 'never protected me'. is that why all this happened? i couldn't be a knight in shining armor? maybe i didn't know any other way to protect you than to hold you closer. i always thought that giving you my heart would be protection enough. i suppose i was wrong. well, we live and learn correct? let's hope to God that we do.
tim, i'm sorry that things are going the way they are for you. just know that even after it's hit rock bottom, it can only get better from there. hang in there friend, i'm not going anywhere.
take care of the people close to you.
but be sure to take care of yourself as well.
xoxo