DISGUSTING!
Apparently, one of my flatmates has WORMS!!!
Let that mental image - of thousands of little worms, wriggling though your digestive tract - sink in... mmmmmmmmm Do you want that? Huh? huh? Do ya? Do ya? Do Ya?
Now I have to go to the fucking pharmacy and take a goddamn pill so I'm not blowing it out my ass for the next two weeks! AGH! I hate my flatmates so much! It really does speak to the level of sanitation in your kitchen when it is so disgusting, people are contracting intestinal parasites! It's totally the fault of the two resident Indians, Prakash and Anita. They are literally the most disgusting people I have ever known (and I'm including Josh the Ape).
What's worse, we've all asked them, in our own ways, to please just clean up after their disgusting selves. I left a polite and very general "Did you clean up after yourself?" on the back of the kitchen door... thinking it would just politely say to everyone, from everyone, that they have to share this space, so please don't be a slob. Prakash tore it down within about 45 minutes. Fucking primitive.
Are we living in the middle ages again people? Oooh... or maybe Hunter-Gatherer. I would totally be the top-monkey in our society. I could take out Prakash. He's wee, and the women in our society think he's weak and dirty. They all like me, for I am clean, polite, and efficient. Natural-born monkey-leader. I would never throw poo at you, or give you intestinal parasites! That's a campaign promise!