Procrastinating, parties, and returning from self-imposed exile.
Hell is oneself
Hell is alone
- T.S Elliot
and this one I saw and thought of Mina. It applies to me too, mate:
"When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind."
- Michel de Montaigne
Yes I am a complete and utter book geek. Love it.
I have quite a bit to babble about, although topics have never really been an issue when it comes to my babble ability. My weekend was pretty fantastic, although will probably sound run-of-the-mil to everyone else. I went to a BBQ at Beck's place, which was really more a party then a BBQ since we consumed more alcohol than sausages, and it was quite an eye opener. I had been labouring under the impression that I had been functioning completely normally, content and healed, but apparently some wounds take alot longer to heal then you'd expect. Anyway, throughout said party, I felt more me - alive, comfortable, and not having to pretend - than I have in a very very long time. I did not feel the urge to be alone, or that I was having to concentrate really hard on what people were saying in order to seem interested, or feel like as the only single person in a sea of couples, that I was on the outer, looking in. I didn't feel melancholy or pensive. Sigh. I can't express in words how relieved this makes me, since I thought that perhaps this new uncomfortable Beck who was unable to have any fun was the product of a shitty end to a shitty relationship. I'm still in here somewhere. *grin* I also made some new mates, saw some old ones who I haven't seen in about a year, and hung out with my best mate.
Yes, reading that back now, I do seem very melodramatic. Maybe this is new Beck typing this, eh? Old or new, we're blurry at the edges.
Anyway, back to babble.
I mentioned to Laura today that I wanted to see the Spiderwick Chronicles movie, since I love Holly Black, and she called me back this arvo to tell me she'd won free tickets off the radio. Nova I think. Huzzah! Free Spiderwick for us. Everything's coming up Milhouse! *hugs Nova and Holly Black* I'm so very easily pleased. It's too bad really that it's a kid's movie, because then they'd probably be Gold Class tickets, and I love having a huge comfy reclining chair to watch a movie in while being served food and beverages at the exact time of my choice. Hehehe.
I think I'm off to read some more Ren. Poetry for Lit, although what's more likely to happen is that I'll start Lirael by Garth Nix and put Shakespeare and and John Donne off for tomorrow. Seriously, how hard is it to spell "kind" properly, and not spell it kynde? German is so much less confusing then old school English.
Have a good one, flist! *hugs*
Hell is alone
- T.S Elliot
and this one I saw and thought of Mina. It applies to me too, mate:
"When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind."
- Michel de Montaigne
Yes I am a complete and utter book geek. Love it.
I have quite a bit to babble about, although topics have never really been an issue when it comes to my babble ability. My weekend was pretty fantastic, although will probably sound run-of-the-mil to everyone else. I went to a BBQ at Beck's place, which was really more a party then a BBQ since we consumed more alcohol than sausages, and it was quite an eye opener. I had been labouring under the impression that I had been functioning completely normally, content and healed, but apparently some wounds take alot longer to heal then you'd expect. Anyway, throughout said party, I felt more me - alive, comfortable, and not having to pretend - than I have in a very very long time. I did not feel the urge to be alone, or that I was having to concentrate really hard on what people were saying in order to seem interested, or feel like as the only single person in a sea of couples, that I was on the outer, looking in. I didn't feel melancholy or pensive. Sigh. I can't express in words how relieved this makes me, since I thought that perhaps this new uncomfortable Beck who was unable to have any fun was the product of a shitty end to a shitty relationship. I'm still in here somewhere. *grin* I also made some new mates, saw some old ones who I haven't seen in about a year, and hung out with my best mate.
Yes, reading that back now, I do seem very melodramatic. Maybe this is new Beck typing this, eh? Old or new, we're blurry at the edges.
Anyway, back to babble.
I mentioned to Laura today that I wanted to see the Spiderwick Chronicles movie, since I love Holly Black, and she called me back this arvo to tell me she'd won free tickets off the radio. Nova I think. Huzzah! Free Spiderwick for us. Everything's coming up Milhouse! *hugs Nova and Holly Black* I'm so very easily pleased. It's too bad really that it's a kid's movie, because then they'd probably be Gold Class tickets, and I love having a huge comfy reclining chair to watch a movie in while being served food and beverages at the exact time of my choice. Hehehe.
I think I'm off to read some more Ren. Poetry for Lit, although what's more likely to happen is that I'll start Lirael by Garth Nix and put Shakespeare and and John Donne off for tomorrow. Seriously, how hard is it to spell "kind" properly, and not spell it kynde? German is so much less confusing then old school English.
Have a good one, flist! *hugs*